Maybe love is not just a dream
by brzq
Summary: We all know Spencer is flawless, and Emily couldn't avoid falling for her best friend's sweet and sexy lips. My first fanfiction.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1.**

_Emily stared into Spencer's lips, looking at how sexily they moved. She was stressing out about one of her million AP classes, but Emily couldn't but find it cute. She wasn't paying attention to the brunette words, hypnotized by her sexy voice and the slow movement of her lips and her tongue. And just like that, Spencer was staring at her too, asking her about something she couldn't hear. She saw how Spencer's lips were closer and closer to hers, until they almost were kissing, but suddenly her friend burst up laughing._

Suddenly, Emily opened her eyes in the darkness of her room, rolling out of bed and heading to the kitchen. She just needed some cold water, she couldn't have been dreaming about one of her best friends. She couldn't, but she knew she was. Lately, she was having those dreams about almost kissing her friend, but in the end Spencer only laughed at her, like Ali used to do.

After drinking some water, she went back to bed and tried to sleep. She needed to sleep as much as possible, since next they she would have a swim meeting.

Some hours later, her mother talking to someone in the hall awakened her. "Yeah, she's up in her bedroom, she should be getting ready." Heat flushed to her cheeks when she thought that it could be Spencer, and she remembered her dream. When someone knocked at the door, she felt so released to see Aria in front of her that she even sighed. Aria looked at her with a funny smirk in her face, and Emily turned and started getting dressed. "It seems like you're not happy with me driving you to school", Aria said while sitting on Emily's bed. "No! It's just that I thought it could be someone else", Emily answered quickly, frightened by the idea of her friend getting angry with her. "Oh, so that's it! You have a crush on someone!" Aria jumped on, "who is she? Do I know her? C'mon, let me know!" Emily felt how her face was turning dark red while she didn't know how to answer to all of her friend's curiosity. "You got it wrong, I don't have a crush on anyone! You're acting so like Hanna, stop it!" Finally, Aria sighed clearly frustrated, going downstairs.

When they arrived at school, they saw Hanna and Spencer going to meet them with big smiles on their faces. Emily's heart started beating so fast she thought someone would notice, but Aria didn't seem to see the look in her eyes when she looked straight at Spencer's lips. They hugged each other, but they couldn't even talk because they were almost late for their first class.

Emily spent all her day avoiding her friends, trying to concentrate on her meeting, but she only could think about how Spencer managed to be both sexy and cute at the same time. She felt how her heart fastened only by thinking about her friend, a feeling that was becoming more and more common lately. She was so afraid she could be falling in love with one of her best friends, that she didn't see Paige walking to her. A few seconds later, it was too late and she had to pretend she was in love with Paige, her actual girlfriend. But she hated how she had to kiss her lips instead of Spencer's, and how she had to stare in her eyes instead of Spencer's. She hated lying to Paige like that, especially since she showed how much she loved her by staying with her even after all she told her about A on Halloween.

They both walked together to the locker room, and they started getting ready for the meeting.

After the meeting, Emily met her friends to celebrate that they won, mostly thanks to her.

"We can go to my house, my parents are in Philly for the weekend and Melissa is who knows where" Spencer said as leading the others to her Mercedes.

"I'm so lovin' it! And please, let's get drunk and party 'til tomorrow morning!" Hanna quickly added.

"Yeah, and tomorrow we can go to the mall" Aria answered ironically.

"Really!?" Hanna cried while showing the hugest smile she's ever had on her face since too long.

"Of course not, we are so not getting drunk and tomorrow we won't go shopping. Sorry Hanna, but we have to discuss some serious things, like this stalker bitch who tried to kill both Aria and me in the same party night" Spencer said a little roughly.

"Okay, I love you too" Hanna answered obviously hurt. Emily quickly hugged her friend and let her know that she would love to go shopping with her. "Oh, don't lie to me, sweetie, but I appreciate your effort, at least you're not as bitchy as these two" Hanna said while answering Emily's hug.

Later that night, the four of them were watching TV at Spencer's, lying on her couch. When she looked up, Aria saw how Emily was staring at Spencer, and she smiled while remembering their morning talk. She looked at Hanna, who was right next to her, and taking her phone, she pretended to be sending a text, so she could write down her thoughts for the blonde. When Hanna read it, she quickly looked at Emily and smiled while writing her opinion for Aria: "I would totally worship these two; I bet they would be one of these lovely cute couples who have rough sex all night."

Emily realized her friends were looking at her with those huge grins that always frightened her, and when she saw Aria's wink she knew her friend had seen her looking at Spencer. She supposed Hanna knew too, since she was looking at her with the same look in her eyes. Emily only could shake her head as slowly as possibly, trying to don't alert Spencer about something weird happening around her.

When Emily opened her eyes, she was on Spencer's bed, with the brunette sleeping next to her. She couldn't see Hanna or Aria anywhere near there. She didn't know how, but somewhat she was suddenly so near Spencer's lips she could feel her warm breath in her own lips. Slowly, the brunette opened her eyes and stared fondly into Emily's. They staid like that, looking at each other, when Emily decided to move forward and press her lips against Spencer's sweet, sexy lips. Spencer quickly opened her mouth, and their tongues fought for domination while Emily tried to hide her surprise. She never imagined herself kissing her best friend in real life, and of course she never imagined it could happen there, in Spencer's bed.

Spencer moaned, and Emily felt how she was more aroused than she'd never been with Paige. They rolled, so Spencer was on top of her and they kept kissing while Emily dug her nails on her friend's back. Spencer started to slide her left hand towards Emily's breasts, and at the same time Emily sighed in pleasure, they heard a cough from the bedroom's door. Both of them looked around at the same time, when they saw Hanna and Aria looking at them with a huge smile in their faces.

"Making out, girls?" Hanna asked.

"I thought you would wait 'til being alone in home, since you were not being discrete" Aria added with a funny look in her eyes.

"No, it's not what you think, I swear" Emily cried. Spencer looked at her, "So what is it, Em? Where you just being slutty with me?" "Oh no, Spence!" Emily looked terrified.

Spencer smiled, and hugged her friend. "Don't worry, we'll talk about it later, only the two of us." Emily smiled and whispered a thank you in Spencer's hear, making her heart pound faster and her face go red.

Aria and Hanna both laughed. "I think we should be going, Han." "Yeah, it seems like these girls have a lot to talk about, we'll call them later, if they're not too busy having hot lesbian sex all over Spencer's house."

"Shut up, Hanna!" Spencer cried throwing her a pillow.

When her friends left, Spencer leaned in to kiss Emily again and whispered "I've been waiting for doing this with you since a long while ago, I think we can talk later."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2.**

When Emily woke up, the first thing she saw was her best friend lying next to her. She smiled to herself while remembering everything from the previous night. Not wanting to wake up Spencer, she tried to roll off of bed as quietly as possible, but it seemed like she didn't succeed.

When Spencer opened her eyes, she saw her friend Emily staring at her with a lovely smile. "Hey, you awake?" she whispered.

Emily leaned forward to kiss her, but Spencer closed her eyes and said "I think we need to talk before going further." She could see how pain crossed Emily's face, but she had to do it.

"Yeah, sure…" Emily said with the saddest voice Spencer ever heard.

Spencer sat up and looked into Emily's eyes. "Emily, I really love you, but we can't do this right now. I have Toby, you have Paige. And there's A… I don't want you to get hurt."

Emily felt her heart breaking into little pieces, but she only said "I suppose you're right, I was stupid by thinking this could work."

When Spencer saw how her words had hurt her friend, she hugged her. "You've never been stupid, Em. I love you more than anything, so I can't let you get hurt because of me."

Emily turned her face and pressed her lips into Spencer's. Slowly, she started to undress her without stop the kiss. Spencer moaned and pushed Emily's body near hers, but Emily just separated her face from her friend's and asked "You said you want to stop, remember?"

"Oh, Emily, if you stop now I'll have to kill you," Spencer said as kissing roughly Emily's lips. "Shut up and do me."

Emily's face went red by only hear that, but she couldn't stop herself from feeling wetter than ever. Neither Alison nor Maya or Samara and of course nor Paige had made her feel that way, and she was sure she loved the feeling. They kissed for a while, while touching her bodies and moaning nonstop. Before going further, Spencer rolled over Emily and pushed her to the bed. "I love you, and I've been waiting too many time for this, but we have to stop it now," she said while breaking her own heart.

Emily stared into her friend's eyes, and whispered "It doesn't seem like you really wanna stop, Spence." She tried to kiss the brunette again, but the look on her eyes stopped her. "Or do you? You don't like me? You said you love me."

"Em, I couldn't love you more, but this will get too complicated…" Spencer tried to explain herself before doing anymore, but she only lied. She was dying for kissing Emily again, and her friend saw if clearly written all over her face.

"Let's do something, we finish this and then we can talk about everything you need to talk about," Emily said while trying again to kiss Spencer, who opened her mouth easily and they resumed what they had started not long ago. Spencer moved her hands to Emily's breasts, and Emily moaned while biting on Spencer's neck.

They were both only wearing their pants, and Spencer tried to take Emily's off. When she realized what her friend was trying, she moved her hands 'til stop her and whispered "Not yet, please."

"Why, are you still virgin or something?" Spencer asked with a funny smile in her face.

"Are you laughing at me? Because actually I am a virgin." Emily answered with an angry tone.

"Wait, don't get upset, but… You and Maya never…?" Spencer couldn't believe she was asking that to her best friend, but she couldn't help it.

"No, never ever." Emily answered obviously getting upset.

"Ok, I'm not taking away your virginity before knowing what we are." Spencer said. "But I guess we could do something nearly as funny as that."

"I don't care what we do, just kiss me. I'm yours, Spence" Emily said in a husky tone while taking her friend by her neck and forcing her to lean forward.

They started kissing again, and their hands flied through their bodies. Spencer knew she wouldn't be able to stop if they continued that way, but she started kissing Emily's neck. She was dying for sucking on her pulse spot, but she didn't want to left her friend with a big hickey to explain to Paige. She continued going lower and lower with her kisses, biting here and there, while Emily started moaning a little too loud and she started sweating.

A few minutes later, Emily grabbed Spencer's face and suddenly said "I think you're sure, we should talk."

Spencer couldn't say anything, so she only opened her mouth to say "Right now?"

"Of course right now," Emily answered. "Listen, I love you, I really do, but I think the best thing for us is to stay like friends, mostly because of A."

"Em, I love you too, and I tried to stop this, to stop my feelings, but you can't tell me this right now because you made me open my heart and I don't think I'll be able to look at you as a friend anymore."

"That's what I was thinking, but I don't want A to hurt us anymore," Emily said with a low voice.

"Emily, I wanna ask you something, but you have to promise me you won't get mad at me" Spencer said suddenly with a serious look.

"I would never get mad at you, tell me."

"Would you ever… think about… something like being lovers?" Spencer asked without taking away her serious look. When she saw Emily's face, she quickly added, "I mean, not lovers in a sexual or dirty way, I say lovers like secretly, without anyone knowing, not even Hanna or Aria, and specially not Paige and Toby. I think we could put A away this way…"

Emily looked at her like she was crazy, but a few seconds later she realized that this way she could be with the girl she really loved, even if it meant lying to Hanna and Aria or using Paige that way. She loved Spencer, and she couldn't stop loving her now that she knew Spencer loved her too. She kissed her now lover roughly, and taking a little break but not going too far away from her lips she whispered "I don't care what we have to do, as long as it means that we can be together."

Spencer smiled and hugged the girl behind her. "What do you say about taking care of your V club card?" she said with a huge smile on her face. Emily moaned and kissed Spencer's neck, only stopping to say "I'd love it, honey."


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N I wanna thank you for your reviews. This is my first fanfiction, so I'm sorry if it's not very good or something, I'm just trying my best. I'll try to update daily, but next week I'll be busy studying so maybe I won't be able to write every day. Also, I know there isn't a lot of sex scenes, but I think I'll keep it rated M, 'cause I promise there will be sex on the next chapter. Hope you like this one.**

**I appreciate your opinion, and I'm open to suggestions, so feel free to tell me anything :)**

**Chapter 3.**

Next Monday, Emily woke up with a huge smile, thinking about how much fun she had had with Spencer, and released after a long night dreaming about non-sexual things.

When she arrived at school, the first person she saw was Spencer, talking with Hanna and Aria in front of her locker. She started walking towards them, but she was stopped by someone taking her arm. She turned around to see it was Paige, and she realized it would be harder than she had thought lying to her.

"Hey, I called you yesterday" Paige said with a worried tone.

"Sorry, I was at Spencer's and my battery was dead." Emily started feeling guilty, so she added "You wanna go somewhere this afternoon?"

Paige smiled while whispering "Sure" right before kissing her girlfriend lightly and heading to her class. Emily turned to face her friends, and her heart jumped when she saw jealously all over Spencer's face. She smiled and said "Hi girls, how you doin' today?"

"Pretty good, and how are you after making out with your best friend and don't tell your girlfriend?" Hanna asked with a cruel smirk.

"What…?" Emily opened her mouth, don't being able to elaborate an answer to that question. Spencer sighed and said "I told you, Hanna. We were drinking and it was a mistake, there's no need to torture Em."

Aria put her hand on Emily's arm and told her "Don't worry, we'll keep your little secret."

With that, they went to their classes, right after Emily squeezed Spencer's hand to thank her. However, she didn't like lying to her best friends.

After school, Emily met Paige at the door and they went together to the park. They spent a few minutes talking about school and swimming, but Emily couldn't focus on the conversation. When Paige was thinking about ask her if she was ok, she kissed her roughly. They kept kissing for a long while, and Paige started kissing and sucking on Emily's neck. Emily kept imagining she was making out with Spencer, but she was kissing her true girlfriend. Paige moved her hand inside of Emily's jeans and felt her wetness. It was getting late, so they had to kiss goodbye and went home.

Emily told her mom she wasn't hungry and went straight to have a shower. While getting undressed, she looked at her reflection in the mirror and her mouth dropt open when she saw the enormous hickey Paige had left in her neck. She imagined Spencer's reaction to it, but she knew she had to keep seeing Paige just to stay safe.

A few streets further than Emily, Spencer was making out with Toby on her bed. Things were getting hotter and hotter, but she knew she couldn't stop him. He moved his hands to her breasts, and she moaned while kissing his neck. They took off their shirts, and he started to undo her bra. She felt his hardness through is jeans and closed her eyes thinking about what was about to come. Right when they were about to get totally undressed and continue under the sheets of Spencer's bed, Melissa entered the room without knocking at the door.

"What the hell are you doing?" Spencer cried while covering her half-naked body.

"No, what the hell are you doing with him?" Melissa asked her sister. "Are you crazy or what? Toby, get dressed and go home now."

Toby did what he was told to do, and Spencer kissed him goodbye while thanking her sister for stopping things in the inside. She felt like she couldn't have sex with anyone but Emily, but she knew they were safer this way.

Melissa looked at her sister like she was a huge deception and got off of the room. Once alone, Spencer took her phone and called Emily.

"Thank God, I missed you all day!" Emily said as a hello.

"Me too, this is harder than I thought. I need you here with me" Spencer said with a husky voice.

"I can ask my mom to let me sleep there, if you want, but maybe you'll be disappointed…" Emily answered.

"Disappointed? I would never be disappointed with you, dear" Spencer said thinking about what could disappoint her.

"I think you'd be disappointed if you saw the mark Paige left in my neck this afternoon." Emily decided to tell her the truth.

"Oh… I think you were right, I would be disappointed, but I know you're officially girlfriends, even if it kills me to think about her mouth on your neck" Spencer said with a both sad and angry voice.

"Spencer, you're the one that I love, and I will always love you, doesn't matter who I have to kiss." Emily said quickly, noticing her friends tone.

They hung up and Spencer went to bed. She was trying to get asleep, but she started thinking about Emily's sexy body and the way they kissed, and when she realized it one of her hands was caressing her left breast. Before going further, she decided to take a cold shower. The next day would be a long day, and she should sleep.

In the morning, both Spencer and Emily met at the door and went to the back of the gym. Before they could say anything, they were kissing roughly without even looking around. Hating herself for doing it, Spencer stopped Emily and said "A could be out there taking photos of us, you really wanna continue this out here?" Emily couldn't but recognize her friend was right, and she said "Tonight you'll sleep at my home, so better get ready and drink some coffee."

"What does this mean?" Spencer asked with a funny look in her eyes. "Are you saying you're gonna fuck me tonight or what?"

"Maybe" Emily said while walking towards the front of the school.

Only two hours later, Spencer found herself sitting in the same class than Emily and her two other friends, Aria and Hanna. Mr. Fitz went to the front of the class and started talking about a book they were reading, but she wasn't paying attention. She was lost in her mind looking at Emily's back, when Hanna threw her a note: "It seems like it wasn't a mistake at all, stop looking at your friend's ass." Spencer looked at her friend and shook her head while mouthing a clear "No." Hanna smiled and winked right before turning around to send another paper to Aria. Aria read it and winked to Spencer, who was too afraid of her friends discovering the truth to say anything. After a few moments, she took a piece of paper and wrote "You're wrong, the only one here who turns me on is Mr. Fitz, but I think Aria wouldn't be happy with it." She threw the paper to Hanna and winked twice, turning towards the teacher and pretending to pay attention.

When she was starting to find the lesson a little interesting, her phone buzzed in her pocket. She looked at the screen and saw she had a new text. Her heart pounded thinking it could be from A, but when she opened it she saw it was from Emily, and it said "Remember to don't wear panties tonight, love." She felt her face turning a dark shade of red, and wrote a quick "Sure" to her friend.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N I would love to make a longer chapter, but since I'm busy with school and I have a lot of work to do, I think you'll have to wait at least one week. Anyway, I'll try to keep updating daily. I truly hope you like this chapter, since I loved writing it. Feel free to leave me your opinion, suggestions or any other kind of comment :)**

**Chapter 4.**

That afternoon, Spencer met Emily at her house, and both of them got ready to go to the movies, since Pam Fields would be at home and neither of them wanted her to hear something. They would go home late, so she would be asleep and they could do whatever they wanted.

They chose a French movie, so they were totally alone in the room. However, they went to the last row, and before the credits were on they were kissing passionately. Spencer took Emily's low lip between her teeth, while Emily moved her hands under her friend's shirt. They kissed roughly for a while, and Emily felt like she was going to explode at any time. Their kiss became hotter and hotter, both of them needing more. Spencer stopped Emily, just to look into her eyes and whisper "I've been waiting for this since the other night."

Emily smiled and leaned forward to suck on Spencer's pulse point. She kissed, bitted and sucked all over Spencer's neck, leaving a big hickey that she probably would have to cover with make-up. Spencer moved her hands to Emily's thighs and started making circles with her fingers, teasing her friend. Emily moaned and said, a little too loud, "Take me, here. I'm yours."

Spencer kissed the girl lips even roughly, and right when she was about to do something about what she had just said, the film ended and the lights went on. They both started to giggle when they realized they almost had sex in a cinema, and even if they were dying for an orgasm, even a little one, they knew they had to go home. They took a hot dog to take away and headed to Emily's home. Since it was such a nice night, they decided to go by walk, but they knew it would be hard not to touch and kiss each other in the way.

When they arrived at Field's home, Pam hugged both of the girls and told them she was tired. "If you need anything, I'll be in my bedroom. And Spencer, this is your house." And with that she went bed, not having even a tiny idea about what her daughter and the other girl had planned for the night.

Emily took Spencer's hand and leaned her to the kitchen. She sat in the table and opened her legs so her friend could easily kiss her. They stood there for a while, just kissing and teasing each other moving their hands below their clothes. After a few minutes, Emily tried to move from her position, but Spencer took her by her hips and forced her to stay in her place. She kissed the swimmer roughly, and slowly moved her hands up her friend's thighs. Emily moaned, and Spencer stopped to look at her and say "Be quiet, what if your mother hears us?"

"I don't care" Emily answered between kisses and moans, "just fuck me and stop teasing me."

"Oh, I won't do that if you don't show me how much you need it." Spencer said with an evil smile, teasing Emily even more.

Emily undid her jeans' button. She moved 'til let her jeans go down to her ankles, and taking Spencer's hand with hers she put it above her pants. "See?" Emily said with a husky voice that turned Spencer even more.

"See what?" Spencer said. "I can't see anything."

Emily started to move Spencer's hands under her pants. She was getting wetter and wetter, and Spencer could feel it. She started kissing again her friend, while slowly taking her shirt away. In only a few seconds, Spencer was totally dressed up while Emily was standing naked in her own kitchen, with her mom only a few feet away.

Spencer started to trace Emily's neck with her mouth. She moved down, without taking away her mouth from her friend's skin, until reach her breast. Spencer had always felt a little insecure about her own breasts, so she avoided spending too much on her friend's boobs, since they were bigger than hers. She kissed every single spot of skin on Emily's stomach, and when Emily thought she was about to give her oral sex she just stopped and stood up.

With that, Spencer just kissed Emily's lips lightly and said "I think it's time to sleep, see you in bed."

When Emily realized what had just happened, she tried to follow her friend to her bedroom, but her legs wouldn't respond. She was too aroused, and she knew it. She tried to put on her clothes again, and quietly went to her bedroom, wondering if her mother had heard any of her moans.

She opened her door and saw Spencer lying on her bed, only wearing a plane t-shirt as her sleeping clothes. She threw herself at her friend's arms and they started kissing roughly. She moaned when she felt Spencer's cold hand under her underwear, and she had to try her best to don't scream when her friend slid two of her fingers inside of her.

Right when she was about to come, they heard a knock at the door. She put on a t-shirt and tried to calm herself before opening the door. Her mom was standing there, with a worried look on her face. "What's wrong?" Emily asked.

"I thought I heard a scream, and I was afraid you had got hurt or something… Are you okay?"

"Yeah, it was just that I stepped onto the bed and got my foot hurt, but don't worry, I'm fine." Emily said with her best smile.

Pam kissed her daughter's cheek and went back to bed. When Emily turned around, a relieved smile on her face, thinking about resume what they were doing, she found Spencer sleeping in her bed. She couldn't but smile and looking at her flawless friend she decided she would have to try to sleep. She sat on her bed, slowly, trying not to awake Spencer. When she lied down herself, she realized how much she loved her friend's perfume. She smiled to herself, forgetting about her previous arousal and the fact that her mom interrupted them when they were having sex, and moved to look at Spencer's face. When she was about to get asleep, she felt the girls arm hugging her, and she felt how a warm wave went through her body. She closed her eyes and fell instantly asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5.**

When she woke up, Spencer remembered how she had fallen asleep the previous night in the middle of something. After struggling trying to adapting her eyes to the light in the room, she found herself staring at Emily's back. She had those both strong and sexy shoulders, from swimming all her life, which made Spencer realize she was looking at her friend with new eyes. She couldn't tell when she first realized she could be in love with one of her best friends, she couldn't even tell if she was really in love with her. She always thought that she was straight, even if sometimes she thought about women in a sexual way, but she always thought it was just a teenager curiosity. Now, she suddenly felt afraid, because she was sure she loved her friend, but maybe only as that, a friend. She could be playing with her friend's heart, and that made her realize what kind of filthy monster she had become with the time.

She could remember how Alison used to tease Emily about her sexual orientation, and how she always wanted to punch her in the face to make her shut up. She also could remember how Alison used to laugh at her because she was "too skinny". Right now, she only wished Alison were alive, so they could leave her alone and without friends, as payment for all the nasty things she had said and did to them. Of course, she didn't hate Alison, she was too good to hate her, but she knew everything would have been a lot easier if they had abandoned her long time before her death.

She stared back at Emily, and smiled. She always thought that if one day she had to kiss one of her friends it would be Hanna. She loved the three of them, but she just thought it would be the blonde. Aria was always like her little and tiny sister, they were "Team Sparia", and Emily was just too sweet for her. Hanna, on the other hand, was so funny and outgoing and open minded…

But at that moment she just felt like kissing Emily was right. It wasn't like any kiss she had before, it was like biting a sweet cake in a beautiful, rainy afternoon. She loved how their eyes fitted perfectly. Emily's mouth was like a warm cavern where she could always go and forget about everything around her. She knew she couldn't hurt Emily, and that scared her because she was the kind of person who always hurts people around her unintentionally.

Spencer moved her hands along Emily's back, while leaning forward to kiss her shoulders. Emily moved, and opened her eyes. "Were you looking at me?"

Spencer's face went red, and she said a quick "No!" that Emily knew was a yes. Before Emily could say anything, Spencer pressed her lips to Emily's. Her friend widened her eyes in surprise, but she just let her do. Spencer bit on Emily's low lip, trying to make her open her mouth. Emily didn't want to get her friend impatient, so she just kissed her passionately, their tongues fighting for domination. They rolled on Emily's bed without separating their lips.

When a few minutes later Pam asked Emily and Spencer to go down to have breakfast, they took a break and smiled while staring in each other's eyes. They giggled and decided to get dressed to have breakfast.

Before they opened the door, Emily said "You owe me a big one, Spence."

Spencer frowned and looked at her friend. "Can I know why?"

"Oh, don't pretend like you don't know anything, lazy bones! You fell asleep in the middle of something big!"

Spencer laughed saying "It's not my fault if your mom cut it short, dear." With that, she went to the kitchen and started talking to Pam about school and all that things.

Emily laughed too and followed her.

Only two hours later, Hanna texted Spencer asking her to hang out with her. They would be meeting at Spencer's in half an hour, so she went for a shower and got ready so fast she even had time to send Emily an "I miss you" text.

Spencer was making some coffee when Hanna and Aria entered her kitchen. "I thought we were hanging alone" Spencer said with a worried tone "Is everything ok?"

"Of course everything is ok, only that you are so silly you believed me." Hanna said with a funny smile.

"Hanna, don't be so rude!" Aria added.

"What is this all about?" Spencer asked, getting angry with her friends' strange behavior.

"This is about you and Emily." Hanna said, still with her funny smile.

"What about Emile and me?"

"Spence, listen… We are not stupid, and we are your friends." Aria said softly.

"Yeah, we are not stupid, but it seems like you think so" Hanna added, this time sounding a little angry. "I am sick of this, you act like you are happy with Toby and A doesn't exist, even if that bitch gave Ali's body back in the middle of a high school party, but we know it isn't true."

"Do you want me to cry all day, Hanna?" Spencer asked in a very angry tone.

"No, but we all know you kissed Emily and Toby doesn't know."

"Hanna!" Aria looked at her friend with horror.

"No, she's right, Aria. I didn't tell Toby because he is my boyfriend and I'm the one who decides whether to tell him or not, and I decided not to tell him." Spencer was getting angrier and angrier with the time.

"This is not about Toby, this is about Emily! She has a girlfriend, and you're supposed to be straight! You are going to break her heart, and then we won't be friends anymore and everything will come back to how it used to be before Ali disappeared, and I don't have Mona anymore, so I'll be totally alone eating all day and Caleb will break up with me because I'll get too fat and…" Hanna burst in tears, and both Aria and Spencer looked at her with their mouths wide open.

"Oh, Hanna… You will never be alone, I will always be here for you…" Spencer leaned forward to hug her and Aria joined them with a released smile, because they wouldn't fight anymore.

The three of them went to the mall and had a nice time trying on clothes, avoiding mentioning Emily or the kiss. While Spencer was trying on some ridiculously expensive jeans, her phone started ringing. Since she was busy with the clothes, she asked Hanna to catch it. Before she could say she wasn't Spencer, Emily said with a sexy voice "Hey, Spence, I think you left here something wet that looks like your panties."

"What?" Hanna asked being unable to believe what she had just heard.

"Hanna! Oh God, I called you by mistake?"

"No, you called Spencer, but she's trying some clothes right now." Hanna couldn't believe her sweet friend was really a nasty girl.

"Oh God, Spencer? I wanted to call Paige!" Emily said too quickly to make it sound like a proper lie.

"Emily, you said Spence, not Paige…" Hanna tried to sound serious, but she was feeling like a super detective "I think you two have something to tell us…"

Emily hang and Hanna looked at the phone with a worried look. What if Emily was angry at her or something for knowing? It seemed like it was supposed to be a secret.

Spencer walked out the store with her new jeans, and Hanna looked at her, waiting for Aria to join them. When the three were together, Hanna casually said "It was Emily who called you, she wanted to say that you left your wet panties in her house."

Spencer turned around to hide her red face and murmured "She must have commit a mistake."

Aria couldn't believe anything, and Hanna added "I don't think so, she said your name."

Spencer opened her mouth and stared at Hanna's face for a long time.

**A/N Yesterday I couldn't upload anything, so I tried to make this a longer chapter. I'll try to make my next chapters longer, but since I won't have many time maybe I think I won't be able to write a lot. Anyway, thank you for reading, I would love to know your opinion, and remember I'm open to suggestions.**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N I just wanna thank you for your reviews, and tell you that I love knowing your opinion.**

**Specially, thank you anon for telling me about my mistakes, I corrected them, and I promise I will try to pay more attention while writing, but sometimes it's hard because I have too much things in my head and when I start writing them I feel like if I don't hurry up I'll forget what I wanna say.**

**I hope you enjoy this new chapter, because I totally loved writing it. Don't forget to let me know your opinion :)**

**Chapter 6.**

Spencer looked at Toby's face, still remembering how Hanna and Aria got angry with her, just because she couldn't say she loved Emily out loud. It wasn't about if she loved Emily or not, it was about her friends worrying about Spencer hurting her. But what about Spencer? She felt how her heart broke, by hearing her friends didn't care at all about her feelings.

Toby tried to kiss her, but she just turned her face. His lips ended kissing her check, and he asked "Is everything ok?"

Spencer couldn't tell him the truth, since she promised it to Emily, but she felt dirty kissing him. She knew she was playing with his heart, and it wasn't right. "Yes, it's just that I'm tired."

Toby put his hands on his girlfriend's shoulders, and looking into her eyes asked "Is there someone else?"

Spencer's heart pounded fast, while she whispered "No…" loud enough for him to hear it.

Toby's eyes were full of anger, when he said, almost shouting, "I don't believe you, Spencer."

He turned around and walked towards the door, leaving her crying in her house's kitchen. She knew it was the best thing, she should make him break up with her, so she wouldn't be the bitch who broke his heart by cheating on him with her best friend. But she was, she was that bitch, and she knew it. She loved the way he hugged her, and the way he always was taking care of her. She couldn't forget that, but she also couldn't forget the taste of Emily's lips. She was so concentrated in her own thoughts, she didn't hear her phone beeping. When a few minutes later she looked at it, she saw she had a new text. Blocked ID. Of course, A had to mess with her in her weakest moment.

"It seems like your boyfriend is not happy with you messing around with your best friend, Spence. You have become such a bitch, and I am proud of you, but I think I may want to tell someone. –A"

Spencer was so scared she forgot she was angry with her friends, and called Hanna.

In only ten minutes, Hanna and Aria were there with her, trying to call their friend down.

"We should call Emily" Aria said with a low voice.

"No, she doesn't need to know" Spencer answered with a look that said she didn't want to deal with Emily's tears.

Hanna looked at her friend with a worried face, and without saying anything she moved forward and hugged Spencer.

"Toby was here telling me he thought there was someone else, and when he left A sent me that text. What she was here listening to us? Or what if he has something to do with this?"

"What do you mean, Spence?" Aria couldn't believe her friends words.

"I mean that this is too weird!" Spencer shouted. "I really trust Toby, but the boy who today argued with me wasn't the boy who's always telling me he loves me. He was so angry, and he didn't seem to know anything. What if he sent me that text, because he's scared of losing me or something?"

Hanna and Aria looked at her in disbelieve. They looked at each other with worry all over their faces. "You shouldn't say that, we all know Toby loves you," Aria said with her sweetest voice.

"Toby is not Ezra, Aria. Ali hurt him, A hurt him and now I'm hurting him."

"Spencer!" Hanna tried to interrupt her friend, fearing this could end in another fight between them.

"No, let her continue," Aria said, obviously getting angry. "Maybe she doesn't remember how A tried to ruin my relationship with Ezra."

"That's exactly what I mean! A tried to hurt you, but Ezra never had to deal with her."

"A almost killed me! If that's not deal with A, then I don't know what it is."

"You both shut the hell up now!" Hanna shouted slamming her hands on the counter.

Both Aria and Spencer looked at Hanna as if she was crazy.

"Oh, don't look at me like that!"

"Sorry Han, you're right." Spencer said with a truly sorry voice. Then she turned to face Aria, "We shouldn't be fighting, we are friends."

"You're right…" Aria answered. "What do you say about calling Emily? We don't have to tell her about the text or anything."

"I'll call her, but only if you promise to act like you don't know about us," Spencer tried to make sure her friend wouldn't be uncomfortable.

When Emily arrived at Spencer's, she felt how her friends turned to face her, Hanna and Aria with a huge smile on their faces. Lately, she'd been too busy with swimming to see her friends, so she was glad they had called her. They hugged each other, and then started walking to Spencer's bedroom.

When the others started going upstairs, Spencer took her hand and kissed her lips passionately. Before she could say anything, her friend ran to her bedroom and left her there, touching her lips while smiling. A few seconds later, she followed her friends.

It was getting late, and they decided to sleep with Spencer, since her parents were in Philly with Melissa and she was a little scared. They ordered some food and Hanna started searching between Spencer's DVDs to find a movie to watch.

In the middle of the movie, Emily's phone beeped. "Spencer!"

"What?" Spencer started to worry, thinking A could have threatened Emily or something.

"I need your phone charger," Emily said with a smile.

Spencer, Hanna and Aria sighed in relieve. "Okay…" Spencer said while searching for the charger.

The time passed so fast, and two hours later both Hanna and Aria were sleeping in the floor. Quietly, Emily moved to Spencer's bed, and stared in her eyes for a long while. Slowly, they kissed each other. It wasn't a passionate kiss, like the others. It was a kiss full of love, and both of them could feel it. Emily moved to be nearer Spencer's body, and slowly started to move her hands towards her. Spencer hugged her friend and stopped the kiss.

"Emily, there's something I need to tell you." She whispered, trying not to wake up her friends.

"You know you can tell me anything, Spence." Emily said with a genuine smile.

"I love you, Em, and I wanna tell you that I'm breaking with Toby." Spencer couldn't stop the tears from falling from her eyes, but she kept talking. "I'm breaking with him because I love you, and you are the only one I wanna kiss. I can't think about sharing my life with anyone but you, and I understand if you don't wanna break up with Paige, because I love you and I only want you to be happy."

Emily smiled to herself, thinking about how lucky she was. Spencer was the most beautiful girl she'd ever seen, and she loved her. "I love you too, Spence, but I think we can talk about this later." With that, Emily moved her hands under the sheets and started touching Spencer's thighs. She could feel her friend's wetness, and she kissed her fiercely while roughly thrusting two fingers inside of her, pumping them a little too fast. Spencer moaned in pleasure and Emily had to put her free hand on her mouth to keep her quiet. She started rubbing her friend's clit with her thumb while pumping on her. She felt her walls tightening, and she smiled while seeing how Spencer had to try her best to stay quiet.

Emily kissed Spencer lips, and said "I love you that much." She smiled, and when Spencer tried to touch her, she added "I think we should sleep, but I think I should have told you that I'm breaking with Paige as soon as possible."

"Yes, we all want to sleep, girls!" Hanna said with an angry tone, while Aria giggled.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7.**

Next morning, Spencer woke up to see Emily's arms had held her tight all night. She looked to the floor, and saw neither Hanna nor Aria was there. Slowly, she turned to face her friend, and stared deeply into her face for a while. It wasn't like it was the first time they shared a bed, they've been friends since always, but Spencer couldn't forget about the previous night. Emily had been so gentle with her, only wanting to make her feel loved and sexy. Spencer knew for sure she was in love with Emily, but she was scared things were going too fast, she was scared they could get tired of each other, and at the end of the story their hearts would be totally broken and they wouldn't be friends anymore. She was so scared that could even happen that she always had to close her eyes and try her best not to cry while thinking about it.

Spencer's life has never been easy. She had to deal with too many family problems, and sometimes she felt so weak she even needed to write her feelings down on a diary. She never was the kind of girl who easily opens up to people, and it was hard for her to talk about them, even to her best friends. She told Emily she loved her, and she was scared to death. She loved and trusted her, but she always had that fear that someone would come and break her heart into pieces, and then no one would be there to help her. Of course no one would be there for her, because she's always been that stubborn, proud and competitive girl. No one has ever loved her, she's always been waiting for her friends to left her. Even now, after hearing Emily say that she truly loved her, she couldn't believe it at all.

Emily opened her eyes to find her best friend looking at her face, but she could tell she wasn't seeing her. Before she could realize she was awake, she leaned and put her lips on Spencer's.

"Good morning, love."

Spencer's heart jumped at the sound of the word on Emily's lips. She was so sweet. "Em, we need to talk…"

Emily worried, thinking about what her friend could want to talk to her about. "Sure…"

"Em, this is going too fast. I don't want this to be just about sex, I want to show you my feelings first. I want to be your girlfriend, and I want you to be mine. Only mine. I want to look at you and see that I'm the only one in your heart, and I want you to look into my eyes and see that I couldn't love anyone more than I love you. I want us to be girlfriends for a while, and go out on dates and be able to show everyone how much we love each other. I even want us to get married, one day, and have kids and live happily ever after. I want our life to be the best fairy tale to tell our children. Because I love you that much, and I can't imagine my life without you. But the only thing I want is for you to be happy, even if it's with Paige and not with me."

Spencer breathed deeply, getting ready to continue her speech, when Emily kissed her. It was something new for them, it was like an innocent kiss between two little children. They stayed like that for a short time, with their lips locked, but for them it felt like an entire life. Emily separated her lips and looked into Spencer's eyes. She struggled to find something to answer to Spencer's long declaration of love, and finally she whispered "I won't hurt you, I promise. I love you, and you are everything that I want in my life. If I could, I would write a song about you, so you could go to school while hearing how much I love you, played on the radio. I love you that much, Spence. I want us to belong to each other, and I will do everything to achieve it. I love you." Not knowing anymore to say, she leaned forward and locked their lips.

On the other side of the door, Hanna and Aria looked at each other, tears falling from their eyes. They've never been that happy for her best friends, they were made for each other. With that long speech, Spencer made Hanna forget about the previous night, when she got angry because they were having sex with them on the room. It was hard to stay mad while hearing all those beautiful words being said by someone like Spencer. They've always feared that her friend wouldn't find someone to open her heart to, and they thought that one was Toby, but right now they just felt glad it was Emily. Before their friends could see them, they headed downstairs and started making breakfast.

A few minutes later, both Emily and Spencer appeared in the kitchen, serious looks on their faces. Aria looked at Hanna, asking with her eyes if anything could have gone wrong up there.

"Girls, we have something to tell you." Emily started.

"Shall we sit?" Hanna asked with a concerned look.

"It's not a sad thing, at least I hope so…" Spencer said with a shy smile.

"Oh God, Spence, can you tell us and stop teasing?" Aria asked with a little too rude tone.

"Aria, we all know you miss having hot sex with your English teacher, but relax, please!" Hanna said with a funny smirk. Aria looked at her with angry eyes. It was funny how someone so small could look that angry.

"Girls, relax, we just wanna tell you that we are going to be girlfriends, but we are just waiting for the right time to break up with our actual girlfriend and boyfriend." Emily said before their friends could start fighting.

"We are taking things slowly, we don't want this to be about sex, so first we'll break up with them and start again. We just wanted to tell you, because you're our friends." Spencer added, getting back to her serious face.

"And I wanna tell you something more." Emily said, getting a worried look from Spencer, "I'm sorry about yesterday night, it was all my fault, and I shouldn't have done that with you sleeping in the floor, next to us."

Aria smiled at her and went to hug her friends. "It's ok, don't worry."

"No, it's not ok!" Hanna said, making all of them turn to face her. "You are such a dirty girl, Emily, and you deserve a punishment for it." She finally said with a devil laugh.

"Spence…" Emily looked at her future girlfriend with a pout and her best puppy eyes.

"I'm so sorry, but Hanna's right…" Spencer answered trying to avoid her look.

"I hate you all, guys!" Emily shouted, leaving the house.

Aria, Hanna and Spencer followed her, laughing all the way to the pool. Since Spencer's family was the richest family in Rosewood, they had an enormous pool in their back yard. Emily loved to go swimming there, because she could do two of her favorite things: she could swim and she could look at Spencer only wearing a bikini. She had that perfect body every Rosewood girl wanted, even if Alison used to say she was too skinny. She was perfect, with and without clothes. And the best part of it was that she was going to be hers, only hers.

Spencer hugged her, and Hanna sighed, "It's ok it you don't want to be punished, I forgive you for being such a nasty girl and do all those things with Aria and me there, hearing everything."

"Hanna, please!" Emily said, tears coming to her eyes. She'd always been the sweetest of them, and they felt like they had to protect her as if she were made of glass.

Hanna closed her eyes and leaned to hug Emily, but her friend just laughed and threw her into the pool. When she opened her eyes, she started shouting at Emily. "Emily! Are you crazy or what? My clothes! I hate you! Run, because I'm gonna kick your lesbian ass 'til you beg for being forgiven!"

Emily laughed and started running towards the house, Hanna following her.

"They're going to mess your perfect home, Spence." Aria said with a smile.

"I don't care, they are just so cute…" Spencer answered lost in her thoughts.

"You love her, don't you?" Aria asked, looking at her friend's eyes.

"Of course I do, I wouldn't play with her like this!" Spencer felt a little offended by the question.

"I'm sorry, I just wanted to know… I just hope things go well with Toby and Paige."

"I hope it too, I don't want anyone to tear us apart."

Right after Spencer said that, her phone beeped in her jean's pocket. She had a new text. She looked at Aria, and her friend looked at the phone with her. They opened the message, to see it was from a blocked ID.

"I hope you guys are having fun, because Toby and Paige are doing what they do the best: being cheated at. –A"

Spencer looked at Aria, fear all over her face. Her friend hugged her, and let her know her opinion, "We should tell Em."

"Yes…" Spencer's heart stopped at the thought of telling Emily about the text, but she knew she had to.

They went to her friends, and asked them to stop playing and sit down for a while. Spencer found herself speechless, and Aria saw that. Trying to help her best friend, Aria took a step towards the girls and said "Spencer got a text from A, talking about Toby and Paige."

Emily's face went white, and she just whispered a "No…"

Hanna hugged her, and Spencer turned around, not being able to look at her friend's face.

"Spencer, this doesn't change anything, I still love you." Emily said suddenly hugging her back.

Spencer smiled and softly kissed her love's cheek. Before Spencer could said anything, even an "I love you too", Emily ran to the front door, saying "I'm talking to Paige now, I don't want A to hurt her more than I'll hurt her now."

Both Hanna and Aria hugged Spencer, standing like that for a long while.

**A/N Chapter 7 ends here, but please let me know if you would like to read something more about this story. I think this chapter is a little longer than the others are, and I promise I'll try to make all my future things longer. Thank you for reading. Please, leave your opinion, and remember I'm open to suggestions. Maybe I'll be able to make Emily and Paige break up on the next chapter, but you'll have to wait to know :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8.**

After leaving Spencer's house, Emily ran towards Paige's house. Only a few seconds later, she realized that she didn't know what to do. She thought about it, and it made her want to cry. She had lost Maya not so long ago, and now she was going to lose Paige, because of a feeling she never thought she could have. Spencer was the best girl she'd ever met, she was everything Emily always wanted to be. She was skinny, perfectly beautiful, her hair was so beautifully brunet. She was also intelligent, funny, caring, cute, lovely and the best friend someone could dream of. And, the best thing about her, she loved Emily. How could someone as perfect as Spencer Hastings love someone like Emily Fields? Emily was living a dream, and she didn't want to think too much about it, because she was still afraid of waking up at any moment.

A car stopped near her, and she suddenly realized that she was crying in the middle of the street, while A could be laughing at her somewhere not so far. She decided that she wouldn't give that bitch the pleasure of seeing how broken she was, so she resumed walking towards Paige's.

She thought about what she could say. She didn't know why, but she was sure that she still loved Paige and she didn't want to hurt her. The problem was that when she only was sure about her feelings when she was with Spencer, and right now she couldn't tell if she only loved Paige as a friend. How was she even supposed to break her actual girlfriend heart if she couldn't think about what she was going to say?

Before she couldn't even realize, she was in front of Paige's door. She was going to knock, but suddenly someone opened the door, and Emily's face frowned at the view of a very hot girl standing there, with a huge smile on her face.

"Kate, where are you going?" Paige called from somewhere inside the house, with a playful tone.

"I was going to the backyard, but it seems like you have a visitor." Kate answered.

Paige appeared in the view, and her face went white when she saw Emily. "Emily.." She said, with a shy tone.

"Paige, what is this about?" Emily found herself being jealous, and she couldn't stop asking "Who is this girl?"

"Emily, this is Kate. She's… She's a friend."

Kate laughed and looked at her adding "I would say a very intimate friend."

"Paige, I'm going to ask this once, and only once." Emily said with her angriest voice. "Where you cheating at me with this bitch?" Emily realized she was angry because her girlfriend had done what she had been doing for a few days.

"No, Em… It's not what you think… We were only talking…" Paige said, obviously lying.

Kate looked worried at Emily, and then at Paige, only being able to imagine what was going on there. Suddenly, she asked angrily "Wait, you were girlfriends?"

"Yes, we were, but we are not anymore." Emily answered even more angrily.

"Ok, I'm going, and don't you dare to call me, Paige." Kate said while leaving the house.

"Em, please, don't go." Paige cried. "I love you, you are the only one for me, this was a mistake… Can we start it all over again, please? I promise you won't regret it."

"I came here to break up with you, so this just made everything a lot easier. I'm so sorry because we won't be friends after this thing, but I don't care, because I love someone else now. I wasn't sure at all, I came here worried about what I was going to tell you, and I find you with other girl, and probably you just had sex or you were about to have it, so I'll just say thank you. Thank you, because I thought I loved you. Thank you, because I thought I was going to break your heart, and that would have broken mine. Thank you, for making this a lot easier. I don't love you anymore, and this is the last time we talk, and I don't care if you like it or not."

Paige looked at her astonished. Was Emily telling her that they were over? "No, Em, wait, you can't leave me, not like this."

"I am leaving you, Paige." Emily said with a sad look. "See you on Monday tomorrow."

"Who is she?" Paige asked just when Emily was turning around.

"Spencer." Emily said, and started walking away.

"What? There's no way you cheated on me with your best friend! Who do you think you are? You came here and started to say I'm a bitch because I was with a girl I don't even know, but you were doing the same. You've been doing the same for a long time, hadn't you? And you've been doing it with one of your best friends! Spencer Hastings! The girl who thought I was A! Oh God, you deserve everything that had happened to you. You really deserve having someone like A stalking on you, because you are the worst kind of person I've ever had the misfortune to meet. You and Spencer are the worst kind of bitch ever. I see why Alison was your friend, you are like her, and you should be with that bitch. You two should be dead!"

Emily had listened to every single thing Paige had shouted her, trying to walk away without turning back, but when she hear Ali's name she turned around and ran towards Paige. She slapped her ex's face, and said "If you don't want me to do it for you, you better shut up."

Paige frightened at the view of such an angry Emily. She'd never seen her, and she was scared. She'd been in love with the sweetest girl in Rosewood, so who the hell was this girl standing in front of her? She moved her hand to her face, and drinking her tears she went inside her home.

Emily sighed in relief, and started walking towards her true girlfriend's house. She was sad, but she knew she had done the best thing she could have done.

When she arrived at Spencer's, they hugged and stayed like that for a long while, 'til Aria appeared and asked "How was it?"

"Are you ok?" Hanna added worried, before Emily could say anything.

"Yes, I'm ok." Emily said with a sincere smile. "She was cheating on me, and everything is over now, but I don't want to talk about it."

Spencer and Hanna were going to ask something more, but Aria stopped them by saying "We understand, Emily. You wanna watch a movie or something?"

**A/N I know this is an even shorter chapter, but I have too many exams and too many stress. I'm even losing my hair, so I have no time for writing too much. Next week, I promise I'll have time to write some long chapters. Please, review if you read, and let me know your opinion. Thanks :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N Well, here's chapter 9. It's slightly longer than usual, and I think it contains what I see as my first true M scene, so I hope you like it. Since English is not my first language, I hope you understand that there may be some mistakes, but if I see them I always fix them ASAP. I finally finished my exams, and I have to say that I'm so happy with my marks (they look like Spencer's marks).**

**Thank you for your reviews, I love to know your opinion. And I want to say an especial thank you to jrzygurl89, I hope you had a happy Thanksgiving, and thanks for wishing them to me (even if here we don't celebrate it). I love knowing that you enjoy my story.**

**Remember that I'm open to suggestions. Enjoy the chapter :)**

**Chapter 9.**

It had been a week since Emily left Paige, and she still had to keep her relationship with Spencer as a secret. She couldn't understand why Spencer couldn't tell Toby after 7 whole days, and it was slowly killing her. Of course, she hadn't told her friend how she was feeling about having to be a secret, but she felt like Spencer didn't love her enough.

On the other hand, Spencer Hastings couldn't stop thinking about how to tell Toby that she was in love with one of her best friends. She had tried, she tried to tell him at least for times in the past week, but she just couldn't. She felt guilty. She felt guilty because she was cheating on him, because she didn't love him anymore and because he was also Emily's friend. She thought that she hadn't the right to break his heart after everything he's been through to be with her, but she knew she had to do it if she didn't want to lose Emily forever.

Spencer cried, while writing down everything she needed to tell Toby. He was his boyfriend, and he deserved to know the truth. After thinking about it for a very long while, she decided that if she wasn't going to have the guts to tell him in his face, at least she would write him a letter. It has always been her thing, putting a bunch of words together and making them be the right thing to say. She'd always had an A on everything, so she would write the letter that Toby deserved. Suddenly, she realized this wasn't a lame homework paper from school. She didn't know what to write, she needed help. Spencer Hastings needed help. She had to call someone, and she knew who to call.

"Aria? I need your help."

"Miss Hastings asking for help?" Aria sounded funny at the other end of the line.

"Aria, this isn't funny. I need your help to break up with Toby." Spencer answered angrily.

"To break up with Toby?" Aria was confused, shouldn't her friend had asked Hanna? She wasn't the best one at this kind of things. Truthfully, the only thing she was the better at was at lying. Maybe that was the reason why she loved literature so much, because it's just a big lie to cover up the writer feelings.

"Yes, I was thinking about writing him a letter, and since you're good at writing I thought that maybe you could somehow help me… But if you don't want to it's ok, don't worry…"

"Of course I'll help you, don't worry. Do you need me to go to your house or you just need some advice?" Aria tried to make her voice sound nice, even if she couldn't understand why it took her friend a whole week to decide to break up with her boyfriend.

"Only some advice, please…" Spencer said thankfully.

"Ok, listen carefully and take notes, this may be the best lesson you'll ever get, Spence," Aria started jokingly, but she started to give her serious advices soon. "First of all, you should take notes. Do you love him? Does he love you? You shouldn't start writing about how much you love him, because it would only break him more, and maybe he wouldn't believe you at all. This is not a love letter. You just have to tell him the truth, without digressing about anything. You will always him, but only as a friend, if he can stand being friends with you after everything you shared. It is hard to be friends with someone you loved as something more, especially if you were loved back. Then, you should write about Emily and your feelings for her. Remember that they're friends, and you don't want him to be angry at her. He was everything for you, but now she is the one you love, and he must understand it, if he truly loves you. There's nothing much you can say… Well, maybe you should tell him that you don't regret anything, since you two had sex…" Aria finished her long speech, and took a deep breath. Worried about the silence on Spencer's side, she asked, "Spencer, are you still here?"

"Yeah, I am, don't worry…" Spencer sounded weird in a way Aria couldn't understand. "I'll call you later."

Spencer hung up, and Aria didn't know whether to get angry or worried. She decided to leave her friend some space, and went back to do her homework.

Only 20 minutes later, Spencer was reading her now finished letter to Toby. She was proud of her work, even if she had to ask Aria for help. She didn't understand why A hadn't told him yet, but she knew that she was being too lucky and that somehow she would have to pay for it in a future.

After reading the letter a million times, Spencer left her home and called her boyfriend. In less than 5 minutes, they were standing in front of each other. She handed him the letter and asked him to open it at home. Before he could ask anything, she kissed him and ran away. He tried to follow her, but he quickly understood that she didn't want him to.

When she was back in her room, Spencer called Aria to tell her. "I did it, it's finally over."

"Oh, Spence… Are you ok?" Aria couldn't hide the relieve in her voice, even if she tried to hide that she thought her friend should have done this days ago.

"Yes, I think I'm ok…" Spencer tried to explain how she was feeling after everything. "It's not like I wanna cry, I know I did the right thing. I love Emily."

"I'm glad you're happy, Spence." Aria smiled.

"Now, I can focus on enjoy my time with Emily, before this A bitch bothers us again." Spencer said sounding both happy and angry at the same time. Suddenly, she shouted, "Oh God, Aria!"

"What? Are you ok?" Aria shouted too.

"He was wearing a black hoodie!"

"Everyone has a black hoodie, Spencer, stop freaking out!" Aria couldn't believe her friend could really think Toby was A.

"No, I'm not freaking out, Aria!" Spencer cried. "A didn't tell him, but he seemed angry with me. He didn't say anything when I gave him the letter, probably because he already knew about it."

"Spencer, you have to stop this now." Aria said scared. She'd never seen Spencer freaking out like this, and it scared her so much.

"Well, maybe you're right and I'm just freaking out…" Spencer seemed to calm down for a while.

"You should tell Em that you finally are only hers, and have some alone time." Aria suggested.

"I guess you're right. See you tomorrow at school!"

"Have fun with your girlfriend, Hastings!" Aria teased before hanging up.

Spencer smiled, and went to the kitchen for some coffee while writing Emily a text. "I hope you have some free time, because there's no one at my house and we are officially girlfriends since now."

Emily didn't answered, but only 10 minutes later she was at the door, whit the biggest smile she'd ever had in her face.

When Spencer opened the door, Emily hurried in. She closed the door with her foot, and pushed her girlfriend against it. They kissed. Their lips stood together for a very long while, but Emily started biting on Spencer's low lip, and she opened her mouth.

Spencer tried to move, but Emily wouldn't let her. However, after a few seconds, she seemed to change her mind, and she led the brunette to the kitchen. Putting her hands on her girlfriend's hips, she made her sit on the counter. They started making out, while moving their hands under the other's shirt. Emily sucked on Spencer's neck, making sure of leaving a huge and very visible hickey. Spencer moaned and closed her eyes, throwing her head back. She couldn't wait anymore, so she whispered with a husky tone "Get naked, now."

Emily felt herself arousing, if she could do it even more, and followed her girlfriend instructions. Spencer jumped off the counter and got naked too. They stared into each other's bodies for a long time. Emily kissed Spencer, this time without any rush, and put her back on the counter. Spencer knew her parents could arrive at any time, but it only made her feel more aroused. Slowly, Emily kissed down Spencer's body, sucking at her hard nipples, but don't staying there too much. Spencer moaned, knowing that she was on the edge of something big, and they haven't really started. Emily sweetly kissed Spencer's thighs, moving towards her aching center. She slid a finger inside her girlfriend, but seeing how wet she was she soon was able to slid not two but three fingers inside of her. She started moving them, without moving her mouth too far away from her clit. "Harder, Em…" Spencer whispered.

"Harder what, love?" Emily asked teasing her girlfriend. Spencer looked at her, not being able to hide the pleasure all over her face, and Emily decided not to tease her. She started moving her fingers faster, 'til she heard Spencer scream her name. She kept moving them and biting on her clit, only stopping when Spencer took her face to kiss her.

Spencer tasted her own flavor on Emily's mouth, and she loved it. It just made the whole thing a lot hotter, and she decided to do something before returning the "favor". She took Emily's fingers, the ones that had been inside of her, and put them in her mouth, cleaning them. Emily widened her eyes, not being able to say anything.

When Spencer was going to change positions with Emily, they heard a car door closing outside the house. They took their clothes from the floor and ran to Spencer's room, getting dressed there. Spencer looked at Emily with sorry eyes.

"It's ok, it's not your fault." Emily smiled, knowing what was worrying her.

"I love you, Em, and that was totally amazing." Spencer hugged her girlfriend, trying to make her girlfriend understand how much she loved her.

"I love you too, Spence." Emily said, hugging her back.

They said good-bye, and Emily went home. She was so happy she could finally have Spencer only for herself, that she even forgot about every worry she could have. She went straight to take a cold shower when she arrived home, not being able to erase a huge smile from her face.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N Here's chapter 10, and I just wanna thank you for reading this :)**

**vampirerocker21****: To be honest I didn't think about it, but since Spencer's house is so huge maybe that kitchen can't smell of anything. Thanks for reviewing :)**

**Chapter 10.**

Next day, Spencer met Emily at school. She went to hug her, and Emily suddenly realized that they didn't talk about lots of important things, such as how to make their relationship public. What if Spencer wanted to stay in the closet? Emily knew that she had had problems with Paige not wanting to get out when they first tried something, but Spencer wasn't Paige. When they separated, Emily saw Hanna and Aria walking towards them.

"Bitch, you called Aria and not me?" Hanna asked looking at Spencer with a furious face.

Spencer didn't know what was that about, so she just stared at her friend.

"Oh, you don't know, do you? You called Aria to talk about your love problems, instead of me!" Hanna seemed to be angry, even if she knew she would have called Aria too.

"Hanna, don't get mad at me! I promise you'll be the first one to hear about my sex life." Spencer tried to make up for not calling her.

Emily blushed, and cried "Spencer! Don't you dare!"

Hanna and Aria looked at Emily, wondering if their friends had had a real sex life in the last days. "I would love to hear about your amazing sex life, Spence" Hanna answered winking at Emily, obviously not mad any more.

"Nice, I'll tell you about yesterday at lunch!" Spencer said before kissing Emily on the cheek and getting into her class. Emily looked at her astonished, and Aria had to take her hand to make her move to her class.

The morning passed, and Emily couldn't pay attention to her teachers, worried about Spencer telling anything about the previous afternoon. It wasn't like she didn't trust her friends, but she wasn't the kind of girl who tells that kind of things. She thought it was something private, only between Spencer and her. However, she understood that Hanna and Aria were their best friends, and that Spencer maybe wanted to talk about it with someone. She decided not to get angry and tried her best to smile when she met her friends at lunchtime.

They sat on their table, and Spencer started eating her salad. Aria and Emily proceed to eat their sandwiches, while Hanna stared at Spencer with anxious eyes. Spencer looked up at her friend's face and smiled, teasing her. "If you wanna know something, you better let me eat my salad."

Hanna pouted, and looked at Spencer trying to make her talk. Spencer laughed and finished eating without paying attention to her friend. After that, she went for a coffee and sat back on the table. Hanna looked like she was going to explode, so Spencer finally decided to talk.

"I think it's time to tell you, Han." Spencer said with a shy smile. Was she shy now, after teasing Hanna all morning?

"Thank you!" Hanna answered with an anxious tone.

"Em, is it ok if I tell her?" Spencer wanted to make sure her girlfriend wouldn't get angry about their conversation.

Emily didn't want Hanna to know about it, because she knew that she would tease her like forever, but she also knew that Spencer was dying for telling someone, so she just quietly nodded.

Spencer smiled, and started telling Hanna. "Well, I texted Emily to tell her that I'm only hers, and only like 10 minutes later she was at my front door. Since my parents weren't home, we went to the kitchen and she sat me on the counter. I'll just say that it was the most amazing thing I've ever been done, but sadly I couldn't return her the favor, 'cause my parents arrived home."

Hanna looked at her with her mouth while open, and Spencer wondered if she had gone too far telling her. Emily was almost hiding under the table, and Aria took her hand to comfort her.

"We ate in that kitchen, Spencer Jill Hastings!" Hanna shouted, making some other students turn around to see what was happening.

"Hanna!" Emily cried, seeing how people were looking at them. Paige walked in front of them, looking at Spencer with all the hate in the world. Everything has been like that since they broke up, and it was breaking Emily's heart, even if she knew that they wouldn't be friends after their argument. Spencer followed Emily's gaze and hugged her, knowing what she was thinking.

"I'm sorry, Em…" Hanna said, thinking that Emily's sad look was because of what she had said.

Aria changed the subject, trying to make her friends go back to normal. "So, are you two doing something after school, or can we go to the mall?"

"I think we need to talk before doing something." Emily answered.

Spencer, Aria and Hanna looked at her worried. "Who needs to talk?" Aria asked.

"Spencer and I, about us."

"What about us?" Spencer said, thinking about what could be Emily talking about. What if A had sent her something? Or what if she was angry? What would she do without Emily, now that she knew she loved her? Now that she had tried her kisses, now that she knew how it feels to be loved by her friend, she couldn't go back to being only friends.

"Things…" Emily answered, trying to think about the best way to say what was bothering her since they first kissed.

"Em, you are worrying me…" Spencer quickly said, ignoring both Hanna and Aria, who were looking at them without knowing what to do.

"You can't ask me to pretend that you are only my friend in front of everyone, I can't handle it." Emily said, avoiding Spencer's eyes. Before anyone could say anything, she added, "I mean, I know you may need some time to tell your parents, and I think I'm not even ready to tell my mom, but right now I'm dying for a kiss, and I know we can't kiss here because officially we are only friends."

Spencer smiled at her, and realizing that Emily was right, leaned forward and pressed her lips to her girlfriend's. After a few seconds, she went back to her original position, and found that almost everyone at school was looking at them. Hanna and Aria laughed, making people look at them even more. They stared at each other eyes, and Emily felt like everything would be okay as long as she were with Spencer.

They went back to class, after deciding that they would go to Hanna's after school. They would have dinner and watch a film, and then they would have a "happy sleepover", without talking about A. When they mentioned A, Spencer started thinking back about Toby and his black hoodie. She thought that he loved her, but she didn't know what to think about him anymore. Since he had pushed Noel in that train, on Halloween, she had spent a lot of time thinking about that violent side of him that she'd never seen before, and now that she had thought that he could be A she couldn't stop thinking about how much he hated Ali. However, she decided she wouldn't tell the girls 'til knowing something more, mostly because they would react like Aria did and think she was crazy.

When they arrived at Hanna's home, Ashley wasn't there. Hanna didn't know when was she supposed to come back home, so they decided not to drink. While they were waiting for their pizza to arrive, Spencer took Emily's hand and asked her to follow her with her eyes. Emily nodded, and they went upstairs, to Hanna's room.

"Don't do anything up there, you dirty girls!" Hanna shouted downstairs, while Aria looked at her trying to make her shut up.

"Emily, there's something I need to tell you." Spencer said, with a serious look.

Emily, knowing that she wasn't going to leave her right after kissing in public, took Spencer's face with her hands and made her look into her eyes. "You know you can tell me anything, Spence."

Spencer smiled, and taking Emily's hands from her face started talking. "First of all, I want you to wait 'til I finish talking to say anything, okay?" Emily nodded quietly, and Spencer resumed talking. "I want you to know what I said to Toby, because you are too important to me and I don't want to have any secrets between us. I told him that he's not the one anymore, that you are the only one for me now, and that you will be forever. I love you, and no one can change it. Tomorrow I'll go home and tell my parents, and then I'll go talk to your mom, and tell her how I feel about you. She'll understand, Emily. I love you, I love you with all my heart, and I couldn't live without you. I just want this to be perfect, so… Well, I think we should start it all over again; we should date each other for a while. No sex, only holding hands and kissing. I think that we should try to make things work, because I can't lose you."

Emily started crying and kissed Spencer, making her stop talking. They kissed for a while, a full of love kiss, and Emily pushed Spencer away. "I love you too, Spence, and I will do everything you want me to do to make this work."

"Let's go with the girls, then." Spencer smiled.

They went downstairs and sat with their friends. Hanna tried to make a joke about them spending so much time in her bedroom, but Aria elbowed her in the stomach, making her understand that something important had happened. They watched the movie, Spencer and Emily hugging in the coach, and went to Hanna's bedroom to talk.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 10.**

They spent the night talking about school, swimming, Mr. Fitz and Caleb. They avoided mention A, and the night brought some happiness back, even if they knew that their personal stalker was still out there, probably watching at the moment.

It had been a long day, and they started feeling tired. Also, they had school the next day, so they decided to go bed. Hanna sat in her bed, while Spencer went to the other one. Emily tried to go to her girlfriend, but Spencer said, "I'm sorry Em, but I think you should sleep with Hanna."

Both Aria and Hanna looked at her friend in disbelieve, thinking it was impossible that she had just refused to sleep with her girlfriend, but Emily nodded and went to Hanna's bed.

"Can we know why, Spencer?" asked Hanna with a worried look. She was afraid their friends broke up one day, because maybe they wouldn't be able to be best friends anymore.

"We are starting all over again, taking things slowly." Spencer answered, and thinking that she should explain it a little more, added, "It's not that there's something wrong, it's just that this is too important for us, and I want it to be perfect. I thought that we should start like a normal couple, and have some dates and all of that before sharing a bed."

Hanna laughed, while Emily looked out the window and Aria said, "You already had sex, now you can't pretend like it didn't happen… It will be a lot harder than you think, Spence."

Spencer hadn't obviously thought about that, because she realized that she was dying for having some alone time with Emily, and she knew that she wouldn't be able of taking her hands away from her body. She sighed, trying to convince her friends, and herself, that it wouldn't be hard to slow things between her and her girlfriend. "I know, and I think we share bed."

Aria understood that Spencer didn't want to talk much more about her decision, so she just lay in the bed and looked at the ceiling. Hanna and Emily lay on their bed too, and they tried to get asleep.

When the alarm sounded next morning, at 6 am, Spencer saw Aria was hugging her. She smiled, looking at how relaxed the smaller girl looked while she was sleeping. She was a little worried about her, especially since their parents still had some reservations about her relationship with Mr. Fitz, but everyone could see how much he cared about her, so Spencer was sure her friend would have her parents' entire approval anytime soon. At least that was what she hopped, because she couldn't think about him as Ezra if she didn't get to know him, and she was dying for it.

Aria opened her big, beautiful eyes and smiled at her. She moved, afraid of what Emily could think it she realized she'd been hugging her girlfriend all night. "Sorry", she whispered.

"It's okay, we are friends since always." Spencer smiled.

They started moving towards Hanna's bed, thinking about waking their friends up, when Spencer saw Emily's hand resting on one of Hanna's breasts. She knew she shouldn't worry, they were best friends and they were both asleep, but she couldn't forget the fact that Hanna's breast looked enormous while hers were like two tiny things there in her chest, almost invisibles.

Aria saw Emily's hand too, but she didn't know anything about Spencer's insecurities. She'd always been so proud, and she didn't use to talk about that kind of things with anyone. Fearing that her friend could be jealous, Aria looked at her seriously and said, "It's okay, they've been friends since always, at their sleeping."

Spencer smiled at her, and suddenly shouted, "Emily, you're such a nasty girl!"

Emily and Hanna opened their eyes, and Hanna jumped when she felt Emily's hand. "Emily, I'm not your girlfriend!"

Emily blushed, and tried to explain herself, not being able to find the proper words, "I… I was just… I'm so sorry, Hanna, I didn't mean to… I mean, I know you are not…"

Spencer laughed, and went to leave a lightly kiss on her girlfriend's lips. "Don't worry, love."

"Don't worry? She was touching me!" Hanna teased.

Aria looked at her trying to make her shut up, focusing on something more important. "Spencer, you called her love!"

Spencer blushed, realizing that she really called her love in front of her friends. Emily, seeing her girlfriend's reaction, quickly said "Because she loves me, of course."

Spencer hugged Emily, and she went for a shower. It was getting late, and Aria and Emily went to have some breakfast, since Hanna wouldn't eat anything so early. Spencer walked out the bathroom and Hanna went for her shower, leaving Spencer alone.

Spencer knew she should eat something, but she was used to only eat when she needed it. She always pretended to be okay with her body, and it wasn't like she thought she was fat or something like that, she'd never been fat. However, she hated looking at her reflection in mirrors, because she knew that the girl looking at her wasn't her. She looked happy, without worries, she was like a big lie. She was fit, and maybe too skinny, like Alison used to say, but it was only because she was always so stressed. Spencer knew this was something that worried Emily, the healthiest girl in Rosewood. Shaking her head, she decided to get dressed and drink some coffee, since Hanna was almost finished at the bathroom and Aria and Emily were heading back upstairs.

Once at school, each one went to her locker and walked to their classes. Emily couldn't stop thinking about Spencer, even if she knew that she needed to pay attention, and she couldn't wait 'til lunch to kiss her. When the bell finally rang, they met at their table and Emily pressed her lips against Spencer's. Spencer smiled, and pushed her girlfriend away. Emily frowned, obviously not liking it, and stared at her eyes.

"Emily, would you go on a date with me today, after school?" Spencer asked seriously.

Suddenly, they heard a girl's voice saying "You should bend to your knees, you don't look lame enough." They turned around and saw Paige was standing there, with a hateful look.

"I think the last time we talked I made it clear enough that I don't want you to bother us, Paige." Emily said, all of her sweetness fading away.

"Oh, maybe I should go before your girlfriend gets violent, Spencer." Paige added before leaving them alone.

Spencer looked at her girlfriend, suddenly realizing that she didn't know what had happened when she and Paige broke up, and asked carefully, "Emily, what was she talking about?"

Emily blushed, knowing that Spencer wouldn't like what she was going to say, so she said it as fast as she could, hoping she wouldn't understand. "I slapped her."

"Why?" Spencer asked, while widening her eyes.

"She said that I deserved having A as a stalker, and she added that Alison deserved being dead." Emily answered looking away.

Spencer knew she should hug her girlfriend and tell her that she didn't deserve A's stalk, but she only was able to whisper "You slapped her… Because she said something bad about Ali."

A tear fell from Emily's eyes, and the bell rang before she could say anything to her girlfriend. She turned and went to her next class, not knowing whether she was angry or sad. She loved Spencer, and she didn't love Alison since she met Maya, but she couldn't understand why Spencer was so jealous. Because she was jealous, wasn't she? She had always thought that jealousness was somewhat sexy, but at the moment the only thing she could think about was that there wouldn't be a date 'til Spencer came to her to apologize.

School ended, and Spencer waited for Emily at the door. Emily's face lit up a little, thinking that maybe she would have her date, but deep down she knew that Spencer was the kind of person who never ever says she's sorry. Spencer knew it too, but she knew that somehow she had to do something about what she had said. Hanna and Aria walked towards them, but when they saw her face they changed their direction. They hadn't been there when she said that, but it was obvious that something big had happened, and they didn't want to choose a side.

Emily approached her, and they stared into each other's eyes for a long while. Finally, Spencer opened her mouth, and tried to say something. "I… You know… I am… I, I am…"

Emily smiled, and knowing her girlfriend problem, she asked, "You mean that you are sorry for getting jealous over something stupid?"

Spencer nodded quietly, unable to say it out loud. "I love you, Emily."

Emily giggled and kissed her, at first sweetly, but soon they deepened the kiss. They didn't care about the fact that they were in the middle of the door. At that moment, it was only Emily, Spencer and their kiss. They felt like they could stand there for ages, kissing each other, lost in the other's mouth. Spencer moved her hands to Emily's head, and Emily left hers resting on her girlfriend's back. Someone coughed near them, and they realized they'd been kissing for too long. They threw their heads back and laughed happily.

Spencer took Emily's hand and led her to her car. She opened the passenger door for her, and Emily smiled thinking about how amazingly perfect her girlfriend was. She watched as Spencer walked to her sit, and before running the car engine, she put some music.

"I won't tell you where we are going to, it's a surprise, but I want you to pay attention to the songs I've chosen."

Emily smiled at her, and taking her hand she kissed her fingers before locking her seat belt.

Seeing that her girlfriend wasn't going to say anything, Spencer added, "In this first song, whenever she says something like guy or boy, you have to imagine she's saying girl."

"What song is it?"

"Yoü and I, by Lady Gaga… It explains more or less how I feel about you." Spencer answered, her face blushing a little.

"Would you really rather die without you and I?" Emily asked, listening carefully to the song.

"Yes, I would." Spencer said turning to look at her girlfriend's eyes.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N Here goes the date. It's a longer chapter, and it includes an M moment and lots of love. Since I didn't have a lot of first dates, I just wrote down everything that came to my mind, so I just hope you like it as much as I do, and please, let me know your opinion.**

**Chapter 12.**

Spencer stopped the car in front of a theater. It was like one of those theaters you always see on old movies, probably with red velvet carpets and wood chairs. Maybe was one of those places where you can't eat. Maybe they only played all movies, black and white movies. Emily realized then that maybe they were going to watch a very inspirational movie, like the ones Spencer loved, and she wouldn't understand anything because… Well, because she wasn't Spencer. She wasn't so intelligent, and she couldn't find interesting a film about politics, or something like that. At least, she hoped they could make out in that theater.

Emily jumped when Spencer opened her door and ran to help her getting out of the car. That was the instant when she realized that it didn't matter if she couldn't understand the film, because as long as she were with Spencer everything would be perfect.

"What are we going to see?" Emily tried to pump Spencer for some information.

Spencer smiled, and taking Emily's hand said, "I won't tell you anything… yet."

Emily sighed. She already knew she wasn't going to get an answer, but she was starting to get impatient. She knew that Spencer only wanted it to be the perfect first date, but her girlfriend's obsession with doing everything perfectly sometimes could drive her crazy.

It was freezing outside the car, that fall was being pretty cold. They had to walk a few meters to the theater's door, and Emily squeezed Spencer's hand at the beautiful sight they had in front of them. Brown leaves from the trees at each side of the street were all over the floor, looking like the perfect romantic movie cliché. Emily wondered if it meant that even the Earth wanted this date to be perfect.

Spencer smiled to herself when she felt Emily squeezing her hand. Of course, she had been waiting for the perfect fall afternoon to ask her girlfriend on a date. Everyone thought that Emily was the romantic one, but deep down Spencer was as romantic as her girlfriend, maybe even more.

When they reached the door, an old man opened it for them. He smiled at Spencer, greeting her with his deep voice. He looked pretty much like one of those Santa Claus on a typical winter movie: white hair and bear, big belly and a huge smile on his face. Emily imagined Spencer going there whenever she needed some alone time.

An old woman appeared from a dark room and hugged Spencer. She probably was the man's wife. She winked at them, and without saying anything, she led them to a room with a big screen and a few big, leather, comfortable sits. Emily opened her mouth, seeing how wrong she was when she imagined the inside of the theater.

Spencer took her hand and led her to the back of the room. There was space for twenty more people, but Emily knew that no one would enter that room. Spencer helped her taking her jacket off, and they sat.

"This is perfect, Spence." Emily whispered quietly.

Spencer decided not to answer, taking her girlfriend's hand and slowly kissing her fingers. She just wanted to use the afternoon to forget about everything, including A. Remembering that there was only one way of forgetting about A, Spencer asked, "Can you please turn your phone off? I don't want anyone to disturb us."

Emily doubted, worried about Spencer's reasons, "But what if my mom calls?"

"She knows you are with me, and she knows that nothing can happen to you when you are with me." Spencer smiled to her girlfriend, but when she saw the fear in her face, she quickly added, "I mean, I told her you'll be with me for a few hours, but I didn't tell her about us."

Emily sighed relieved, knowing that Spencer wouldn't do that to her. They sat looking at the screen, and the lights went off. Slowly, an old song started to play in the distance. Some black and white images appeared at the screen, and Emily smiled to herself. She knew it would be an old movie.

"What are we watching?"

"Lolita." Spencer answered, knowing that it was Alison's favorite book.

Emily knew it too, and she couldn't understand why they were watching that film right after their stupid fight about Ali. "Can I know why?"

"Because it was the longest film they had, and honestly I love Kubrick's work…"

Emily didn't know what was that supposed to mean. The longest film they had? So they weren't going to do anything after the movie?

Spencer saw Emily frowning, and moved her arm to hug her. "I chose this film because we would have two and a half hours to enjoy ourselves, and there will be a break."

Emily let her girlfriend hug her, and slowly let her head rest on Spencer's shoulder. She was the taller one, but she loved when she could rest her head on that comfortable shoulder. She felt how a warm wave shook her body. Was that love? She was pretty sure it was love, and she felt so happy she wanted to cry.

While Emily was resting her head on her shoulder, Spencer was too distracted to pay attention to a film she had seen thousands of times. She could feel Emily's warm breath against her neck, and it was driving her crazy. Slowly, she started caressing Emily's hair. She loved that long, dark hair. She had always thought that Emily could have become a hair model, even if the chlorine was supposed to damage it. But no, it looked perfect. Perfectly brilliant. She heard Emily sigh in pleasure, and that was the moment when she knew for sure that her idea of starting their relationship all over again couldn't fool anyone. She couldn't resist the girl sitting next to her, and she was only resting her head on her shoulder.

Emily knew for sure the effects of her head resting on Spencer's shoulder. She felt her girlfriend tensing at the feeling of her breath on her skin. After a few minutes pretending she was watching the film, she decided to do something about that crazy idea of going slow Spencer had. She turned her face, and left a long kiss on Spencer's neck. Spencer closed her eyes, and her hand stopped caressing Emily's hair. Emily bit on the skin she had just kissed, and traced the bounds with her tongue. She wanted to leave her mark on her girlfriend's skin, to make everyone know she had an owner. Emily owned her.

Spencer turned to press her lips against Emily's. They stayed like that, their lips locked, until Emily decided to deepen the kiss. Emily was the leader now, and Spencer loved it. Emily moved her tongue against Spencer's low lip, and they quickly opened their mouths. Their sweet kiss became a fight for domination between their tongues.

Their kiss was turning into something more sexual than it should be, considering that they were on a public place. Emily moved her hands to Spencer's shoulders, and carefully pushed her girlfriend away from her.

"We should stop, someone could see us…"

Spencer let out a quiet laugh, saying, "Don't worry Em, I bought all the entries. We are alone, and we'll be for a long, long while."

Emily smiled in relieve, and pressed their lips together again. They resumed their kiss, this time with much more confidence. They loved each other, and they knew no one would disturb them. Not even A.

Spencer started to move her hands towards Emily's shirt. She shivered at the feeling of Emily's soft skin under her fingers. They were totally making out on a public place, even if no one could go there, and it only made Spencer feel more aroused.

Emily knew how Spencer was feeling, and slowly moved her hand to her girlfriend's pants. Spencer moaned, and Emily whispered, "You are such a nasty girl, Spencer Hastings!"

Spencer laughed, looking at Emily's eyes. "Maybe, but I'm your nasty girl."

While she was busy saying that, Emily slid her hand inside her girlfriend clothes. Before Spencer could stop her, she had already thrusted two fingers inside of Spencer's wet core. Spencer cried, and closed her eyes in pleasure. Emily looked at her face, and they kissed while she kept moving her fingers. She wanted to see Spencer come, and kiss her, and tell her how much she loved her.

Emily felt Spencer's walls tighten around her fingers, and she leaned to kiss her. It would have been a lot easier if Spencer could stop trying to be as quiet as possibly while moaning and crying in pleasure.

They looked into each other's eyes, and Spencer smiled shyly, suddenly aware of what had happened. She blushed, but she kept her eyes locked with her girlfriend's when she said, "I love you, Emily Fields."

Emily smiled at her, and whispered, "I think it's time for the break."

They looked at the screen, just to see the film had stopped playing. They lights went on and they old woman from the entry appeared with two candles, while the man was pushing a table with two plates. Emily looked at Spencer, who nodded at her, and they both went downstairs to sit at the table. The woman squeezed Spencer's shoulder and said, "If you need us, you know how to call us, sweetie."

Emily stared at Spencer, and said, smiling, "This is perfect, Spencer."

"I'm glad to know you are enjoying this, since it took me a long while to make sure everything would be perfect enough for my perfect girlfriend."

"I'm not the perfect one in this relationship, Spencer." Emily smiled. "You are."

Spencer didn't say anything, she just kissed Emily's cheek and served some champagne on their glasses. Emily didn't remember seeing the bottle of champagne, but she smiled at Spencer's perfectionism.

Everything was going as planned, but in the middle of the dinner Spencer blurted out something she had been thinking since the couple appeared. "I think I should return your favor, but…"

Emily smiled at her, "But?"

"But we don't have as much time as I'd love to have… Also, we had an agreement…"

Emily frowned at the last comment, "I don't care if we don't have enough time, but what agreement are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about starting our relationship all over again and take things slowly, Em."

Emily laughed at the idea, and taking her girlfriend's hands between hers said, "I'm sorry, dear, but you are the only one who agreed on it."

Spencer couldn't but laugh at it, knowing that Emily was right. She didn't know how, but she loved her girlfriend so much that she didn't even care about not being right all the time. And that was something very unusual. But it was love, wasn't it? Yes, it was, it was true love.

They decided not to watch the rest of the film, since they were eating and chatting about their lives, but it was being played in the background, the lights still on. Suddenly, Emily said something that made Spencer smile, but she didn't know what had made her smile, "Are you laughing at me?"

"Oh, no! I was just smiled at the fact that you were talking at your future as our future, and I love it." Spencer said with an even bigger smile.

Emily loved the answer, but she teased her girlfriend anyway, "I hope so, because if you ever laugh at me I may decide not to repeat what I've done to you before."

Spencer blushed at the reference, and whispered, "I would never laugh at you."

"Because you love me or because you love the pleasure I give you?" Emily kept teasing her.

"Emily!" Spencer blushed even more. She wished the lights were off, so she could hide from her girlfriend's funny glare. She hated when people teased her, but Emily was… Well, she was just Emily, and she loved every single thing about her.

When the movie finally ended, Spencer took Emily's hand and led her out of the theater, without forgetting to hug the couple at the entry. It was raining. Raining and freezing. Could be anything more beautiful than autumn? It was Spencer's favorite season, and there was a reason for it. She led Emily to her car, and opened the door for her. Instead of getting in the car, Emily put her hands around Spencer's neck and kissed her passionately. Spencer opened her eyes surprised, but she kissed her girlfriend back. Under the rain, the door of the car open. They separated their lips, and Emily stared into Spencer's eyes. "I love you, and this date was the most perfect thing someone have ever done for me."

Spencer smiled, and quickly ran to her door. She started the car enginery, and Spencer put some music on, again. Emily had lost the count of how many love songs they had listened to, but she wanted to record all of them in her mind. Before they arrived at Emily's home, she felt asleep, too tired to keep her eyes opened. Spencer stared at her peaceful expression for almost all the time, not paying attention to the road.

When they arrived, Spencer carefully shook Emily's shoulder, trying to wake her up. Emily opened her eyes and said, "Sorry, I think I fell asleep."

"I know, but you looked so cute." Spencer smiled.

Emily kissed her softly, not wanting to start a heated make out session in front of her house. When she was trying to open the door, Spencer grabbed her arm, and she turned.

"Wait, I have something for you." Spencer said, with a shy voice. She had searched for it in almost every Rosewood shop, and she hoped Emily would like it.

Emily looked at her, her eyes wide open, and said, "You didn't have to buy me anything, Spence!"

"I know, but I wanted to give you something special, so you would remember our first date forever."

"As long as you are with me, I'll remember everything we do." Emily said with a look that showed all the love she had in her heart, ready to be given to Spencer.

Spencer reached for something behind Emily's seat, and suddenly she had a little box in her hand. She gave it to Emily, who took it suddenly aware of how serious their relationship would get with this. "Open it, please." Spencer encouraged her girlfriend.

Emily tried to control her hands from shivering while opening it, and she discovered a ring inside the box. But it wasn't an engagement ring, or something like that. It was two beautiful dolphins forming the perfect ring for a swimmer. It was made of white gold, and it was both the loveliest and most elegant Emily had ever seen. Like Spencer. She instantly loved it, and she let Spencer slide it in her finger. They kissed, trying to show how much they loved each other.

"I love you, Spencer Hastings." Emily smiled to her girlfriend.

"I love you too, Emily Fields." Answered Spencer, and kissing her girlfriend's nose she added, "Good night, love."

**A/N I just wanna say something that I forgot to tell you before: there will be some A on the next chapter.**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N 13, what a nice number. This chapter is a little short, but I don't have as time as I need, because I need rehearsing for a concert I'll have in a few days, so I just hope you like it.**

**Craycrayforshay****: Thank you for your review. I love romantic Spencer, and I totally love romanticism, so I just want her to be the perfect girlfriend I have in my mind. I was thinking about stop writing this, but since there's people (i.e. you) that seem to like this I think I'll keep writing for a while. Thank you, again :)**

**Chapter 13.**

_Spencer was looking at him. She'd been doing that for a long while. He took off his t-shirt, showing proudly his six-pack. He had those wonderful muscles that could drive any girl crazy. Or turn her straight. Emily saw the look in Spencer's eyes. Lust. Her eyes were screaming that she was ready to push him against a wall and rape him roughly. Toby ran to Spencer and kissed her, pressing his lips against hers. Emily wanted to scream. Stop it, please. His hands traveled through her body. Emily shouted. "She's mine, don't touch her." Someone started calling her name, but she couldn't do anything. She just wanted Toby to stop kissing Spencer. Because she was hers. Her girlfriend._

"Emily, wake up now!" Pam Fields was shaking her daughter's shoulder, tired of hearing her screaming in her dreams. She needed to talk to her. Something had happened, and she needed to have a proper answer.

"Mom?" Emily opened her eyes looking astonished at her mom. She couldn't remember the last time her mom had waked her up, but she was sure it was more than a few years ago. Something was wrong, she could feel it in the air.

"Emily, we need to talk."

Emily sighed. She knew it, her mother wouldn't wake her up so urgently if nothing was happening.

"Emily, were you yesterday with Spencer?"

Emily didn't understand the question, but she answered with the true. Or at least part of the true. "Yes, I went with her to the movies. I think she came here to talk to you about it."

"Yes, she was here, but she didn't mention that you were going to be totally alone."

Emily tried to hide her fear. Was her mother saying that she knew something? She had to sound convincing, she wasn't ready to tell her mom that soon. "I don't think it's something to mention, we've been alone a lot of times since always. We are best friends, mom."

Pam looked at her daughter, not being able to believe she was really lying to her. "Are you sure you are only best friends?"

Emily didn't know why was her mom asking all those questions, but she needed to sound convincing. "Why wouldn't I be sure? Do you think I'm stupid enough to make twice the same mistake?"

"I'm not talking about Alison, I'm talking about Spencer."

"It doesn't seem like that, with all these questions."

Pam opened her mouth at Emily's answer. Where was her little, sweet daughter? "Well, if you don't wanna talk, let's do something better. For example, I want you here right after your swimming practice."

"Can I at least know why?" Emily asked angrily, don't really wanting to start a big fight about this.

"Yes, of course." Pam was so hurt with her daughter's lies that she didn't tried to hide her true reasons to be so curious. "You won't see Spencer if you don't tell me what's going on, because I received a photo of you two that is pretty more explicit than the one I received from Maya and you."

Emily's face fell, her dark skin turning pale. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh, it looks like you know."

Pam left the room slamming the door, and went to the kitchen. Emily could feel how her heart was pounding way too fast. She was afraid. Afraid of losing Spencer; afraid of losing her mom. She searched for her phone to call Spencer, she needed to talk to her. When she finally found it, she saw she had a new text. Blocked ID, of course. She opened it, closing her eyes and getting ready for the worst. It was a picture of she and Spencer, kissing at the back of the theater in their super date. Her hand was inside of Spencer's tight jeans, everyone could see it. There was a text with it: "I hope your mama likes this nice photo of this sweet couple. Maybe she'll even frame it and put it on show on your living room. Remember I'm always watching, and I'll let everyone know how you really are: shy in the streets sexy, sexy in the sheets. -A"

Emily's heart jumped. Her mom had seen that. She wanted to cry, but she knew she had to talk to Spencer. She texted her the photo, adding A's message and saying that they needed to talk. She went to have a shower, still not ready to confront her mom.

Spencer called her again and again, but Emily didn't answer. She was still in the shower, but Spencer went crazy and ran to her car, speeding to her girlfriend's house. What if something happened to her? She wouldn't survive. She knocked at the door, and a not very happy to see her Pam Fields opened the door.

"Spencer, I think you should leave this house. Now."

Spencer was ready for this. She knew that A had texted Pam the photo, because that's what that bitch loved to do: screw everything. She knew what to say, and she looked at her girlfriend's mom eyes.

"I love her, Mrs. Fields."

"I don't care, she lied to me."

"I really love her, and you won't stop me from loving her."

"I think it's too early to say that."

Spencer smiled. Pam was as stubborn as her daughter was. Seeing that smiling wasn't a good thing, Spencer quickly replaced it with a serious expression. She needed to find the words to repair the damage Emily's lies had caused.

"Mrs. Fields, I'm not lying when I say that I love her. I love her with all my heart, and if you take her away from me I won't be able to live anymore. I'll die, because I love her, and now that I know how it feels to be loved by her I think I wouldn't survive without that. Without her love, her smile, her kisses, her hugs. Because she loves me back, and there's nothing better than knowing that."

"Spencer, stop." Pam looked frightened by the brunette's words. She couldn't let her daughter suffer again. "Please, leave."

Spencer stared at Pam's face, trying to find something that could let her know if her words had done her work. She had only said the truth, but it seemed like the woman didn't like it. A tear fell from her eye, and she turned back to her car. She needed to see Emily, but she knew Pam wouldn't let her see her girlfriend.

Her phone beeped, and she saw she had a text. It was from Emily. She opened it, ready to the worst. "I heard what you said to my mom, and just wanted to remind you that I love you too. I think I'll help you to don't forget about it today at school. Xoxo – E."

Spencer smiled, looking up to her girlfriend's room. She saw Emily standing there, in her window. She moved her hand to her face, slowly blowing a kiss and throwing it to her. Spencer moved her hand like she was trying to catch an invisible ball. But it wasn't a ball, it was a kiss. A kiss from her girlfriend. She knew she looked stupid, doing all those stupid things from boring movies, but she didn't care, because she was in love. Maybe that was what being in love was about, about being stupid.

She waved her hand and went into her car. Her phone beeped again, but this time it wasn't Emily. Blocked ID. A. "You look so lame doing this lovely paper, Spence. You look like Romeo and Juliet, but do you remember how the play ends? They die because of love. –A"


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N Here's chapter 14, so I hope you like it. I couldn't upload it before, but it's a little longer, so please don't get upset, it's just that I'm not in the mood to write about love or friendship right now, so I had to struggle a lot to do this. Anyway, there's an M scene here, so just enjoy and let me know your opinion. Please :)**

**Chapter 14.**

Emily parked her car at school and saw her friends waiting for her. She opened the door, and they ran to hug her. Spencer stood apart, looking sad while Hanna and Aria hugged her girlfriend tightly. Emily broke the hug right after a few comforting whispers, and walked towards Spencer. She left a light kiss on her lips, staring into her beautiful brown eyes, and said, "I love you, Miss Hastings, and it doesn't matter if the odds are against us."

Spencer smiled relieved. She had feared that Pam could have changed Emily's mind. Of course, she had been wrong. She was too stubborn to say it out loud, but she knew she wasn't always right. "What happened with your mom?"

"She thinks we are too attached to each other, and she doesn't want to see me broken." Emily took Spencer's hand between hers, to make it clear that she didn't fear that.

"Why would I break you?" Spencer couldn't believe that Pam was thinking about her that way, especially after opening her heart to her and telling how she felt about her daughter.

"She… she thinks that maybe we spend too many time together and… she thinks that maybe you are misunderstanding your feelings…" Emily lowered her eyes, obviously embarrassed of saying her mother's words. She had thought about it, and she knew that maybe her mother was right, but she also knew that Spencer wouldn't hurt her.

Spencer's face went red. "Does she really think that I'm playing with you?"

Hanna and Aria saw the anger in Spencer's words, and fearing that this could end with a fight in the middle of the school, they looked at each other, quietly agreeing on stopping them.

Aria walked towards Spencer, and took her arm. "Spence, Emily doesn't think like that."

Spencer knew Aria was right. She was sure that Emily believed her when she had said she loved her, but she was afraid that maybe Pam was right. What if she had misunderstood her feelings, and one day she would have to break Emily's heart? She loved her now girlfriend with all her heart, but she was still afraid of her own feelings. She had thought that she was in love with Toby, and at the end she left him for one of her best friends, who also was his best friend. Spencer sighed heavily, knowing that her friends were waiting for her to say something. "I know, Aria, don't worry."

"Well, you better know, because I don't want you to go back to the sexually frustrated Spencer you used to be before Em." Of course, Hanna had to make a joke about their sexual life.

Aria opened her eyes in her friend's direction, Spencer punched her playfully in the arm and Emily blushed. "I've never been sexually frustrated, I have a right hand." Spencer answered with a huge grin.

"Spencer, shut up!" Emily couldn't blush anymore. She had never thought about Spencer that way before, but the fact that she mentioned it in front of their friends embarrassed her. However, the picture of Spencer touching herself, maybe thinking about her, made her blush even more.

Hanna saw the look on Emily's eyes. They were full of lust. "Why would she stop talking, if you are obviously enjoying it?"

"Hanna, shut up!" Aria took her friends arm and pushed her towards the front door. "We should get going. Now."

They disappeared and left Emily and Spencer alone. Spencer put one finger behind Emily's chin, and made her look at her face. "Emily, I wanna talk to you about your mom…"

"I know, Spence, but we can talk after school, we are almost late."

Spencer breathed heavily, getting ready for saying something she'd never thought she would want to say. "Emily… would you mind if… would you mind if we ditched school today?"

Emily opened her mouth and looked at her in disbelief. Did she just hear what she thought she heard? "Spencer, you know I love you no matter what, but are you taking drugs?"

"Of course I'm not! I just wanna have a nice day with my girlfriend, talking about how much we love each other, and school won't help to it." Spencer laughed at Emily's question, amazing about how cute her girlfriend could be.

"Where do you wanna go?"

"I just want you to sit in my car, and drive away with you."

Emily smiled at her girlfriend's answer, and leaning forward locked their lips together. Spencer moved her hands to Emily's hips, and Emily moaned pressing her body against her girlfriend's. Spencer took the moan as an invitation to deepen the kiss, and so she did. Things were getting pretty heated, and they stopped before going to the non-return point.

Giggling, they went to Spencer's car. Spencer drove towards the road, and put some music as background, while heading to somewhere she only knew. Emily closed her eyes and smiled, both happy and worried about their little excursion. Stopping at a red light, Spencer took her girlfriend's hand and whispered quietly, "You can sleep if you're tired, I'll wake you up when we arrived."

Emily smiled without opening her eyes. "We know you wouldn't be able to disturb my sleep, but don't worry 'cause I'm not tired."

"You're right, I wouldn't wake you up, I would just sit here staring at your heart-breaking beautiful face."

Emily let a huge smile spread all over her face, and opened her eyes trying to see where they were going. Spencer was driving really fast, and turning right and left without hesitation, which was making Emily realize that her mother would kill her if she discovered she was ditching school by a call from the hospital.

"Spencer, can you drive slowly, please?"

"Why? Are you scared?" Spencer turned around to look at her playfully, and Emily's face went pale.

"I am not scared, but look at the road!"

Spencer stopped the car then, parking between to trees in the middle of nowhere. She ran to open Emily's door, and, taking her hand, she kissed her to make her stop talking. "Welcome to our new special and secret place."

Emily looked around her, and realized that they were at some point in the woods, near a river. She heard animal sounds, but she didn't think it could be A spying on them. She walked towards the river, hiding from the drivers passing on the road, and sat on a big stone.

"Emily, I just wanted to tell you that you don't have to worry about what your mother said, I'm sure I love you." Lie. She wasn't sure she loved her own girlfriend, but at least she was sure that she couldn't live without her.

"I know, there was no need to come here to tell me that, Spence."

"There's something more I want to talk about, Emily." Spencer knew this was going to be hard, but she needed to talk about it. "Have you ever thought that I broke your friendship with Toby?"

Emily looked at her astonished. "Why are you worrying about that? I'm sure one day he'll understand we love each other." Emily sounded so confident that Spencer felt guilty because all of her insecurities.

"Well, that was everything, so I guess we should go back to school." Spencer tried to joke, but the way Emily was looking at her made her stop.

"I think that maybe we could use some time alone, you know…" Emily kissed Spencer roughly before even finishing the sentence. They moved 'til found a clean spot in the ground, slowly lying down there, Emily on top. Without stopping their kiss, Emily started to move her hands under Spencer's shirt. She separated their lips, making Spencer pout. Emily smiled and left a sweet kiss on her girlfriend's lips, while unbuttoning her shirt. Spencer tried to undress her girlfriend too, but she ended ripping her shirt. Emily stopped the kiss, looking at her with her eyes wide opened.

"Spencer!" Emily couldn't believe she had done that, but she couldn't hide how aroused she was about that rough movement.

"Shut up and kiss me." Spencer whispered with her huskiest tone, and Emily felt the now common wetness in her core. She was getting used to all of this, and she thought that she couldn't live without her girlfriend.

They kissed for a long while, until they decided to unclasp their bras. Spencer moaned loudly at the feeling of her naked breast against Emily's. She was starting to get tired of having her girlfriend on top, so they rolled. Spencer was now on top, so she decided that it was the moment to do what she wanted. She put her hand between them, moving it slowly all over Emily's stomach. She undid the button of her girlfriend's jeans, and without any word she put one of her hands inside of them. She was wet, and she could feel that her girlfriend was as wet as she was. Emily moaned loudly, and Spencer smiled to herself, knowing that she was driving her crazy.

"Please, stop teasing me." Emily begged with her beautiful, big eyes full of lust.

"If you really wanted me to stop, you just had to let me know, honey."

"Don't you dare to stop touching me, Hastings!"

Spencer laughed, and Emily pressed their lips together, trying to make her continue with what she was doing a few seconds before. Spencer understood the idea, and quickly put her hand inside Emily's underwear. Before she could say anything, Emily felt her two fingers inside of her. Emily screamed in pleasure, closing her eyes. She didn't care she was in the middle of the woods, and she didn't care that A could be seeing them, like she didn't care when they were on their first date. She knew she should care, but the pleasure was too high to her to focus on any other thing that wasn't Spencer on top of her. Spencer smiled when she felt Emily's walls tighten around her fingers, and, before Emily could reach her orgasm, she stopped. Emily looked at her, worried, and opened her eyes even more when she felt Spencer's tongue on her core. She screamed and tangled her fingers on her girlfriend's hair. Finally, she reached her high pleasure climb, and Spencer kissed her softly 'til she got rid of her orgasm.

"Spencer, that was…" Emily couldn't find the words to tell her girlfriend how amazing that was, and Spencer kissed her, understanding.

"That was just the way I wanted to show you how much I love you, Em."

Emily smiled, and when she tried to return the pleasure to her girlfriend, Spencer stopped her. She just wanted to cuddle, enjoying the last minutes of their alone time. Emily had to be back in less than an hour, because of her swimming practice.

"I love you too, Spence." Emily smiled and hugged her girlfriend, only separating their bodies to find their clothes. "But what am I supposed to wear, since you did this to my t-shirt?" Emily asked while moving a piece of cloth in front of Spencer's face.

"I'm so sorry, Em, I think I have a t-shirt in my car." Spencer looked really sorry, but she couldn't but smile at the picture of Emily's wearing her clothes, knowing that they would look slightly small on her.

They walked to the car, still hugging each other, and Emily took the t-shirt. It was one of Spencer's field hockey t-shirt, and it would be obvious that it wasn't hers. Anyway, she didn't care. Truthfully, she loved the thought of wearing Spencer's clothes. They went inside, and Spencer drove quietly back to the school. They kissed for a few minutes, not wanting to go away from each other. Suddenly, they heard a knock on Spencer's window.

"I guess you two had fun, since you look like you had a mud fight." Hanna was there, looking at them with a knowing smirk.

"Shut up, Hanna." Spencer let go of Emily's lips and turned towards her friend. "I guess you didn't have fun, since you look as perfect as always."

"I also look perfect after sex, Spence. But I think I'm not as lucky as you are, and I can control myself enough to go to school."

"I can't believe you ditched school to go having sex with your girlfriend, Spencer Hastings!" Aria shouted approaching them.

"Aria! Someone could hear you!" Emily blushed. She decided to run before they could embarrass her even more, so she kissed her girlfriend and whispered, "I'll call you later."

"Everyone knows that you were having sex, Emily!" Hanna shouted as Emily ran away, to her swimming practice.

"Stop it, Hanna." Spencer begged her friend, knowing the effect of her words on her girlfriend.

"I'll stop if you give me a ride home and tell me everything you've been doing all this morning." Hanna gave Spencer a huge smile, and Aria quickly added, "Could you give me a ride too, please?"

"You know I can't say no to you, so come on." Spencer sighed.

**A/N I wanted to add that I'm open to suggestions, and that since I can't wait 'til January 8****th**** I'm thinking of using a spoilers I've read about on this story, so if you wouldn't like it just let me know, please. Thank you all for reading, and thank you ****craycrayforshay**** for your support. I love knowing that there's people who read this, and I love it even more when you let me know… I don't bite! (I can't bite you through my computer). ^^**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N I just realized that all this thing about Pam freaking out about Emily and Spencer is a little cliché, so I think I'll go through it as fast as possible. And this is all, read, enjoy and review :)**

**Chapter 15.**

Days passed, and their relationship consisted on seeing each other at school, kissing between classes, making out at lunch, Spencer driving Emily home after her swimming practices, calling each other at night and then thinking about their last alone moment that day in the woods until getting asleep. Pam had received a call from school; she got furious with Emily, they fought and now Spencer had her girlfriend stuck in home detention. Spencer wasn't really a patient girl, but she knew she had to stay strong for Emily, supporting her girlfriend.

Hanna and Aria could see it was being hard for both Spencer and Emily, and since they were still allowed to visit Emily they decided to do something. They went to see Pam while Emily was at her swimming practice.

"Hi, girls, Emily's not here." Pam frowned when she opened the door.

Hanna looked at Aria, suddenly feeling too coward to confront the terrible Pam Fields. Aria sighed, and, looking at Pam's face, she said hesitantly, "Actually, we wanted to talk to you, Mrs. Fields."

"Is this about Spencer? Did she send you here?" Pam looked at the street in front of her house, probably trying to see if her daughter's girlfriend was around there.

"Of course not," Hanna finally opened her mouth to defend her friend, "She respects you, and she would never do something like that!"

"Oh, and she's playing with my daughter, because she respects me that much, right?"

Aria looked at her astonished. How could someone think that horrible thing about Spencer? She was nearly as sweet as Emily, and everyone could see that she cared too much about Emily to play with her like that. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Fields, but I think you are committing an even worse mistake that the one you did with Maya."

Hanna closed her eyes when she heard the name of the dead girl. However, she knew she had to support Aria's statement, so she quickly added, "I think you should think about it, Mrs. Fields, or you'll end up losing Emily."

Pam's heart jumped when Aria mentioned Maya's name. She had been too strict with her, and that was something that she would regret for the rest of her life. She didn't want to lose Emily, she was her daughter, but she only wanted the best for her. She knew her husband wanted her to understand that she couldn't interfere in her daughter's love life, but she couldn't see her broken again. Maybe she should give Spencer an opportunity. When she finally reached that conclusion, the girls were nowhere to be seen. She sighed and closed the door, thinking about how to tell Emily.

While all of this was happening, Spencer was looking at her mother in the kitchen of her huge house, a few streets away. Veronica Hastings looked up from her computer and caught her daughter's eyes.

""What's bothering you, Spencer?"

"I just wanted to tell you something."

"You know you can tell me anything, right?" Veronica wasn't always the kind of woman who would always support her daughter, but she loved her, and she really wanted to help her.

Spencer swallowed hard; this wasn't going to be easy. "Mom, I'm dating someone."

"I know you're dating Toby, honey." Veronica laughed, was her daughter getting crazy?

"No, I'm not dating him since… well, since some time." Spencer realized that maybe she shouldn't give dates, or her mom would understand that she and Emily were seeing each other before she broke up with Toby.

"Oh, why you didn't tell me?" Veronica seemed truly worried about her daughter. She had thought their relationship was better now, but it seemed like she was wrong. "Who are you seeing now? Do I know him?"

"Well, actually… I think you know her pretty well." Spencer just said it, too fast for her mother to understand.

After a few seconds, Veronica's face went from worried to frowned, back to worried and finally she smiled. It wasn't a huge smile, but it was something. "Spencer, are you gay?"

"I think I'm something more like bisexual, but I like to think that I fall for people, not for bodies." Even if Emily was so heartbreakingly hot.

"Well, this is a big surprise. I mean, I've never noticed anything…"

"Mom, this is not something you would notice, it's more something I would notice. And you never paid enough attention to me, so why would you know?"

Veronica could heard how her daughter was hurt, and she went to hug her tightly. Hugs weren't a Hastings' thing, but it felt so right that she regretted she hadn't done it before. "I love you no matter what, Spencer. And now, can you tell me please who is she?"

"Mom, it's… well, it's Emily." Spencer didn't want the hug to end, because she was afraid that she couldn't say everything she needed to say to her mom's face.

Veronica frowned, but didn't let her daughter go off her embrace. "Emily, as in Emily Fields?"

"Yeah…"

"Well, I don't know what to say here… She's so sweet, and I'm glad you found someone so good for you. Does Pam know about it?" Before Spencer could answer, she quickly added, "Did you two had sex? Do you love her?"

"Mom! Stop asking if you want an answer!" Spencer blushed at the mention of having sex with Emily. If only her mother knew… But she had to give some answers. "Pam knows, and she's not thrilled about it, to be honest. And I won't tell you anything about my sex life, mom! And… Well, I'm sure I love her, and I don't want to hurt her, but…"

"But?" Veronica tried to ignore the answer to her other questions. She didn't really want to know about if their sexual life, she was sure they already did it. And Pam, she would talk to Pam, this was something a mother could handle. "You still love Toby, don't you?"

Spencer stared at her foot, realizing that she was really talking about this with her mom. "Yes, I love him. But I also love her. I think…" Spencer gulped, trying to say out loud what she'd been thinking all day since she first kissed Emily, "I think I love him, but I think I'm in love with her."

"Oh my God, Spencer! Let's have dinner tomorrow, and we can talk about all of this!" Veronica seemed too excited, but she was really that happy for her daughter. Even if she didn't know it yet, she knew for sure that Emily and Spencer were in love since too long ago, and she loved the idea of having someone like Emily loving her daughter. She was just what Spencer needed. "Do you want to tell your dad?"

"Tell me what?" Peter Hastings chose that moment to appear, and Spencer decided to tell him, even if she knew she wouldn't be happy about it.

"That I am dating Emily."

"You what?" Peter wasn't happy about it, just like her daughter had predicted.

"They are in love, Peter." Veronica tried to calm him down, and it seemed to work.

"Spencer…. I won't say that I agree with all of this, but if this is what you want… I'll try to support you, and if you want to date Emily, then date her, I won't do anything to stop you for being happy… But I don't like it."

Spencer opened her eyes astonished. "Dad, are you one of these people who act like they're okay with homosexuality but then freak out when it happens under their ceiling?"

"Maybe…" Peter looked at her daughter's face, trying to make her see that even if he didn't understand it he could try to do it. "But I love you, Spencer."

"Thank you, dad." Spencer hugged him tightly, and Veronica wiped a single tear from her eye. She would never imagine having this scene in her kitchen. Her husband was being more than reasonable with her daughter, and that was making her very happy. They needed to repair all the damage they had done to Spencer, by pushing her too hard for almost all her life.

Spencer ran to her bedroom, ready to call Emily, when her phone beeped. Blocked ID again. "I see things are getting a little too emotional with daddy, Spence. What would you do to stop me from telling him about your little school trip to the woods? –A"

She closed her eyes; she wouldn't let A screw one of the best moments of her life. She tried to call her girlfriend, again, but her phone started ringing. A huge smile lit her face when she saw it was Emily.

"Hello, love, I wanted to call you first."

"Oh, poor Spencer, it seems like you can lose at something." Emily teased her, and quickly added before Spencer could find a proper answer, "Anyway, I wanted to tell you that my mom wants you here for dinner. Tonight."

"Okay, I'll be there…" Spencer was still thinking about Emily's joke, when she realized what she just heard. "Wait, your mom wants me for dinner?"

"It seems like our best friends have something to do with it, but they won't tell me." Emily sighed in the other part of the line. "My mom only said that you deserve an opportunity, even if she's not happy with this…"

Spencer couldn't believe her good luck. Her parents were happy about their relationship, and maybe she could convince Pam too in the same day. She stood quiet, thinking about how happy she was.

"Spencer, are you here? You wanted to tell me something, didn't you?" Emily worried about her girlfriend's lack of words.

"Yeah, I wanted to tell you that I came out to my parents, and they're more or less happy about it… Well, my mom is very happy about us, but my parents promised he will try to understand me…" Spencer suddenly realized she was crying, and she tried to hide it.

"Are you crying of happiness, Spencer Hastings?" Of course, Spencer couldn't hide anything from her girlfriend.

"I'm crying because I'm so happy I have you, Miss Fields."

"I'd love to answer to your sweetness with something even sweeter, but my mom is asking me to go shopping for tonight… Just remember to dress hot for me, honey!"

Spencer wanted to tease Emily, and explain her that she couldn't dress hot when she had to impress her mother, but Emily was gone before she could say it. She sighed, amused at how easy things were going. She wanted to forget about A and the text, and she needed something to relax before dinner, so she decided to go running.

She threw on one of her million running suits, and went to the kitchen. She opened the back door of the house and breathed the almost winter air. She loved this season, and she loved knowing that she had Emily to share it. By the side of her eye, she caught something moving at some point near the woods right in front her bathroom's window. She went to hide quietly, and ran between the trees 'til reach the point. Someone had been there. She was sure it wasn't an animal. It was A. She turned around, suddenly aware of the risk she was taking by being there by herself. She decided to ran back to her home and call the girls, when she saw something in the grass.

There, resting peacefully between grass and mud, there was a glove. Slowly, she bent and took it using her sweater to don't touch it with her own fingers. It was a carpenter's glove. She only knew one person in Rosewood who liked to work with wood, and she was sure this person knew perfectly these woods. Toby. But Toby couldn't be A, because he loved her.

Still with a shocked face, Spencer went back to her kitchen and locked every single door and window in her home. At some point between when she went to her room and when she came back home, her parents had left. She was so shocked that she didn't even heard them leaving. Toby was A. At least, he was in the A team. She couldn't believe it. She still loved him, even if she was in love with Emily. She couldn't erase all the memories, the feelings shared. No, it couldn't be true. Should she call her friends? Of course, she couldn't call Emily, because she was Toby's friend, and she wouldn't believe her. Probably, Hanna and Aria would say that she was crazy. Was she crazy? A was driving her crazy. Maybe this was just one of their stupid games to drive them crazy. She knew that was possible, but there was something that still was making her believe that Toby had something to do with this. She understood that Toby had too many reasons to hate on Alison, but why them? Why his ex-girlfriend? Why stalk her even when they were still dating?

She needed to do something about this, but now she had to worry about Pam Fields. She texted Emily an "I love you" text, and then sent another text to Aria and Hanna, saying "See you at my home at 10 pm, I have something on A. Don't tell Em."

Aria and Hanna worried at the message, but Emily had told them about the dinner, so they decided to wait.

Spencer found a cute classic dress, glad that she could dress preppy. She stared at her vanity mirror, and decided to send a photo to Emily. She looked so hot that even she wanted to make out with herself. However, she still looked cute, like a good girl who never would do anything with her girlfriend before marriage. She smiled to herself, knowing that she could never be able to wait if Emily was near her, she'd never met someone that could drive her that crazy.

She went to her car, kissing her mom on the way, and drove towards the Fields' house. She stopped the car and stood there for a while, not ready to enter her girlfriend's home. After a few minutes, she went out of her car and walked towards the house, knocking when she reached the door.

**A/N Cliffhanger here, I have to rehearse for a concert I have next week, and I think I should start thinking about university, since I only have 6 more months of high school. Hope you enjoyed this update, and please leave a review so I'll know. Oh, and do you remember what I said about using a spoiler on the story? I still didn't do it, but I think I'll use it anytime soon, if it's not a problem with you :)**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N Okay, no spoilers. I'll try to do something about A, but there might be no stalker in this chapter. Since today I had no school, and tomorrow I won't (that's the only good thing about this country, that there's a lot of days without school), I think I'll write a lot, mostly tomorrow.**

**Read, enjoy and review. (There will be a few M scenes here).**

**Chapter 16.**

Spencer knocked at the door, trying to calm down. She heard Emily shouting something inside, and the door was opened. There she was, Emily, standing right in front of her, stunning. Spencer was dying for kissing her, but she wanted to do things well with Pam this time. Emily didn't seem to think like her, so she pressed their lips together, licking Spencer's low lip with her tongue, asking for entrance. Spencer, afraid as she was of Pam, stood there without opening her mouth. Emily sighed, stopping the kiss and taking Spencer's hand to lean her inside the house.

They walked to the dining room, and Pam appeared from the kitchen with something that seemed like their dinner. Emily felt Spencer's hand sweating, and smiled at her to show her support.

"Hello, Spencer, I'm glad you could come." Pam seemed happy, or at least not as angry as Spencer had imagined. "Sit there, next to Emmy, I would like to talk to you through this dinner."

Spencer did as she was said, and sat next to her girlfriend. Pam went back to the kitchen, mumbling something about the water, and Emily took the opportunity to take Spencer's hand and look at her eyes, whispering, "I love you."

Pam sat at the table, and they started eating without any word. "I've heard you're going to Princeton…" Pam broke the ice by talking about school. Emily relaxed, knowing that Spencer would relax too by talking about this.

"Yeah, I think so…" Awkward. Spencer sounded awkward. Emily tried to make her girlfriend talk more, so she slowly slid her hand to Spencer's thigh. Spencer gasped at the touch, feeling Emily's hand caressing her thigh, going upper and upper. "I think I'll study Law there, but I'm not sure yet."

"Oh, so you'll follow your family path?" With her mother's question, Emily moved her hand upper, until reaching Spencer's underwear. God, she was wetter than ever, even if she was obviously nervous. Emily thought that she had to remember to tease Spencer about how nasty she was lately, before she could go back to her home.

"I'm not following any path, I'm just making my own one. I just want to have a great future, for me and for your daughter, Mrs. Fields." Spencer swallowed hard when she felt Emily's fingers at her entrance. How the hell was she doing that with her mother there? Pam looked at Spencer's face, seeming impressed about the answer.

"I'm glad you're thinking about Emily, but don't you think it's a little too soon for it?" Why couldn't Pam just stop asking and finish the dinner? Emily smiled to herself, knowing that she was driving her girlfriend crazy.

"I don't think it's soon, since we've been best friends for such a long time." Spencer's answer came out of her mouth just in time, because the following second Emily thrust two of her long fingers inside of Spencer. She started pounding in and out of her girlfriend's core, making she grab her arm and dig her nails on it, trying not to moan. Right when she was about to come, Emily stopped, slowly taking her fingers to her lips, looking at Spencer's eyes while doing it.

Pam, oblivious to everything going around her, asked if the girls where finished and took their plates to the kitchen. "I am not finished." Spencer whispered into Emily's ear, making her giggle. She was aroused, and she had to sit there and try to convince her girlfriend's mother that she was a good girl. How was she supposed to do it with Emily teasing her like that? Pam came back and they went to sit in the living room, Emily next to Spencer and Pam in front of them.

"Spencer, I've been thinking a lot about this. I know you are a good girl, and I know you've been friends for a long time. Also, I know your friends think you won't hurt Emily, and I've came to the conclusion that maybe they're right." A huge smile took place on Spencer's face, while Emily took her hand at her mom's words. "I'll just ask you to respect this house, and take care of Emmy, I don't wanna see her suffering anymore."

Emily hugged her mom, and Spencer said, "Thank you, Mrs. Fields, I promise I will always love your daughter."

"Don't promise that to me, promise it to her." Pam smiled and excused herself to do something in the kitchen, leaving the girls to talk.

Emily kissed Spencer, without caring anymore about her mom seeing them. She was so happy she could have died, and she wanted to share it with her girlfriend, knowing that she was happy too. Spencer pushed her away, looking into her dark eyes for a long while, finally whispering, "I'll never be able to show you how much I hate you for what you did to me at that table."

"You are such a nasty girl, Miss Hastings, and you loved it." Emily smiled innocently at her girlfriend, making her smile too.

"Why is it so hard to hate you, Miss Fields?" Spencer kissed chastely her girlfriend, closing her eyes and not wanting the moment to end. Suddenly, Emily pushed her away and ran to her mom, asking her something that Spencer couldn't hear. She stood there, sitting astonished at her girlfriend's behavior.

Emily came back after a few minutes, with a wide smile on her face. "My mom says I can walk you home, so you better go say her good night." Spencer smiled, and went to the kitchen with Emily.

"Good night, Mrs. Fields, and thank you again." Pam looked at Spencer amused at how polite she always was, and gave her a hug before they left.

Spencer and Emily walked, hand by hand, until Emily saw Spencer's car. "You went by car?"

"Yeah…"

"You live only a few streets away, why don't you come walking?"

Spencer looked at Emily astonished at the question. "Because I wanted you to be the first person to see me in this sexy dress."

"Well, it's a really sexy dress." Emily smiled at her girlfriend's answer. "Do you mind leaving here your car and leave me walking you home?"

"I'd love it." Spencer kissed Emily's check.

They walked quietly, smiling happily at the strangers on the streets. Only for that night, it was just them, walking along the street like a normal couple, showing the town that they were in love. Soon, they arrived at the Hasting's mansion.

"Do you wanna come in for a few minutes?" Spencer asked, not wanting her girlfriend to go.

"You know I want, but only if you promise me that you'll let me go early, so my mom won't get angry."

"I promise." Spencer kissed Emily passionately and pushed her to the door. Without breaking the kiss, she reached for her keys and opened the door, walking Emily to the kitchen.

"Are you alone in home?" Emily wanted to be sure that no one would interrupt them.

Spencer decided to answer by pressing her body against Emily's, kissing her again. She moved her hands to Emily's breasts, needing the release she couldn't get before. Emily moaned, and taking Spencer by the ass, she sat her on the counter, placing herself between her legs. She had to be quick, so she rushed to move her hand between Spencer's legs. She easily inserted two fingers inside of her girlfriend, making her moan in pleasure. She bent to her knees and licked her for only a few seconds, but Spencer was too aroused and had her release really sooner than usual. Spencer looked at her, her breathing still fastened, and jumped off the counter. She helped Emily standing up again, and kissed her neck while putting a finger inside of her. She tried to give her some oral pleasure too, but Emily stopped her by kissing her passionately. She understood, and started moving as fast as she could her finger, knowing that Pam would call soon. "Spencer…" Emily closed her eyes, leaving the pleasure take her body and put her mind out of the planet.

They kissed for a few more minutes, and then Emily hugged Spencer, whispering, "I love you more than anything, Spencer Jill Hastings."

"I love you too, Em."

They stood like that, hugging with their eyes closed, until Emily's phone ringed in her purse. Her mom was worried about her, of course. She said good night to her girlfriend, and started walking home.

"What took you so much time, Emily?" Pam asked fearing that the answer could be sex.

"Oh, I wanted to walk alone for a while, thinking." Emily was a better liar than she thought, and she saw her mom sighing relieved. She kissed her mom and went to her bedroom, texting Spencer when she was about to go bed.

"I hope you are happy enough before our little chat in your kitchen, honey. Xoxo"

Spencer took her phone from her kitchen counter when it chirped, making her jump. She saw it was from Emily, and a giggle escaped her lips when she read it. She quickly wrote an answer, sending it and going to her bedroom.

"I am so happy I could fucking die, but now that you remind me of it I think I'll have to make myself even happier. Xoxo"

Emily opened her eyes at her girlfriend's answer. Was she saying what she thought she was saying? She didn't want to know, since tomorrow would be a long day telling everything to Hanna and Aria, so she texted her an answer and closed her eyes.

"Have fun, but don't forget that I love you more than your right hand ever will. See you tomorrow, love."

Spencer closed her eyes with a stupid grin, getting asleep at the thought of how much she loved to tease Emily, even if she seemed to fail almost every time.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17.**

The next morning arrived, and Spencer woke up with only 20 minutes to get ready for school. This was the very first time in her life that she didn't wake up with the sun, and she was afraid that she didn't know why. Maybe it was because Emily had tired her more than usual the previous night, or maybe because thanks to that she slept better than ever. Anyway, she ran to her car, sending a good morning text to her girlfriend.

The first ours of school passed as usual, with Hanna trying to mess up with her and she doing her best to pay attention to the teacher. When the bell ran announcing it was lunch time, the blonde ran to hug her, whispering every single question she had tried to ask her along the morning.

"Shut up, Hanna," Spencer pushed her away roughly, "I'm hungry!"

"And you shouldn't hug my girlfriend like that, she's mine." Emily added, approaching them with her arm linked to Aria's.

Spencer closed her eyes and smiled, trying not to get aroused at Emily's words. She hated how she was so easily turned on, but it was something only Emily could do to her.

"Hey, sweetie," Spencer leaned to kiss her girlfriend.

Emily smiled and turned her face, making Spencer's kiss become a chaste kiss on the check. Spencer pouted, and Emily kissed her lips softly. "I wanted to kiss you first."

Both Aria and Hanna exclaimed "Cuuuute!" quiet loudly, making people on the hall turn to look at them. Spencer and Emily laughed, and taking each other's hand started walking to their table, sitting together. People were looking at them, but they thought it had something to do with their loudly friends.

"How did everything go with the terrible Pam Fields?" Hanna asked eagerly.

"Hanna! You're talking about my mom!" Emily seemed angry at her friend's question, even if she knew her mom could be worse than terrible.

"Everything went good, and she approves on us." Spencer answered, not wanting her girlfriend to fight with one of their best friends.

"I'm so happy everything's okay now." Aria took Spencer's and Emily's hands in hers, smiling at them.

"I'm happy too, girls, but what happened after dinner? Hot lesbian sex?" Hanna was totally unable to close her mouth. Spencer rolled her eyes, and Emily blushed, making it obvious that Hanna was right. "I knew it! Spencer, you are a dirty girl!"

"Why me?" Spencer asked, fearing the answer.

"Because Emily is the sweetest one here, Hastings." Aria answered the question, making Spencer open her mouth and Emily blush even more, knowing the truth.

"If only you knew…" Spencer sighed, winning a death glare from her blushed girlfriend, making their friends laugh.

"Oh, I think we were wrong, Aria." Hanna teased them, laughing at Emily's red face. "Emily is the dominant, obviously."

Aria laughed at the comment, and Emily left the table running. Spencer looked at them, which only made them laugh more, and followed her girlfriend. When Emily crossed the door, Spencer lost her. She started opened every door she saw, until she reached the restrooms. She opened the door, and heard someone crying softly behind one of the doors. "Emily, are you here?"

She got no answer, but she was convinced that the one crying in that toilet was her girlfriend. She moved towards the door, and slightly pushed it open. It wasn't Emily. Spencer's mouth fell open when she saw Jenna crying there. They never had a good relationship, especially thanks to Ali and what she had done that they had called "The Jenna Thing", but seeing her crying like that made Spencer want to comfort her.

"Jenna, are you okay?" Spencer knew that she should be searching for her girlfriend, but Jenna was there, in front of her.

"Get out of this fucking place, Hastings." Jenna threw her words to Spencer's face, her voice full of hate. Spencer knew Jenna had every right in the world to hate her and the girls, but she really wanted to help her, maybe because since Garret talked to her before dying she was worried about Jenna. She hadn't noticed before, but since Jenna wasn't blind any more she seemed to live in fear, and she had the feeling that it had something to do with A.

"I'm not going anywhere, Jenna. I thought you knew me better."

"Oh yeah, I forgot you are a damn stubborn girl who likes to play grow-up games."

"What do you mean with that?" Spencer chocked at Jenna's words. What was she trying to say? That she knew about new A? Maybe it was only about what she had done when Alison was still with them, but she needed to know.

"I mean that you don't have any idea what you did with Toby." Jenna looked up, at her eyes. Spencer tried to keep their eyes locked, but Jenna's where full of too many feelings. She saw hate, anger, guilt, regret and fear in them. Fear. What had scared Jenna Marshall enough to make her be there crying in a school toilet? "I thought you were way more intelligent like that, but maybe your parents are right and Melissa's the good Hastings."

That hurt Spencer. She wasn't expecting something like that, she was only trying to help. She turned to leave, but Jenna's hand stopped her. "Aren't you finished hating on me, Jenna?"

"Stay away from Toby, and look after your girlfriend. Remember he has a very good reason to hate the four of you." Spencer looked at her in disbelief. Was she implying that Toby was a bad guy? Maybe she had always known it, and that's why she had pretended to be blind when she wasn't. Spencer wanted to ask, she needed to know, but Jenna ran out of the room before she could stop her.

Spencer's phone went off in her pocket, and she immediately remembered whom she was initially searching for. She had a text from Emily.

"I'm sorry I went out like that, I felt so embarrassed. I promise I won't do this again, but please come back. I love you – Em"

Come back? Where was Emily? Where did she think Spencer was? Thinking that her girlfriend had gone crazy, but that she loved her anyway, Spencer opened the door. She was greeted by her friends almost before stepping out, looking shocked at their hugs.

"Thanks God you are alright, why were you there?" Emily was the first to talk.

"I was searching you…" Spencer didn't know what was happening, and she hated not knowing everything.

"A sent us a text saying that we should look more after you, and stop making you be the one always looking after us." Hanna said.

"She's right, you are always looking after us…" Aria looked really concerned, and that made Spencer hug her tightly.

"I will always look after you all, we are best friends." Spencer looked at the other girls, knowing that she had to say something about the scene in the restroom. "I was there with Jenna, but I don't think she has something to do with A."

"Why were you alone in there with Jenna?" Hanna almost shouted.

"Let me explain." Spencer wanted to say everything before forgetting something that could be important in any way. "I was looking for Emily, and I came here and heard someone crying. I thought it was Em, so I opened the door, and saw Jenna crying like a baby. I wanted to comfort her, she looked so sad. I tried to talk, but she was angry, and she ended saying me some hateful things. At first I thought she was going to tell me something related to A, but after that I only wanted to leave her alone. However, she took my arm and told me something that left me worried, so she ran and I was going after her when you appeared."

The girls looked at her worried. Spencer had always been protective, but worrying about Jenna seemed too much for them. "What did she said to leave you worried?" Emily asked quietly.

"She said that I should look after you and stay away from Toby. She added that… that he has a good reason to hate us."

"She's lying." Emily was again the first to speak. Even if after everything he didn't talk to her, she was still Toby's friend, maybe his only friend in Rosewood, and she really loved him. She couldn't believe he had done anything wrong, in her mind he was the best boy in the world. She had always secretly thought that if she weren't gay she would have fell for him, so how could she think anything bad about him?

Spencer sighed, reading Emily's thoughts in her eyes. "We should forget about this and go back to class. Do you wanna come to my house after?"

Aria and Hanna looked at her, wondering why she was avoiding talking about it. They knew she still loved Toby, but only as someone who shared many things with her. They looked at each other, knowing that they had to talk to Spencer without Emily there, but it would have to wait.

"You know my answer will always be yes, Spence." Hanna answered looking at her teasingly under her long eyelashes.

"Hanna, stop looking at my girlfriend like that, or I'll have to kick your ass." Emily said playfully, knowing how much it turned Spencer on when she acted jealously.

"I wasn't inviting you, you have plans with your boyfriend." Spencer winked at Hanna, who looked at her like she was crazy.

"Caleb is with her mother, again." She didn't like to talk about it, but they knew that it was breaking her heart having to stay away from him all the time, even if she knew that this way she could somewhat keep him away from A's daily moves. Of course, A had once hurt Caleb's mom, but since the train incident she hadn't had any problem with them. It seemed like that bitch had been busy hating on Spencer and Emily.

"Maybe he has some free time for you, who knows?" Spencer turned to her class, taking Emily by her hand, with Aria linking her arm to Emily's. They left Hanna there, thinking about what had happened. She couldn't believe that Caleb was coming and that Spencer had known it before she did. She had to go to her class, so she just moved, her mind too far away from Rosewood High.

The last classes passed like the morning had passed, without anything important happening. Emily had swimming after school, like almost every day, but Spencer was happy for it because she wanted to go shopping before going home. She bought some of Emily's favorite ice-cream, popcorns and some new DVDs. They were going to cuddle and watch movies all afternoon, like a common couple. Spencer had wanted to take things slowly, and since she couldn't resist Emily she decided that they were going to have to do something more than having sex every day. She wanted to do things well with Emily, it wasn't like she could resist it if they ended breaking up. Before she could realize it, it was time to go for Emily.

She arrived to the school's parking lot, and saw Emily talking to someone. She didn't worried, until she realized it was Paige. She opened her door and started walking slowly towards them. Emily couldn't see her, but Paige did, and staring into her eyes she took Emily's shoulders and kissed her. Emily tried to push her away, but apparently Paige was stronger than her.

"If you don't stop kissing my girlfriend, I promise you I'll put your head in the top of a post, to show everyone what happens when they mess up with me." Spencer approached them, and Emily finally was able to push Paige away.

"Don't do that again, Paige." Emily was angry, angrier than Spencer had never seen her.

"Why? I'm sure you liked it." Why couldn't Paige shut up and go away? Spencer smiled and walked towards her, stopping right in front of her face. She threw her arm and punched Paige's face, leaving her lip bleeding.

"She is mine now, McCullers."

Spencer took Emily's hand and walked her to her car. Emily looked at her shocked, and whispered, "You shouldn't have done that, I can take care of myself."

"I know, but I don't want anyone to kiss my girlfriend."

"I am not yours, Spencer, I'm free."

Spencer smiled at Emily. "I know, you are free, and I love you being free. But no one else can kiss your lips, their mine."

Emily smiled and kissed Spencer's lips lightly. "Only yours."

They went inside their cars and drove towards Spencer's home. It was going to be a very long afternoon, especially if Spencer really wanted to cuddle with her girlfriend. Before they had even entered the house, they were kissing passionately on the door.

**A/N Here ends chapter 17, hope you enjoyed it, it's just something I wanted to write before the "cuddling" afternoon that's coming.**

**Thanks for reading, seeing how many visits this story has always makes me happy :)**

**And thank you ****Craycrayforshay**** for all your reviews, I really love them :)**

**If you liked this, if you didn't, if you have any suggestion or if only you wanna say anything, you know what to do.**


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18.**

Spencer opened the door to her house, her lips locked to Emily's. They walked awkwardly, trying not to fall. A fake cough made them stop and look around them, ashamed. Melissa was standing there, with a funny smirk on her face.

"Are you too busy to help me taking this to my car, Spencer?" She pointed to a box behind her, and Spencer looked at her astonished.

"Of course I am busy, Melissa." Emily elbowed her girlfriend when she heard her rude answer. Spencer looked at her, seeing in her face that she would have to help her sister if she wanted to spend the afternoon with an Emily in a good mood. She sighed, going to catch the box and throwing it at the back seat of Melissa's car, which was parked in front of their house, by the way. She couldn't believe she hadn't seen it.

Spencer came back to the house, finding Melissa and Emily talking in the kitchen. They hadn't noticed her, and she wasn't sure if she wanted to be noticed, since they seemed to be talking about her.

"She is so lucky for having such a sweet girlfriend as you, Emily." Melissa was saying.

"I am the lucky one, Melissa, and you should know it."

"Why should I know it?"

"Because she is your sister, and you've known her since always, so you should know how she is and that I am the lucky one." Emily seemed really serious while saying that, which made Spencer's heart flutter.

"Just because I know her since always, I know that she doesn't really deserve someone like you, even if I'm glad you are dating." Spencer frowned. What was that supposed to mean?

"I think you should show more respect for your sister, or you'll end up losing her."

"Will you take her away?" Melissa chuckled, finding funny the idea of someone taking her sister away.

"No, I won't, because I love her, but she deserves way much more love than she'd always got from both you and your parents." Spencer couldn't believe Emily was really saying that. She was supposed to be the sweetest of the four friends, but it seemed like she had changed a lot. Anyway, Spencer couldn't but love her more than anything.

Spencer was slapped out of her thoughts when she heard Emily murmuring something about going to see if she was okay, and she quickly ran to the door, pretending that she had just entered the house.

"What took you all that time?" Emily smiled at her girlfriend lovingly, putting her hands on her shoulders and leaving a peck on her lips.

"I got distracted with some kids paying on the street."

"Aw, you were thinking about us having kids, weren't you?" Emily pecked again Spencer's lips, leaving her girlfriend with a shocked face.

"Don't you think it's a little too early to think about that?" She'd never liked children, and she was afraid that things were going really too fast between she and Emily. She couldn't imagine herself having kids before having gone to university and being married and having a career.

"I was just messing with you." Emily smiled at her, still with her hands on her shoulders. "I love it when you frown like that, it's sexy."

Spencer smiled and pulled her girlfriend in for a kiss. Their lips crashed together, making their worlds stop while they were there, kissing again at the door. After a while, Emily started tracing her tongue along Spencer's low lip, asking for entrance. Spencer resisted for a few seconds, but she finally opened her mouth, allowing Emily's tongue to explore as much as she wanted. Their tongues fought for dominance, but it was obvious there wasn't going to be a winner in their kiss. They separated from each other, and Spencer stared at Emily's beautiful eyes with a huge grin on her face. Finally, she whispered, "I love you, Em." At some point between when they were kissing and that exact moment, she had decided that she wouldn't mention anything about what she had heard before. It was better that way, she thought.

"I hope you know I love you too, Spence." Emily smiled at her girlfriend, stepping away from her and letting her into the house. They saw the kitchen was empty, except from a piece of paper. Spencer's face went white when she thought it could be from A, but when she read it she just smiled.

"What does it say?" Emily asked.

"It's from Melissa, saying that since we seemed busy she went out from the back door. She even signed with her full name, as if this were some official paper." Spencer smiled at the note again, and taking Emily's hand she went to sit at the couch with her. "I have a few things planned for today, I hope you don't mind."

"How would I mind having the best girlfriend ever?"

Spencer smiled and handed her new DVDs to Emily, so she could choose one. Meanwhile, she went to the kitchen and started the microwave with the popcorns inside, serving them some Diet Coke as their drink. When everything was ready, she went back to the couch, finding that Emily had chosen "The corpse bride". It wasn't like she didn't had it, actually she had had it for a few years and they had watched it like a million times on their sleepovers, but one day it suddenly disappeared, and she couldn't find it anymore. They cuddled in the couch, using a blanket to cover their bodies. Winter was really coming, and it was cold in the Hasting's huge house.

As the time was slowly passing, Emily found herself not able to pay attention to anything but Spencer's soft grip on her. She didn't know how, but she ended fantasizing about having sex with her girlfriend in that couch, knowing that either Melissa or Spencer's parents could appear at any moment. She tried to focus on the film, knowing that Spencer really wanted to have a cuddling afternoon, but it was becoming too hard. Spencer, oblivious to her girlfriend's state, started tracing small circles on her leg, which only made it harder for Emily to resist and not ripe her clothes off right there and then. Emily took Spencer's hand, making her stop and look at her questioningly.

"I can't if you keep doing that."

"Doing what?" Spencer didn't understand her girlfriend, and that was making her feel uncomfortable. She always needed to understand everything.

"Just stop teasing me, okay?" Emily couldn't believe Spencer was really unaware of the effect her hands had on her body.

Spencer sighed, kissing Emily's forehead, and turned towards the TV. The movie ended, and Spencer tried to put another one, but Emily stopped her by taking the remote and putting some lame show about people trying to sing. She looked at her, wondering why would she put that if she knew she wouldn't like it. Because she knew her that well, didn't she?

Emily smiled, knowing that Spencer wouldn't care about not watching this. She moved herself until be sitting on her girlfriend's lap looking at her, her back given to the TV. Slowly, her hands moved to Spencer's face, forcing their lips together. Spencer's lips were the sweetest lips Emily had kissed in her life, even if they always tasted a little like coffee. They were both soft and warm, but they could be passionate and rough when they needed to be. Kissing Spencer had become Emily's new hobby, and she feared that she couldn't stop it. When they weren't kissing, she was always fantasizing about it.

Spencer felt Emily's tongue tracing her lower lip, and she quickly opened her mouth, deepening the kiss. Her hands started moving from Emily's shoulders to her lower back, playing with the lower of her t-shirt. Slowly, she sliced her hands inside that damn t-shirt that was keeping her from touching Emily's soft skin, and her hands rested now directly on Emily's lower back's skin. Emily started kissing Spencer's neck, making her moan and dig her nails on her back, probably leaving there some scratches that they would later worry about. Emily bit on Spencer's pulse point, leaving her teeth's mark there. She sucked and traced the wound with her tongue, making sure of leaving a big hickey. When she was happy with her work, she whispered, "Mine."

Spencer chuckled. "Why do I have to be yours if you say you aren't mine?"

"Because if I were yours, then I would have to do all those dirty things you want me to do whenever you wanted me to do them." Emily kissed Spencer's neck again.

"It doesn't seem like I need to force you to do this, honey." Spencer giggled playfully, knowing that Emily was hers whether she wanted to admit it or not.

"I don't wanna do this, but here you are, with all your sexiness, teasing me with your skillful hand..." Emily kissed Spencer's lips again, and the kiss quickly got more and more heated. Not wanting to wait anymore to feel Spencer's skin, Emily took her girlfriend's shirt and pulled, making the buttons fly all over the room. Spencer looked at her astonished, suddenly aroused by her rough behavior. Before things could get to the non-return point, Spencer stopped Emily and looked into her eyes.

"Em, you know I love you, and you know I want you, but unless you wanna get your hands full of blood I think we'll have to stop."

Emily laughed at Spencer's choice of words. How could she be always be so wonderful? "You amaze me, Spencer." She sat back on the couch, kissing Spencer's lips softly and taking a sip from her drink.

They cuddled and watched three more films, 'til it was dark outside and Emily decided it was time to go home. She drove all the way to her house with a stupid grin on her face, and she went straight to her bed, not before kissing her mother good night. When she was trying to burn every single moment of the afternoon on her mind, her phone chirmed in her nightstand. She had a new text, blocked ID.

"Alex and Toby weren't hers, and she forgot about them. How long would it take her to move on from a poor swimmer like you, Em? -A"

**A/N I know I said "cuddling" in my last chapter, and maybe I wanted you to think that there would happen something more, but… Well, it was an actual cuddling afternoon. I'm sorry if you're disappointed, but I love teasing games :)**

**Yesterday I've been writing 'til 5 am, but I won't be able to update anything tomorrow since I finally have my concert and I've been writing and reading instead of rehearsing (and now I feel guilty), and I just hope that it goes well, because my neck aches like hell because of my "late night activities".**

**Anyway, I think it's a little too late for the part of "read and enjoy", but not for remembering that reviews are always welcomed :)**


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N 19 chapters. Who would think I would go this crazy about writing something? Anyway, I'm already thinking about how can I stop this, but I can't find a proper way, so it seems like I'll have something to write… at least 'til January 8****th****. Before any more thing, I'll just say I'm sorry because this is the shorter chapter ever, but I just felt like writing it and I didn't have enough time. Also, you can take a look at my Sparia fic, We belong together, if you want to.**

**Craycrayforshay****: Thank you for your support and thank you for wishing me good luck with the concert :) Sadly, it was one of my worst performances (and I've done lots and lots in these 10 years I've been studying music), but it doesn't matter. And you don't have to thank me for this fic, I'm the one who has to thank you for reading and always letting me know your opinion!**

**Here it goes! Read, enjoy and review!**

**Chapter 19.**

Emily tried not to worry about A's text, but it was slowly getting into her mind. She knew she was letting A win by doing it, but she was still worried. What if A had heard them talking? Her phone chirped on her pocket, making her jump. Her chemistry teacher looked at her disappointed, letting her know that she had to put her phone off, or at least silence it.

"Good morning, princess. I hope you're on for our Friday sleepover tonight at Hanna's. xxxxxx" Emily smiled, Spencer was always so sweet… She couldn't imagine how angry she would get if one day she discovered that Emily still had doubts about her love. Since she got the text, she couldn't focus anymore on the lesson, so she started drawing hearts on her notebook. When the bell finally rang, she ran to Spencer's locker.

"Good morning, sweetie, did you get the text?" Spencer left a lingering kiss on her girlfriend's lips.

"Yes, I did, but Mr. Smith got angry when he heard the phone, so I couldn't answer." Emily pouted, making Spencer kiss her again.

"And the answer is…"

"Yes, I'll go to the sleepover, but only if you promise me that you'll behave." Emily winked to Spencer, with a sexy half smile spreading on her lips.

"That's not fair! You are the one who has to change her behavior!" Spencer pretended to get angry, but a chaste kiss from Emily made her smile again.

"I'll see you at Hanna's at 7, I have to go back to class and I won't see you at lunch."

"Why?" This time Spencer was the one to pout.

"Because I have to talk to my coach…" Emily sighed, trying to avoid why she had to talk with her coach. Since she started dating Spencer, she had lost a few practices, and she got distracted too much. While she was on the water, the only thing she could think about was Spencer, and she knew she had to do something about it, or she would lose her opportunity to get a scholarship.

"Okay, I'll see you later, then." Spencer walked Emily to her class, kissing her at the door, and only letting her go when the teacher appeared.

The day passed as a more or less normal day at a high school. When the bell from the final period rang, Emily and Spencer went home as fast as they could, wanting to get ready for the night.

Spencer knocked on Hanna's door, seeing that neither Aria nor Emily was there. "Good night, blondie."

"Good night, Spence." Hanna greeted her friend with a big hug. "You on for a few shots before the girls arrive?"

"You know I am always on." Spencer laughed at her friend's suggestion.

They walked to Hanna's kitchen, where she had already put a vodka bottle on the table. They drank three shots before they heard a knock on the door. It had to be the girls, so Spencer went to open the door. She felt a dizzy feeling, was she really drunk with only three shots? She opened the door, and saw that Aria and Emily were standing there talking together.

"Spencer, are you drank?" Emily asked frowning. Spencer tried to avoid the question by kissing her, but Emily pushed her away.

"Hanna, are you there?" Aria asked, running away from her friend's argument.

"In the kitchen, shortie." Hanna answered, and laughed at Aria's angry face. "Spencer, come here and help me with this bottle!"

Spencer tried to go back to the kitchen, but Emily took her arm. "Listen, I won't let you get drank, so you better stop drinking if you don't want us to have a huge argument and stop talking for a few days." Emily looked angry, and Spencer couldn't understand why. Emily was angry, because she knew Spencer could drink a lot without being wasted, and she hated seeing her like this only by drinking a few shots because it remembered her of when A had drugged her. Emily kissed Spencer's lips, and, taking her hand, she leaned her to the kitchen.

Before they reached the kitchen, Spencer pushed Emily to the closed door and kissed her passionately. Emily could taste the alcohol on her girlfriend's mouth, but she didn't care as long as it was Spencer's mouth she was kissing.

"I love you, Emily Fields." Spencer smiled before letting Emily lean her again to the kitchen.

"I love you too, Spencer Hastings, and I won't let anything happen to you."

They walked inside the kitchen, hand by hand, and when Aria and Hanna saw them, they both stopped whispering. Emily shot them a death glare, knowing they were talking about them.

"What do you say girls about playing truth or dare?" Hanna asked with a huge smile, looking at Emily's eyes.

Before Emily could refuse the offer, Spencer shouted "Yes!" and both Aria and Hanna started laughing at Emily's face. "Okay…" She sighed.

Hanna served them four glasses, and started talking. "I start with you, Emily, truth or dare?"

"Truth." Emily wasn't a girl to choose dare if she wasn't wasted.

"Did you and Spencer have sex when someone could see you, if we don't count when we heard you two having sex?"

"Yes." Emily whispered, blushing until her face became totally red. "My turn! Aria, truth or dare?"

"Truth!" Aria smiled at Emily, thinking she would get an easy question just because it was sweet Emily.

"Did you… have sex with Ezra at school?"

Aria opened her usually enormous eyes in shock. "No!" Spencer and Hanna laughed at Aria's shock, and Emily seemed relieved that they had forgotten about her previous answer. "Stop laughing! Spencer, truth or dare?"

"Dare, of course." Spencer smiled at her friend.

"I dare you to make out with Emily for at least three minutes aaaand you have to end with your shirt off."

Emily threw a death glare at Aria, seeing that this was her revenge for her question. Spencer kissed Emily passionately, alcohol running through her veins. They quickly deepened the kiss, letting their tongues meet inside their mouths. Before the three minutes had ran off, Spencer's shirt was on the floor and Emily's hands were on her breasts, forgetting both of them about their friends being there.

They stopped the kiss and looked at their friends. Hanna and Aria's faces were blushed, both of them regretting having dared Spencer to do that. Before any of them could say anything, Hanna suggested, "I think it's time for dinner!"


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N Well, this is also a little short, but today I had a busy day and I'm not feeling well, so I just came up with this and decided to write it before I forgot.**

**Craycrayforshay****: I know that a sleepover and playing truth or dare is a little cliché, but I'd always had this imagine in my mind of Hanna taking alcohol to everywhere, and since they were at her home I can't imagine them doing anything but drinking :)**

**That's all, read, enjoy and review!**

**Chapter**** 20.**

The girls went to bed after watching a film and drinking an entire bottle of vodka. Aria and Emily had decided not to drink, but at the end they drank a few glasses. Spencer and Hanna were unable to go to Hanna's room, so Aria and Emily had to help them. First, they took Hanna upstairs and forced her to get inside her bed. When they went back to help Spencer, they couldn't find her. Emily went pale, remembering the last time she got wasted. Aria saw the look on her eyes, and taking the swimmer hands between hers she said, "Don't worry Em, we'll find her."

They looked in every single room of the house, but there was no trace of Spencer's presence. Emily could feel her heart getting smaller and smaller with each empty room, and when they were back in the kitchen she started crying. "This can't be happening, not again and not with Spencer."

Aria tried to find some comforting words, but she knew it would never be enough, so she just threw her arms around her friend, holding her in a tight embrace.

"What's going on here?" Hanna appeared upstairs, with messy hair and her make up looking terrible.

"Spencer disappeared." Aria answered before Emily could start crying harder. Instead of answering, Hanna went back upstairs and appeared a few seconds later with her face cleaned, a hoodie on and something in her hands that the girls couldn't see.

"Don't worry Em, we'll find her." Saying that, the blonde took a glass of water and two aspirins, and that was the moment when Aria saw the object in her hands.

"Hanna Marin, what the hell are you doing with a gun!?"

"Oh, shut up, Ar! It's Caleb's gun and we need it to find Spencer. I won't let A take away any more from my life." Aria and Emily looked at each other, scared by Hanna's words. Was she saying that she could really shout that gun against a person? They were so afraid Hanna could do something crazy, that they decided to go out with her.

When they opened the front door, they saw Spencer sitting on the driveway. She turned to look at them, and her face frightened them more than anything Hanna could have said before. Spencer's eyes looked lost, sad, without that spark that'd always been there since she started dating Emily. They were red and puffy, probably from crying. Her nose had been bleeding, or at least that's what they thought, since it was almost as full as blood as her shirt was. She looked lost, like she wasn't really there, or like she couldn't see them. Something big had happened there, and seeing Spencer, who was supposed to be the strongest of them, in that state made them run to hug her.

"Have you been here all the time?" Emily asked her girlfriend with her sweetest voice.

"I don't know..." Emily looked at Hanna and Aria when she heard Spencer's answer. It sounded like when A drugged her, and she was afraid what could have happened to her girlfriend.

"Do you remember anything, Spence?" Aria pushed Emily towards Hanna, so now the blonde was hugging the swimmer and she was asking Spencer.

"I remember everything." Spencer's voice became lower and lower, and the girls had to force their ears to hear her answer.

"Why are you here?" Aria insisted, knowing that something important had happened and fearing that it could have something to do with A.

"When you went upstairs with Hanna, I saw him. He was standing there, looking at me, wearing a black hoodie. A was here."

Aria looked at Hanna and Emily, seeing that they were shocked that Spencer was talking about a "him". "How do you know it was a boy instead of a girl? Mona looked as fast and strong as a guy, you know..."

"Because I saw his face."

Emily escaped Hanna's embrace and ran towards her girlfriend, hugging her tightly, kissing her forehead.

"Spence, this is important." Hanna wanted to know who was A, she couldn't wait until Emily decided Spencer was ready to talk. "Spencer, look at me. Who is A, Spencer?"

"He is A, Hanna!"

"Who is he!?" Hanna lost her patience, she wasn't in the mood for all of this conversation.

Spencer sighed and muttered and answer, but only Emily could hear it. She stopped hugging her girlfriend and looked at her terrified. "I think you drank too much, Spencer."

"We talked, Emily."

"You talked to him?" Emily was between feeling angry because Spencer had talked to someone dangerous and a certain feeling she hadn't had until she met Spencer. "You talked to him after everything that happened between you two?"

Hanna and Aria looked confused. Who was he? Aria was too shocked to talk, so Hanna was the one to ask, as always, "Who the hell is he, Emily?"

"Toby, he is Toby!" Emily shouted her words full of anger. "Toby is A. Toby has been helping Mona, messing with us, playing with Spencer's heart, making me think that we were friends, making us think that he was helping us fighting against A, against himself! Maybe he even killed Alison!" They'd never seen Emily like that before. She was hurt, feeling betrayed by her friend.

"Emily, calm down..." Aria tried to make her see that she was hurting Spencer with her words. Toby may have been Emily's friend, but he had also been Spencer's boyfriend.

"I knew it." Spencer stood and walked away from her friends. "I knew it, and I didn't want to believe it, so I decided not to tell you, because then I could think that it was my mind playing tricks with me, but I just knew it. I saw him in this black hoodie and his glove..."

"You knew it, and you decided not to tell us?" Emily had got even angrier at Spencer's words. Hanna and Aria looked at her, trying to make her understand that Spencer had done what she thought was right, but she was too lost in her own mind to see them. "You didn't want to believe it because you still love him, don't you?"

Spencer opened her eyes shocked. She had feared this moment since she first kissed Emily. "Emily, you know I love you."

"Answer my question, Spencer."

"I love you! But I can't forget all the feelings and the moments I shared with him in just a few weeks, okay?"

"Just a few weeks, that's what this is for you? A few weeks? Because for me, this weeks I spent with you are the most important weeks of my life, and they made me forget about any other thing."

Hanna and Aria took each other's hands. This was their biggest nightmare, losing both of her friends because an argument.

"Emily, I love you more than anything in this world, and I find it so ridiculous that you don't know that. If I told you that I love you, is because I love you, and it doesn't matter what I felt for Toby, because you are you and he is he, and the one my heart decided to love was you."

"Your heart decided that it was me?"

"Oh, Em, stop asking shit and kiss her! She loves you!" Hanna couldn't stand there being quiet while two of her best friends were arguing, but her comment made Aria elbow her in the stomach.

Spencer took the distraction as an opportunity to approach Emily and press their lips together. At first, she tried to resist, but it was Spencer Hastings, the sexiest girl on Rosewood, who was kissing her, so she just let herself go inside her girlfriend's open arms, kissing her back. "I love you, Miss Fields, and don't you dare to forget it again." Spencer whispered to Emily's lips.

Emily looked at Spencer's eyes and said, whispering too, "I love you too, Miss Hastings."

They stared at each other's eyes for a long while, forgetting about everything around them, but it was getting darker and colder, and neither Hanna nor Aria wanted to let them alone outside the house. Before Hanna could open her mouth, Aria started talking. "I'm so sorry, girls, but we should go back inside, you know..."

Emily and Spencer smiled and went to her friends walking hand by hand, getting together in Hanna's home.

"I'm not tired anymore, you wanna drink something?" Hanna came back to herself, realizing she wanted to forget about all this thing by drinking alcohol.

Both Aria and Emily exclaimed, "Hanna!" slapping her arm, making Spencer laugh.

"I think we've had enough for a long while, Han. What do you say about a movie?"


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N Here goes something more. Drama, drama and more drama. Anyway, hope you like it, because I'm already writing the next chapter and… well, that's secret :)**

**That's all. Read, enjoy, review.**

**Chapter 21.**

A whole week passed by, and Spencer seemed to had abandoned herself. She was lost. She'd never been so lost in her entire life. The only person in her heart was Emily, but the only thing she could do was hating herself. She had trusted Toby, she had fell in love with him. She had even given her virginity to him. Even if all of that was heartbreaking, the thing that had gotten her in that state was knowing that Emily had trusted him too. Emily was the sweetest girl Spencer ever met, and knowing that she was so close to someone who'd hurt her was killing her insides.

Spencer was so debasteted that she'd even skipped class two days. Two days! Spencer Hastings missing a class was something unreal, but she missing two days in a row sounded more like some kind of science fiction story.

On the other hand, Emily wasn't really that broken because of Toby being A. She was more upset at Spencer's state. It hurts seeing someone you love caring that much about someone they loved in the past, before you. It hurts, and Emily was feeling it. She tried to cheer Spencer up, but anything seemed to be enough. When they kissed, it felt like the less passionate thing ever. Kissing Spencer's soft lips was starting to feel like biting on a very good looking cake, just to see that it tastes like hell. And there was nothing to say about sex, only that Emily had a huge lack of it, and it'd only been a week.

The night they found about Toby being A, Spencer had confessed that she had suspect of him. Also, she had insisted that the only one she loved was Emily, and she believed it, but these days things seemed to be getting harder between them, and she wasn't ready for another heart break. Ever time Spencer opened her mouth, which ws becoming more and more unusual, her stomach curled up and ached, her full body getting ready for hearing something she'd been having nightmares about. She was sure she was a mistake for Spencer, but she wasn't ready for end their relationship yet.

Hanna and Aria were trying to help their friends figure things out, but Emily seemed to have gone back inside herself, and Spencer'd never been easy to get to. After a long argument about it, Hanna decided how they would act. "I get Emily and you Spencer."

"Why do I have to deal with the worst one? She's so broken, and I don't know if I can help her." Aria loved Spencer, they were best friends, but she wasn't prepared for this. Spencer was supposed to be the strongest of them all, and now she was just so vulnerable...

"You get Spencer because you are 'Team Sparia', honey." Hanna ended the talk and walked away, not wanting to admit that she was afraid of seeing Spencer without the masc she was wearing to school those days. She seemed normal, but even Jenna back in her blind days could have seen that she wasn't okay.

Aria sighed and followed her friend wth her eyes, seeing that Emily was standing alone in front of Spencer's locker. Knowing that Spencer wasn't going to appear, she decided to go talk to her. "Hey Em, is everything okay?"

"Did you know that we, Spencer and I, once ditched school to be together?" Emily's eyes were lost, probably remembering all of her happy moments with her girlfriend.

"Em, you'll get through this. You love each other, and that's stronger than anything." Aria told Emily the things she had told herself a million times, whenever things weren't okay with Ezra.

"I just don't know anymore, Aria." Emily's eyes came back to see, locking her gaze with Aria's. "I really do love her, but we know A is something too big for us. Anything is over with Toby, it's called 'A team' for some reason. They are too much for us."

Aria found herself speechless at Emily's words. She had never thought she could be so devastated, but she sounded really serious about everything she'd said. Anyway, knowing that she had to say something to try and comfort her, she just answered, "You know she loves you too, and I'm sure that eventually things will go back to normal and you'll be happy again."

Aria left Emily standing there, and went to her class before Emily could open her mouth again. She was afraid her friend was right, and she couldn't let A get to her, even if it was through Emily's words. She texted Hanna, asking her to talk to Emily as soon as possible. Lunch would be a good moment.

Lunch came, and Hanna found Emily before she could reach their table. Aria would be sitting there waiting for Spencer, and she wanted to talk to Emily alone. Hanna took Emily's wrist and dragged her to the nearest restroom, closing the door and looking under the doors to confirm they were alone.

"What are you doing, Hanna?" Emily seemed everything but happy about Hanna's way of get her to talk.

"I'm locking us here until you decide to open your mouth and talk to me."

"You can't do that."

Hanna laughed dryly. "Oh, sure I can, and unless you wanna miss lunch you'll start telling me how you feel about this whole Toby-being-A thing right now."

Emily looked at her angry. She knew Hanna, and she knew she wasn't lying about missing lunch or whatever class they had next, she knew she had to talk, and the sooner, the better. "I'm not feeling okay, that's all. Toby was Spencer's ex and my friend, and he betrayed both of us. I'm angry, furious, sad, but what I really feel is betrayed. Betrayed by one of my best friends."

"Oh, Em, you should've told me." Hanna hugged Emily tightly, even if Emily didn't hug her back. "Things will get better, you'll see."

"If Mona, Toby, or whoever A is now doesn't kill us first." Emily started shaking on Hanna's arms.

"No one will kill us, and especially you. Spencer won't let anything happen to you." Hanna struggled to find anything more to say, but she couldn't find anything comforting enough. They stood there, hugging, until Hanna's phone chirped with a text from Aria telling her that Spencer was nowhere to be seen.

They went to eat something, and Aria hugged Hanna when she saw Emily smiling again. Later, they went back to class, and time passed fast until the bell ringed signaling the end of last period.

Spencer went home after waiting for almost half an hour until making sure Emily, Hanna and Aria had left. She didn't want to talk, she wasn't in her best mood. She was scared she could do something that would make her lose Emily forever, and she knew she wouldn't be able to cope without her. She knew it wasn't Emily's fault, of course, but she couldn't look at Emily knowing that she had been in danger because she had never realized she was dating their stalker. Emily wouldn't say anything about it, but it was because she was so sweet she would never throw something like that at her.

When Spencer opened the door to her house, Melissa was sitting there, apparently waiting for her. "Spencer, I don't know what's going on, but I saw Emily crying on the street a few times, and you don't look like yourself." Melissa started walking towards Spencer and grabber her shoulder, forcing her to look at her eyes. "I hope you know you can trust me with anything you need. I know things weren't okay between us in the past, but you are my little sister, and I love you."

Spencer burst into tears, letting her sister hug her. "I messed up everything; Emily will hate me, if she doesn't do it yet."

"Emily loves you, Spencer. She would never hate you, and you should know that." Melissa had never been that worried about Spencer. What was wrong with her sister? She'd always been weird, but this was too much even for her.

"No, I didn't take care of her as I should've done, and now I can't look at her, even if I know she needs me."

"Spencer, you have to go and talk to her, that's the only way to make things go to normal again. I don't want to see you broken." Melissa pushed her sister towards the door, trying to make her understand that she wanted her to go see her girlfriend and talk to her.

Spencer took the hint and turned around to face her car. She started walking slowly, forming a mental conversation to prepare herself to what was about to come. She had to pretend she wasn't depressed, and she also had to tell Emily she was sorry about her reaction. She had reached her car and opened the door, when she heard someone calling her name. She turned around sighing, believing it was Melissa again, but her mouth drop open when she saw Pam Fields standing there, with Hanna and Aria at her back.

"Spencer, we need to talk." Spencer had never seen Mrs. Fields so angry in all her life, and she had seen her angry many times, when Emily came out of the closet, when she discovered their relationship… "Spencer, you are hurting my daughter, and I won't let you do that."

"I'm sorry Mrs. Fields, I know how I'm making Emily feel." Spencer sent a death glare to her friends standing there without helping her. She turned slightly, to see her sister looking at them from the door. Sighing, Spencer decided she should tell them where she was going to go when they appeared, "Actually, I was going to talk to her before you all appeared so if you could just let me go… I would really appreciate that."

Hanna and Aria looked at Melissa, their mouths open. This wasn't the Spencer they all knew and loved, this was a totally different person. The preppy Spencer that was their friend never would talk to an adult like that. They had to bring the old Spencer back, and Emily was the only one that could do it.

Spencer entered her car and drove to her girlfriend's house, leaving her best friends, her sister and her girlfriend's mom at her own house. She knocked at the door, and Emily opened it, her eyes red from crying.

"Emily, we need to talk."

Emily closed her eyes at Spencer's serious expression. This was the end, she knew it. She had been waiting for it. "Sure…" Tears running down her cheeks, Emily walked to her kitchen, Spencer following her closely.


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N Here goes chapter 20. It's the shorter I've ever written, but I found it so hard to write because of… you'll have to read it if you wanna know.**

**Craycrayforshay****: I'm sorry for the cliffhanger :( you'll find out about their relationship, so I won't tell you :) And thank you for your support since the beginning of this story, I think I wouldn't have continued it if it weren't for your reviews. Again, thank you :)**

**xxx-Over-the-storm-xxx****: omg, I can't believe you are actually reading this :D I mean, I've read your fanfics a few days ago, and I totally fell for them, and knowing that you really like this and that you read it all is something like a honor… :') Sorry for the cliffhanger, I just felt like doing it. I'll try to update soon, since this is a very short chapter.**

**Warning: there's some kind of serious theme here, so please be careful and if you don't like it just stop reading and… I don't know, this is just to prepare you, not to tell you what to do.**

**Finally, here it goes. Read, enjoy and review :)**

**Chapter 20.**

Emily sat at her counter, looking at Spencer's face. She'd never seen her this bad. Her hair was messy, her eyes puffy, her lips pale and her clothes looked like she'd slept on them. 'How could the strong Spencer I fell in love with transform into this blurry shadow?' Emily wondered, still waiting for her girlfriend to start talking. It didn't matter what was she going to tell her, because she had already prepared herself for the worst, and even if she still loved her with all her heart, she understood that love not always lasts forever.

Spencer stared at Emily's eyes, trying to figure out what she was thinking about before saying anything. Was she tired of standing her? "Emily..." It was merely a whisper, but Spencer put all her heart in the word.

Emily looked at Spencer's eyes, locking their gazes for a few seconds, feeling every single moment of their relationship coming back to her mind. "Spencer, please..."

"Please?" Spencer forgot everything she wanted to say when she heard Emily's broken voice begging her.

"Please, don't say you don't love me anymore."

Spencer's face fell. How could Emily think that she didn't love her after everything they'd been through? She thought about it for a moment, realizing that these days she had been everything but herself, and it could have fooled Emily, making her think that it was over. "Emily, there's no way I could stop loving you, even if I wanted to try."

Emily left out a sigh of relieve, but she quickly realized that the fact that Spencer still loved her didn't mean that she still wanted to be with her. Finally finding the guts to put into words her biggest fear, she said, "Spencer, if you don't want our relationship to continue, please just tell me and leave."

"How can you think that I would somehow break up with you?" Spencer was astonished for Emily's words, but she quickly added before she could get an answer, "Unless you want me to go, then I would leave you and pray every night for your happiness."

At those words, Emily threw herself at Spencer, hugging her tightly, not wanting to let her go. "I would never ever ask you to leave me, Spencer."

"Emily, I love you so much... When I came home today, Melissa made me see that I was losing you, and I was so scared it could be truth..." Spencer started crying before ending her speech, and Emily kissed sweetly her cheeks.

"You won't lose me, Spence. I promise." Emily's words seemed to comfort Spencer, and she relaxed her body in her girlfriend's arms, hugging her back. Trying to move them to the couch, Emily took Spencer's wristed and pulled, gaining a gasp from the back of her throat. "What was that?"

Spencer's eyes were full of fear. "Nothing, you surprised me."

Emily knew Spencer was lying, but she couldn't tell why, so she took her girlfriend's wrist again, making her gasp again. Before Spencer could stop her, she took her shirt's sleeve and put it up. There was the reason why she had been gasping: a relatively fresh cut. "Spencer, what is this?"

"It was an accident."

"Don't you dare to lie to me again right after we are okay again, because I don't know if I could take it."

Spencer started crying again. "I did it, two days ago."

Emily opened and closed her mouth, unable to find anything to say. How could she not notice that Spencer was so broken to cut herself? "Why?" It was easy. A question to answer with an explanation, not only yes or no.

"Have you ever heard what people say about cutting? They say that physical pain takes away the emotional pain, so I just…" Spencer sighed, looking at the floor. She knew Emily was crying, and she didn't want to see the pain on her face. "I just tried it, because I couldn't handle it anymore, but when I saw the blood running down my arm… Oh God, I just wanted to forget, but it wouldn't stop bleeding, and I fainted, hitting my head on the fall. When I woke up, it wasn't bleeding anymore, and I felt weak, so I took some vitamins and went to sleep…" Carefully, she looked at Emily's eyes to whisper, "I'm sorry."

Emily hugged her again, saying, "No, I'm the one who's sorry, I left you when you needed me the most." Spencer hugged her back, letting her head rest on her girlfriend's shoulder. "Just promise me you won't do it again."

"I promise." Spencer lied to her girlfriend. She couldn't promise that, because it worked. She had forgotten about everything, she had really forgotten about all the emotional pain. At least, she added to herself that she would try, because it scared the hell out of her to see all that blood going out of her.

Emily took Spencer's face between her hands. "I don't want you to promise anything you can't promise, but at least I hope you'll talk to me if you feel like doing it again or something."

"That's something I can promise." Spencer showed a shy smiled to her girlfriend, ashamed she had seen like that. Emily kissed her cheeks, taking her salty tears away.

Finally, Emily managed to sit Spencer on her couch, and they looked at each other for a long while. Carefully, trying not to scare her, Emily leaned forward to kiss Spencer's lips. It was a chaste kiss, full of love, to show her girlfriend that she cared about her. Spencer understood Emily's message, and threw her arms around her neck, trying to make the kiss last without deepening it. Emily moved closer to her girlfriend, putting her hands on her waits. They pulled away when they felt the lack of oxygen, but they didn't lose their positions.

"I love you, Spencer." It was the nth time she said it, but it still had the same meaning. She loved Spencer Jill Hastings with all her heart, and she couldn't stop loving her just because she was fragile, because we all are fragile.

Spencer smiled. It was the sweetest thing Emily had ever seen, it made her want to hug her and never let her go. She seemed very strong, but deep down Spencer was just a normal teenager, and Emily just realized she loved that part of her too, even if this was the first prove she had of the existence of that part of her girlfriend. They hugged each other, looking at the TV, which Emily decided to turn on as background sound.

Time passed, and they stood in the same position. It could have been only five minutes or a few hours, but none of them cared as long as they were with each other. Sadly, Pam Fields walked inside her house, giving them back to reality. "Tell her I'm asleep, I don't wanna go home", Spencer whispered into Emily's ear.

"Mom, she's asleep, so please be quiet." Emily wasn't bad at lying, even if she hated doing it.

"Take her to your bedroom, I'll let you sleep together if you promise to leave the door open." Mrs. Fields knew she couldn't send Spencer back to her home after everything that had happened that day, even if she didn't understand why it had happened. The only thing she knew was that her daughter seemed happier now, and it was the only thing that mattered for her.

After Pam Fields went to sleep, Spencer kissed Emily's lips and they went to the swimmer's room together, without letting go of each other's hands.

**A/N Okay, I'm sorry for bringing the cutting theme on, it surprised me that when I realized what I was writing, but I couldn't change it because… well, because of life things and all that stuff, and I'm really sorry if it offends you, but I'm not in the mood to write happy endings, I even cried while writing it (I know it's lame, because it could be harder. I know). Anyway, the next chapter will be here soon and you know what they say, "it gets better".**


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N Before chapter 23 starts, I just wanna thank you for reading, and answer some reviews.**

**Craycrayforshay****: I'm so sorry it depresses you, I'll try not to make it last too long. And I miss the happy Spencer too, I'll try to get her back soon :)**

**lostsoulsaveme****: thank you!**

**xxx-Over-the-storm-xxx****: I'm glad you liked the chapter. Of course you can ask me anything, it's not like anyone who knows me will read this, or at least they won't care. First of all, reading your story made me cry for like a whole night, and then I was at school and I had to try so hard not to cry again, and at the end I went back home just to see my eyes were red and my face looked awful, but I just loved reading it so much that I wanted to read it again. Now, answering your question, I've never been there (yet), but it doesn't meant that I've never tried or anything, it's just that I have this stupid fear of blood that keeps stopping me, and I'm glad that I'm so weak, because I'm afraid that if one day I overcome it I'll go too far, and I think I'm not ready to be gone (yet). I think I could say I'm standing on the edge, and whenever I think I'll finally fall down I just remember that I'll have to deal with my blood, and it makes me go bed and cry myself 'til I'm finally asleep, being careful not to wake my sister up. I don't really believe in all that "it gets better" stuff, and since I can't stop this whole shit going on my life, let's just say that I found other way to keep fighting and now I have something more like a skinny problem, but at least I'm glad it won't leave any scar on my body (which makes me feel worse, because it's soooo superficial of me…) and I know I should think that, but I'm not ready to change. And I cried while writing it, because I'm just this stupidly weak, and I think that deep down I just envy Spencer, because she had the guts to do something I can't do, and that makes me think I'm even weaker, because this Spencer is my Spencer, and I'm the one making her do all that stuff, and it only makes me cry even more… Hope this answer your question, I know I digress too much, I'm sorry…**

**Chapter 23.**

Emily led Spencer to her bedroom, being careful not to be seen by her mother. "Do you wanna take a shower?" Emily found herself talking to Spencer the same way she used to talk to little children back on the times when she had to babysit her neighbors' kids.

"No, I'm fine." Thankfully, Spencer was oblivious to her girlfriend's tone. She seemed lost, which only made Emily worry even more. "I just want you to hug me all night, if that's not a problem."

"You don't even have to ask that, love." Emily smiled sweetly at Spencer, knowing that she could break down at any moment, and fearing that she wouldn't be able to bring her back to herself. She took her girlfriend's hand and pulled until make her sit on her bed, then she pushed her shoulders gently, making her lie down, her empty eyes staring at the ceiling. She took away Spencer's clothes, being even more careful and sweet than before. She was treating Spencer as she herself had hated to be treated, but she couldn't avoid feeling like she was made out of glass. Spencer was her precious, invaluable doll made of glass, and she had to take care of her, at least until she became again the warrior princess she used to be.

Emily turned the lights off, and both she and Spencer went inside the bed, lacing their fingers. "I'm sorry", Spencer whispered to the dark.

"You don't have to be sorry about anything, Spence." Emily turned to face her girlfriend, who was still looking at the ceiling without showing any expression in her face. Slowly, the swimmer took Spencer in a tight embrace, trying to comfort her.

"I am sorry", Spencer repeated quietly. Emily hugged her tighter, kissing her forehead.

An hour passed, but it felt like years for Emily. She was really worried about Spencer; she felt like all of this was her fault, because she hadn't support her enough when she had needed her the most. Her phone chirped in her school bag, and she tried to move without waking Spencer up, which would have been a difficult task if the brunette hadn't been so tired. When she was finally out of the bed, Emily stared lovingly at her girlfriend for a long time, wondering how something so beautiful could be so broken. She took her phone, and saw she had a new text. Blocked ID. It made her laugh dryly (and quietly).

They hadn't heard from A since the Toby incident, and she had been waiting for this all the week. Maybe she wasn't the strongest of the four friends, but at that moment she felt like she could beat that damn stalker and end the nightmare they were being forced to live. Thinking about how much she had changed since when she officially was the weakest link, she opened the text. "It seems like your little girlfriend is going to do my work, she only has to press a little harder her razor blade. Take a look at this and stop her, because I'm not even over with her and I won't let her go that easy. –A"

Well, that was unexpected. A was asking her to save Spencer. Attached to the text, there was a url. Emily quickly tried to enter on the web, but it wouldn't charge on her phone, so she took Spencer's phone and entered the url again. It quickly opened, and Emily reminded herself that she needed a new mobile phone. At first, she couldn't understand A's message, it was a blog. Why would A want her to see a blog? Was it like Maya's blog? She read a few entries, and she snapped herself when she realized why A wanted her to read it. It was Spencer's blog, which by the way was secret and none of her friends had any idea about it, and apparently it had existed for about two years.

Making sure that Spencer was still asleep, Emily started reading an entry from two days ago. "_Love. Such a silly thing, isn't it? If you are lucky enough, maybe you'll find the love of your life, they'll love you back, you'll marry, buy a big house, have children and live happily ever after. Maybe you can even be lucky enough to marry and have the house and the children without the love part, but it would be enough for some of you, wouldn't it? Then there's the true story. You met the love of your life, they love you back, everything's perfect and suddenly… Bam! You realize the truth. You are not enough, and you'll never be enough, but you aren't brave enough to leave them be happy with someone who really deserves them, someone who isn't and never will be you._"

Emily stood there, in the middle of her room, astonished. Did Spencer really think that she was not enough for her? Because she was enough, she was more than enough. She was everything she wanted, everything she needed, everything she'd ever dreamt about. She truly believed that Spencer was the only one, and she felt somehow hurt that Spencer disagreed with her. However, the only thing in her mind at that moment was the fact that Spencer thought she wasn't enough for her, the crazy fact that a Hastings thought she wasn't enough for a swimmer. Hoping that it was only a sad moment, she decided to read the next post, hoping it would be different, maybe happier.

"_Have you ever thought about how wonderful blood is? It's red, brilliant red, and it runs through or bodies pushed by our heart, but when you let it go free it just runs away from its home. It's like a puppy. You have it since forever, you always took care of it, but suddenly one day you thought about letting it run free, and it decided to abandon you forever. Well, maybe it isn't the best simile, but I think you can understand me. One day you have a lot of blood inside, and the next day you just feel like letting it run out. Sometimes, it even makes bubbles, which makes me think that maybe bleeding is not a very bad thing. Anyway, maybe I should stop, because if I keep talking you'll end hating on me, like everyone does. But it doesn't really matter, because I deserve it. I deserve all your hate. So here I am, hate me. Don't worry, you won't offend me, because, oh surprise, you will never ever hate me more than I already hate me. Maybe I should go and let everyone around me be happy. Everyone would be happier without me._"

Emily started crying. Was Spencer really saying that she could kill herself? It seemed like she thought everyone would be better without her. Well, she certainly never thought about Emily, because the swimmer knew she wouldn't be able to cope without Spencer near her, even if it had to be only as a friend. She had had enough drama for a long while, and she decided to put an end to all of this thing going on before it could become unstoppable. She went to shake Spencer, but she remembered something, so she stopped herself and went back to the phone. She looked for the day they first kissed, and there it was.

"_Maybe love is not just a dream. Maybe we are meant to find someone and be happy. Well, you certainly can envy me, because I found it, and I won't let it go." _This was her Spencer. Concise, without hesitation or digressing. How could someone so happy become so sad in just a few seconds? She decided to wake her up, because she needed to talk to her and she knew she wouldn't be able to wait until next morning.

Shaking Spencer's shoulders broke Emily's heart. She looked really peaceful lying there, but it had to be done. "Spencer, we need to talk."

"Emily, please, don't leave me." Spencer started crying before Emily could say anything. Why was she thinking that she was going to leave her? That meant that she truly believed what she had written in her blog, and that was too hard for sweet Emily.

Pushing her thoughts away, Emily started talking quietly, remembering her mother was sleeping a few doors away. "I will never leave you, Spencer, and I don't understand why you think I would do it."

"Because you deserve better than me."

"No. You are better than I deserve, and I'm afraid that if you really can't see it I'll have to ask for help." Emily was afraid. She hadn't been this afraid since Alison disappeared and they didn't know anything about her. Should she talk with Hanna and Aria? Sure she would do it, but Spencer needed something more. Maybe she should talk to Mrs. Hastings, she was a strong, intelligent woman, and since lately they were having a good relationship she was sure she was the one who would help her. Now, how to tell Spencer?

"Please, don't tell Hanna and Aria, they would hate me." Spencer looked like a lost pussy, so fragile, tears filling her eyes.

"I won't tell them if you want, but then you have to talk with me about this blog you've been writing." Emily took the easiest solution to make Spencer talk: blackmailing.

"Oh, you saw it…" Spencer tried to find a quick explanation, and at the end she decided to tell the truth. "It's just something I started writing when Ali disappeared. It was supposed to be like a diary, but without being a diary. It would be something more like the story of my heart, without telling anything about me. I never talked about A, or said any name, not even mine…"

"Can you tell me about your latest posts?"

"I was sad, and… It's not a big deal, I promise." Spencer sighed. "I can handle it."

"No, you can't." Emily stated seriously. "I won't press you, just because I love you that much, but if I ever think that you will do something stupid I swear I'll do whatever it takes to stop you."

"Emily…" Spencer looked scared at her girlfriend's words.

"No, now it's my time to talk." Emily interrupted her, wanting to say out loud all of her feelings, because she felt like she was going to explode at any moment. "I love you, and I don't get why you are doing this, but I will always be here, with you, supporting you, doing everything you need, and knowing that you don't see it just hurts me more than anything. How can you even think that you are not enough for me? Since we first kissed, I tried my best to be enough for you, and now it's the other way around? I do everything to be with you, and you just stay there, sitting in your room writing some stupid shit about not being enough? You are more than enough, and if you don't see it then we have a problem, a very big one, because it seems like you are blind or need glasses or something. You are more than enough, and not only for me. You are more for anyone and anything in this world, and you should see it. No, you have to see it, you must to. Because if you don't believe it, then people won't believe it too, and I don't want our children to grow up on a family where one of their mothers doesn't feel equal to the other one." Emily took a deep breath, and saw that Spencer was crying in front of her. Suddenly aware that she could have somehow hurt Spencer with her words, she took her hand and whispered, "I'm sorry for getting angry, but it's the truth, Spence, and you have to see it."

"Children?" That was the only word Spencer could say between her tears.

"Yeah, children. I want to have a little Spencer and a little Emily running over our house. With a mother as beautiful as you, they would be anatomically perfect." Spencer smiled sweetly at her girlfriend's words. Children.

"I can't promise you anything, but… I can assure you that I'll try." Spencer hugged Emily, being careful not to touch her wrist with anything, since it was hurting. "I'll keep fighting for you, Em."

Emily pushed Spencer slightly away, just enough to look into her eyes and whisper, "You don't have to fight for me, you have to fight for you."

Spencer didn't know what to say, so she just pressed her lips against Emily's, trying to make her stop talking, because it was making her both better and worse. Emily kissed her back, but trying not to get things too heated, knowing that Spencer wasn't ready for that kind of stuff. Truthfully, she wasn't ready for it too.

They lay back on bed, hugging each other tightly. Before they fell asleep, Emily took Spencer's arm and pulling up her sleeve she kissed her girlfriend's wrist. "I love you, Spencer, and this scar won't change anything between us."

Tears started falling from Spencer's eyes, but she just kissed Emily's lips and whispered, "I love you too, Emily Fields."

**A/N I know, too much drama, but that's what real life is: a drama. Anyway, I'm glad I came up with the blog idea, because digressing is what I do the best, and it gave me a good opportunity, so… Hope you liked it, and don't forget to let me know your opinion!**


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N Shorter chapter today, since I just realized I hadn't written anymore of my other fanfic (We belong together) and I just started reading "The Lying Game", so I'm kinda busy… Just a few words before starting the chapter: thank you for reading.**

**Craycrayforshay****: thanks for your review, as always, and I'm glad you liked the blog idea :)**

**xxx-Over-the-storm-xxx****: okay, you've let me speechless. How to start? Well, I'm so glad you think that about the way I write, I just hope I could be as fluent at talking as I am at writing… I've been reading everything you wrote to me like all day, and I don't know what to say, only that I don't know if I should talk to you about this stuff, because I don't know, it could remind you of that time when you used to you-know-what or something, and I don't want you to feel bad or something because of me… But you know, if you're sure it would be okay, I would totally like to talk to you… Anyway, I'm happy you stopped, and thank you for everything :')**

**That's all! Read, enjoy and review!**

**Chapter 24.**

Pam Fields peering into her daughter's room awaked Emily and Spencer next day. She stood there for a while, looking at how beautifully in love they seemed, and she was glad she hadn't done anything to force them to be apart, because at that moment she totally understood that her little girl was in love with Spencer.

Emily was the first one to open her eyes, and she smiled at her mom, quietly whispering, "Thank you for let her sleep here, mom. I think she really needed some love."

"I'm glad things are good again between you two, she was so broken when I went to see her yesterday…" Pam immediately stopped talking when she saw the alarm look on Emily's face.

"You went to see her?" Spencer hadn't told her anything about her mom talking to her, and that made her feel like they were one of those regular couples with thousands of secrets between them.

"I just went to talk to her… I wanted to see if she was okay." Emily knew her mother was lying, and she couldn't let it go.

"See if she was okay?" Raising her eyebrows, Emily got ready to argue with her mom if it was necessary.

"Well, I hadn't seen her around for a week, and you seemed so sad I just thought something was wrong, so I went to talk to her, just in case she was letting you go or something." Pam loved her daughter, so she felt forced to tell her the truth. She didn't want to come back to the times when they used to lie to each other about everything, or when she used to hate on the fact that she was gay. She couldn't understand it yet, but the only thing that mattered was that she loved Emily for been her amazing daughter, and she knew Spencer was the best for her.

"Oh, mom…" Emily walked to hug her mom, tears filling her eyes, carefully leaving Spencer alone in her bed. "You know you shouldn't have done that, don't you?"

"I know, but I couldn't see you broken anymore." Pam sighed into her daughter's embrace, thanking God that she was always so sweet. With that last comment, and seeing that Spencer was opening her eyes, she left the room.

Turning around, Emily saw Spencer sweet features smiling shyly at her. "Good morning, gorgeous, you know how beautiful you are?" Emily tried to put away Spencer's shyness, because that would mean that she wasn't totally comfortable with her, and that was something she couldn't accept.

Spencer walked towards her girlfriend, putting her hands on her shoulders and whispering, "I love you, Em" right before barely touching their lips together, quickly pushing away and looking at her with still shy eyes. "Can I use your shower, please?"

"You know you don't have to ask that kind of stuff, we are like a married couple." Emily smiled at Spencer, seeing that she had a curious look, and quickly adding before she could say anything, "I mean, we share everything, we wake up next to each other, we practically live together… The only thing that's left is a diamond on my finger."

"I think I already gave you a ring…" Spencer winked at Emily before saying, "And there's nothing I could love more than waking up next to you." She left the room leaving Emily standing there with a huge smile on her face, and went to have her shower. She felt like she had shared too much with her girlfriend, but that's what girlfriends are supposed to be, to stay by your side, aren't they? She felt ashamed of her weakness, she was supposed to be a Hastings and she wasn't acting like one of them. What if A told her parents? What would happen then? She was sure they would send her to Radley without hesitation, thinking it would be the best for her and trying to hide her from people. Surely, they would tell everyone she was somewhere as far away as possible, maybe Europe.

Sighing, she took off her clothes and went into the shower, closing her eyes when she felt the hot water contacting with her wrist. It hurt. Slowly looking down, she started crying when she saw what she had done. It didn't seem as it seemed before talking to Emily. Now, it only seemed like the big prove of her stupidity and her weakness. She knew she couldn't do it anymore, but there was something inside of her screaming that she could do it just one last time, because, truth be told, it had really took away all the pain Toby had caused to her, and it was the very first moment since A appeared in their lives that she had felt like she truly was in control of her life.

Without even realizing it, Spencer started to talk to herself, her voice a mere whisper, "How can you be so lame, Spencer? You always walking around Rosewood like you are better than anyone, but at the end of the day you are the worst kind of person around here… Maybe you deserve everything that's happening to you." When she discovered she had been telling her thoughts to the walls of her girlfriend's bathroom, Spencer closed her eyes, wondering how she had gone this crazy almost without realizing it.

She stepped out of the shower, wrapping herself with one of Mrs. Fields soft, warm towels, and going to Emily's bedroom. As she had expected, her girlfriend wasn't there, so she allowed the towel to fall to the ground, searching for some clean clothes on Emily's closet. She had just decided what to wear, when she heard a gasp and turned around to discover Emily standing in the doorframe, looking at her with lustful eyes. "Good, at least she still finds me hot", Spencer thought, smiling at the swimmer. Trying to use her sexiest voice, she whispered, "I think you should close that door, if you don't want your momma to freak out."

Emily nodded and did as she was told, totally unable to mover her gaze away of Spencer's body. Last night she had been so broken, and now she was standing there, in front of her, naked… Quickly walking to her girlfriend, Emily crashed their lips together while pressing Spencer's body against hers by putting her hands on her lower back. Spencer moaned into the kiss, opening her mouth and allowing Emily's tongue to explore as much as it wanted to. Before things could get too heated, they heard a knock on the door, and they heard Pam asking if they were ready.

"Just a minute, mom", Emily shouted to the door, kissing Spencer and pushing her towards her clothes, not wanting her mother to open the door to see what was happening. Giggling, they both finished getting ready.

They went downstairs, where Spencer refused to have anything for breakfast, not even her usual black coffee. Emily looked at her worried, this was the first time she heard her say no to a coffee, and it really felt weird. "Are you feeling bad or something, dear?" Emily asked Spencer with her sweetest tone.

"I am feeling better than good, you don't have to worry." Spencer put a fake smile in her face, hoping it would fool Emily.

"How long have it been since you last ate?"

She failed. Spencer sighed, wondering what was that the swimmer had that always made her see through her walls and into her heart. "Not too much. Really, you don't have to worry."

Too late, Emily was already worried, and Spencer knew that it was all her fault. She had killed the happy mood between them, and they had gone back to be like last night, when Emily was just worried about her girlfriend and Spencer simply kept pushing her away.

Knowing that trying any further would put her outside Spencer's walls again, Emily sighed and took her girlfriend's hand, leading her towards her car. School was waiting for them, and so were their friends.


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N More drama... Thank you for reading, and special thank you to ****Craycrayforshay**** and ****xxx-Over-the-storm-xxx**** for your reviews :)**

**By the way, thank you ****xxx-Over-the-storm-xxx**** for offering to talk to me, I really appreciate it, and I think I'll send you a PM… Oh, and I try to update as much as I can, because when I'm writing I basically forget about everything and I love it :)**

**Chapter 25.**

The hardest day of Spencer's school life passed by without any relevant incidence, only the little, tiny fact that she had asked her girlfriend to lie to their best friends. She wasn't ready to see their faces when they knew the truth, so she just asked Emily for one more day. Of course, sweet Emily understood. Spencer knew this was such a big thing, and she hadn't really meant to get into it, but now she couldn't go back. To be honest, she didn't even regret it. It had really made her feel better, and even if everything came back later she had felt in control for a few minutes.

Emily had promised she wouldn't tell anything to Hanna or Aria yet, but seeing Spencer pretend she was okay was making her wonder how long this thing could have been going on without her noticing if she hadn't touched Spencer's wrist. The swimmer had been always the fragilest of them all, especially after Alison's death, but now she was being forced to be string both for her and her girlfriend, and she felt like she certaunly couldn't do it alone. It had only been less than a day since she discovered Spencer's way of cope with all the A stuff, and she knew she had told the truth when she said she had only done it once, but it was haunting her. Right at that moment, staring at her story teacher, Emily imagined herself as Marie Antoinette, the guillotine of A trembling above her head, with Spencer unknowingly being the one to cut the rope that was keeping it from fall onto her neck. Life'd never been easy on them, but everything was going out of their hands, and they needed to put all the A crap to an end before it was too late.

As soon as the bell rang, a hand grabbed Emily's shoulder, making her turn around. "I know you found about Toby..."

Jenna stood in the middle of the hallway, looking at the swimmer with true sorry on her eyes. "You knew, didn't you?"

"You were part of Alison DiLaurentis' clique, and you all always treated me worse than bad..." Excuses flashed on Jenna's mind, but she realized she didn't have to worry about hiding the truth anymore. "I know you weren't that bad, and maybe you didn't deserve all of that, but I was blind because of her, and then I could see again, and it was just like coming back to life, and I couldn't risk losing my life just after... I hope my mother had chosen another man to marry, but she chose Toby's father, and I just fell for him, and... I loved him, and when I saw what he was into I just couldn't stop him…" Jenna was silenced by a hug from Emily. Well, that was certainly unexpected. "I never meant to hurt you, at least not this bad, you have to believe me."

"I do believe you, Jenna." Emily whispered without letting go of her embrace. It felt awkward hugging someone they had done so much damage. She just hoped they could go back in time, and stop Ali before doing all the stupid things they had let her do.

Spencer walked out of the restroom to see how Emily was hugging Jenna Marshall, and a uneasy feeling made her run back inside, falling to her knees in front of one of the toilets. Thankfully, no one was there to see her becoming sick just because of that. Was she jealous? It certainly felt like jealously, but there was something more hiding inside of her. She couldn't avoid it, she was feeling insecure. She was Spencer Hastings, the eternal insecure girl, but only when it came to her family, now feeling insecure of herself. If she hadn't started hating on her a week ago, none of this would be happening, but she had done it and now she felt like she was dying. Taking her phone from her bag, she started writing on her blog, trying to put her feelings into words, so maybe someone would care about them. Right after she thought that, she started feeling worse. How could she have just thought that, if she knew Emily cared about her? Moments like this were the ones who made her realize how mentally sick she was. Quickly deleting what she had just written, she wrote something that seemed to her like the great, final solution she had been looking for.

Closing her eyes, Spencer didn't hear Aria walking inside the restroom, and when she noticed her phone had been taking off of her hands. Fear crossed her eyes, and she tried to stand and get it back, but the smaller girl was stronger than she seemed, which always surprised everyone.

"What are you hiding here, Spence?" Aria asked playfully.

"Nothing, just give it back." Spencer voice sounded way meaner than she had wanted it to sound, and Aria's huge hazel eyes became huger when she heard it. Walking away from her friend, Aria looked at the phone's screen, her face going pale while reading.

"Spencer…" Before Aria could make her feel worse, she just ran out of that place, leaving her phone. Aria stood there for a long while, her mouth open, her heart beating faster with fear. Spencer wasn't okay, everyone could see it, but it was worse than they had thought. Something really bad was going on, and she had to stop it before it could take Spencer away from them. She couldn't forget they were "Team Sparia", and they were supposed to take care of each other. Sending a simply "SOS" text to Hanna and Emily, Aria walked back to the hallway, looking around to see if they were somewhere near her.

A blonde head appeared at one end of the hallway, while a brunette one appeared on the other end. Worried, Aria waited for her friends to approach her, and taking their hands she forced them into an empty class. "I need you to look at this", she said, pushing Spencer's phone towards them. Hanna's mouth clench open, and Emily's eyes filled with tears. "We need to do something about her, she's obviously not okay."

"She's not okay, but she's not ready to talk about it, so…" Emily shrugged, trying to find something that would keep them not ask about Spencer's reasons to be how she was.

"So what, Emily? I thought we said no more lies between us long time ago, and I hoped you dating Spencer wouldn't change that, but I see I was wrong." Hanna slapped at the swimmer, making the tears her eyes were contending fall down her cheeks.

Touching Hanna's arm, Aria stepped between them, "She said Spencer's not ready to talk, but she'll open to us when she's ready. Now, we need to stay by her side, instead of fighting."

Hanna looked at Aria for a few seconds, then turned to face Emily. "I'm sorry, Em. I'm just worried about you, you are two of my best friends and I love you… I already lost Mona, I can't lose anyone more."

Emily hugged the blonde, making her smile on relieve. After a few seconds, Aria sighed and joined the hug, only moving away when the bell rang again. They were screwed, they had missed a full class because of this. When they stepped out of the class, Ella Montgomery was standing there, looking at them with an angry face. "I don't know what you were doing in there instead of being at class, but you'll have to stay after school."

"Mom!" Aria made her best puppy eyes, but it only made Ella look angrier. The girls went to their next class, sighing, not wanting Mrs. Montgomery to make them stay too longer after school.

While her friends were worried about her, Spencer spent the rest of her school hours without even paying attention, thinking about much more important things. The bell rang, and she went to her car without waiting for Emily, who had come with her to school that morning. She knew it would look mean to leave without saying something to her girlfriend, but she felt like she couldn't wait anymore. Her foot hit the gas, and her car flied to her house, where she stopped and ran to her bedroom without even see Melissa was in the kitchen waiting for her as she had been the previous day. Leaving the door opened, she quickly went to her computer and opened her blog, hoping to see some comments on her last post. Sadly, there was no relevant stuff, only an advert about making money without moving from her sit. Angry, she threw a book that was resting on her desk to the wall, making an awfully loud noise.

Melissa ran to see if her sister was okay, and when she saw her crying on her chair with lost eyes her heart sank to her feet. "Spencer!" She threw her arms around her little sister, but she pushed her away.

"Go away, Melissa." Spencer's voice had never sounded that rude, not even when they used to fight all day, and Melissa felt like she needed some urgent help.

"I'll be downstairs, just in case you need me, but eventually you'll have to talk and I'll be there for you, no matter what you do to push me away." Melissa turned on her heels, leaving a speechless Spencer staring at the spot where she had just been standing.

Spencer's hands moved along her desk, searching for what she was desperately needing, and when she found it she gasped. Opening her scissors, she pressed the blade against the bare skin of her wrist, right above the scar she had. She closed her eyes, and before pressing any harder or slicing it across her skin, she slammed them to the wall as she had done with the book. What was wrong with her?

Since she needed something to think about, she started blasting some music and went into the shower. "Oh Gaga, so nice of you singing about being yourself while being flawless… It's so easy to sing about it when you already overcame everything." She looked at her reflection in the mirror when she realized she was taking to herself again, secretly hoping to see something that would make her understand why she was going so crazy. She couldn't see anything. At least, she could go into the shower and try to forget about everything while the hot water burnt her skin.

Melissa tiptoed back Spencer's bedroom, seeing her computer was still showing what Spencer had been looking at. Taking a look at it, she saw it was a blog. Since when had Spencer a blog? She didn't really know anything about her own sister, and that made her feel like there was no family connection between them. Before reading the post it was showing, she sent the url to her email, knowing that she would read it. She heard the shower stop sounding, and she quickly went back downstairs, making sure to leave everything was how she had found it.

Spencer's bedroom was now empty, her computer lightening it. On its screen, a short post glowed, saying something that only a few people on the Earth would understand. "_Dear A, the game's on. I've been once asked if I wanted to join your team. Then here got your answer: yes._"

**A/N You can officially hate me, but I've always loved the antagonists.**


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N Okay, I wrote this while "watching" my sister playing in a Christmas concert, so sorry if this is not what you expected or something... I just felt like writing it, since that cliffhanger on the last chapter was a little too cliffhanger, you know ;)**

**Anyway, here it is! Read, enjoy, review and get ready for some future (not in this chapter) Christmas fluff and smut!**

**Chapter 26.**

Emily wanted, needed, to talk to Spencer. Was this all just a prank? Maybe she was trying to fool A, but they'd tried once and it didn't end well. Pacing in her bedroom, too worried to sleep, she took her phone and dialed her girlfriend's number. Before starting the call, she sat on her bed, focusing on relax herself. She called, and called again, but she got no answer. Of course, she had been so innocent to believe Spencer would pick uo the phone. Sighing, she decided to sent her a text. "We need to talk, are you awake?"

"I'll tell you everything, but tomorrow. Just wait, I promise. Xoxo." Emily felt a wave of guilt take her body. She didn't believe Spencer. She didn't believe her girlfriend, one of her best friends. She had a few reasons to believe she could be lying, but every single fibre of her body was telling her that she should believe in the girl she loved the most. Maybe she just needed to

talk to her. Her fingers flied over the keyboard of her phone, quickly composing an answer.

"Hope to see you before school starts, this is important. Don't forget I love you, and you should wear that beautiful dress that shows her wonderful legs if you want me to forget you even after your not enough excuses." She had to joke about this, because if she hadn't she would have cried the rest of her life.

Still not able to sleep, she tried to do some of her homework. Right after opening the book, she threw it away. She didn't understand anything about anything, and she couldn't do her homework without Spencer's help. How did her life become such a mess? She remembered when she first met Maya, how her world turned up down. Then, a little of Paige, hot Samara and back to Paige. She had thought she was in love with Alison, Maya and Paige. After all of that, when she had her first kiss with Spencer, she realized she didn't have any idea about love.

The only girl she loved in this world was struggling with a huge problem that could take her away, and she was thinking about homework and her exs. Emily could imagine Ali smirking at her with that look in her face that was telling that she knew all of her secrets. Well, she had only knew one of her secrets, and she had turtured her even in her last day of living.

Emily could feel everything going out of her hands, and she started crying. She went to her desk, taking a cutter in one of her hands and looking at it. How did it feel? How did it feel taking control over somethig as important as your own life? Slowly, she moved her hand until the instrument was resting on her wrist, without pressing it against her skin. Could she do it? Could she just let go? No, of course she couldn't. She couldn't do it, because Spencer had been dragged into it and now she had to be strong for her. She couldn't do it, because she had to keep fighting, for her girlfriend, the girl she loved.

Throwing the cutter away, thinking about how sick she was becoming, she went to her closet and took a pair of sweat pants. She needed to run or something, just to forget ajout what had just happened. Quietly tiptoeing to the front door, she started running when she made sure her mom was asleep and the door was closed. She ran for over an hour, but she knew there was only one way she could get ride of all the adrenaline running through her body. She turned right, then left and left again, abruptly stoping when she reached her goal. She put her hand against the house's door, seeing it was open. What kind of person didn't lock the door at night? Her head apeared in the darkness, and when she saw there was no one that could see her, she ran upstairs. She knew that house as if it were her own house, mostly because of all the sleepovers and time she had spent there.

She opened the door to the room she was dying to get in, and she found the only person she needed peacefully sleeping on her bed. Closing the door, she walked until her knees touched the bed, and she bent down to look at the girl's face.

Spencer felt someone's breath on her face. Was A there to answer her? She'd never been that scared in all her life. What was she thinking when she wrote that? Now that she was feeling a hot breath on her face, closer and closer, she felt paralized with fear. Before she could open her eyes, she felt something pressing against her lips. Was that a kiss? Surprised, she opened her eyes. First fear, then realization and finally happiness traveled through them. Emily. How could she be that crazy? She wanted to punch her face for scaring her like that, but her lips felt so good that she couldn't push her away.

Emily moaned into the kiss, moving without breaking it until she was on top of her girlfriend, her legs resting on each of Spencer's sides. Her hands quickly moved under the brunette t-shirt, seeing that she wouldn't stop her, while deepening the kiss. Their tongues started batling, making both of them moan.

Spencer used all of her strength to make them roll without stopping neither the kiss nor Emily's hands. She moved away, her hands forcing the swimmer to stay with her back pressed against the bed. That was the moment when she realized something vital: she was on control now. Being there, on top of Emily, knowing that she could start or stop whatever she wanted, she was on control. She was on control, and being on control of this was truly better of what she thought was the only thing she could be on control of. She smiled at the thought, which made Emily look at her with a cute pout.

"You shouldn't tease me like this, Spence." Emily's pout wouldn't go away, and Spencer felt her heart warm with love.

"You shouldn't scare me like this." Spencer answered with a funny smile. Emily smiled too, feeling like it had been years since she last saw her smile like that. "I thought you were going to kill me."

"I can kill you if you want." Emily's right hand moved upwards under Spencer's t-shirt, her fingers playing with her bare breasts and her hardened niples. Spencer threw her head back, moaning her girlfriend's name.

"Emily... Stop, you are killing me." Emily looked at her, slowly taking her hand away. She understood. She understood Spencer wasn't ready for that kind of stuff yet, and even if she was dying for it she smiled sweetly and moved away.

"Spence, can I sleep with you? I just wanna hug you all night..."

"Sure you can", Spencer's voice never sounded that sweetly, and it made Emily realized how much she loved her. They fell back on the bed, looking at each other's face, hugging under the sheets.

Something like three hours passed, when Specer opened her eyes. Seeing that Emily was asleep, she slowly moved her hand until she found her phone. She quickly went to her blog, to see she had an answer to her lastest post. "_Game on, then. You better know what you're getting into. Xo -A._"

Spencer closed her eyes, knowing that she hand't any real idea about what she was getting herself into. The only thing she knew for sure was that she loved Emily. Turning to face the window, she opened her eyes again, and what she saw made her shake Emily's shoulders.

"What's wrong? Are you okay, Spence?" Emily asked both worried and sleeply, her eyes still closed.

"Open your eyes, Emily!" Spencer forced her girlfriend to sit and look through the window. "It's snowing!"

"You just woke me up because it's snowing? Sre you five or what, Spencer?" Emily moaned while letting herself fall back down again. She reached for Spencer's hand and pulled until she was resting with her. "You don't know how lucky you are I love you..."

"I love you too, even when you act like a rude sleepy bitch." Spencer sweetly kissed Emily's lips and closed her eyes again. Tomorrow would be a long day, and she only had a few hours left to sleep.


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N Okay, it took me a while to write this, mostly because I wasn't in the mood, so I just hope you like it.**

**xxx-Over-the-storm-xxx****: I'm glad you liked the chapter, and I just hope this one doesn't disappoints you.**

**Craycrayforshay****: I'm sorry, happy Spencer is not coming back at least for one more chapter. But don't worry, she'll come back :)**

**Jrzygurl89****: Glad you loved the chapter, and don't worry because every story has a happy ending, so they'll do ok :)**

**Since this is the 27****th**** chapter of this story and 27 is my favorite number, I just hope you to like it at least as much as I enjoyed writing it.**

**Chapter 27.**

Emily opened her eyes when the alarm started sounding, looking around her confuses until she remembered where she was and why she was there. She turned, hoping to face her girlfriend, but she frowned when she saw Spencer was nowhere to be seen. Could she be on the shower? No, there was no noise. Maybe she was just having breakfast, even if lately she was in a really annoying non-eating mood. She tiptoed until she reached the stairs, but she realized Spencer wouldn't have gone having breakfast without telling her. She went back to her girlfriend's bedroom, finding a note standing in the desk. Thinking it wouldn't be anything important, she looked at it, her mouth felling open while reading. Quickly, she sent a SOS text to Hanna and Aria, asking them to meet her at the park in fifteen minutes, while throwing on her clothes.

Emily started running towards the front door so fast that she didn't see Veronica Hastings opening it from the outside, causing them to stop facing each other. "Have you slept here, Emily?"

"I swear we didn't do anything, Mrs. Hastings." Emily answered, maybe too fast, her face blushing lightly even if she was telling the truth.

"Don't worry, I won't yell at you or anything, but you should tell us if you are staying here, because it something happened then we would be the ones in charge of you." Mrs. Hastings was acting as open-mindedly about this as Emily wanted her own mother to act. "Oh, and call me Veronica, please, you are part of the family now and I've known you for years."

"Thank you, Mrs… Veronica. I have to go find Spencer, she's a little upset." Emily put all her heart when she thanked the woman who she hoped one day would be her mother-in-law.

"Okay, but please take care of her, she's been a little weirder than usual and I'm worried something's wrong with her."

"Don't worry, I'll take care of her." The look on Veronica Hastings' eyes broke Emily's heart. She was really concerned about her daughter, but Emily knew she couldn't tell her anything, at least not now that she finally got Spencer to open to her.

After a quick and emotional hug, Emily ran to the park, hoping her friends would be already there. Sadly, there was no one waiting for her. She started pacing, getting impatient, and suddenly she felt a hand over her eyes and something pressing against her back. She went pale when she thought it could be a gun. It certainly seemed a gun, it was cold and it was pressed really hard. What if it was A, and they decided to kill her? She hoped they wouldn't kill in the middle of the park. She heard whispers, and it only took her a few minutes to realize Hanna and Aria were near her. She heard someone footsteps, someone running, a scream, and there was no more hand covering her eyes. Slowly, she opened them, afraid of what she could see. There, lying in the floor, was Paige.

"What the hell do you think you are doing Paige?" Hanna was beyond angry, her eyes full of hate.

"I was just trying to take her to somewhere where she would be alone, because there's something I need to tell her and I knew she wouldn't listen to me after everything." Paige seemed to be telling the truth, but Emily felt surprised when she found that she couldn't trust her anymore even if she knew she was probably telling the truth.

"And you couldn't come with something better than kidnapping her?" Little Aria was angry too, and it was really scary to see someone so small getting so angry.

"I just wanted to tell her something about Spencer, okay?" Paige cried, curling up in the floor.

"Don't you dare to say anything about Spencer, or I'll punch you again, and this time it will really hurt." Hanna's words made Emily look at her with her mouth full open. Had she just said that she punched Paige? However, she knew that she needed to listen to Paige, because she had no idea where she could be at the moment.

"Let her talk, Hanna." Hanna looked at Emily, but didn't say anything. Aria nodded, and Emily proceeded to ask her ex-girlfriend. "Tell me what you need to tell me, and then leave."

"I saw Spencer. She looked awful and she was getting into a black car. Then, the driver started driving away like crazy, but I couldn't see who it was because it was still dark. I walked to where the car had been, and I found this. That's all, and I'm leaving now." Paige handed an object to Emily and left running, not wanting to talk anymore.

Emily looked at the object she had now in her hands. It was Spencer's necklace, one she would never ever get off her neck. Both Hanna and Aria looked at her with horror in their faces. Emily decided it was time to show them the letter, and then they could decide what to do next. Taking the paper from her jean's pocket, she put it on Hanna's hands, who started reading out loud. "Dear Emily, you know I love you, don't you? Don't forget it, whatever happens to us. I'm just going to end this, and I'll do whatever I need to do to achieve it. If I come back, I just want you to know that I've thought about the perfect way to make you forgive me for this, so you don't have to worry about ending out relationship. Everything will be okay, just tell the girls they'll be free soon. Again, I love you, and I always will."

Hanna stopped talking and started sitting on the floor, speechless. If the circumstances had been different, they'd probably laugh at the fact that Spencer left her without words, but the only thing they could think about was how they could stop the brunette. It was probably too late, and Aria started crying when she realized it. What if she lost Spencer and the last time she had seen her was at a restroom? She looked at Emily, just to see silent tears streaming down her cheeks. Hanna let her body fall down on the grass, not worrying about her outfit. They looked at each other for what seemed like hours, and then they shared a hug that was supposed to comfort them.

"I don't know what to do." Emily tried to talk between her tears. "We just talked a few hours ago, and she didn't mention this to me."

"I knew it." Instead of comforting Emily, Aria decided to blame herself. "I just knew it when I read that stupid thing she had written, and I decided not to do something."

Hanna's gaze darted from Emily to Aria, and sighing she said, "There was no way we could have known it, we all know Spencer's brain is too much for us, even if we hate saying it out loud. She's just doing what she thinks is the right thing, and we should support her."

"How do you think I can support my suicidal girlfriend, Hanna?" Both Aria and Hanna turned their faces to Emily so fast that their heads were about to fall from their bodies. Had she just said the word "suicidal"? Realizing what she had just said, Emily added, "I mean, she just embarked herself in a suicidal mission without any help, and we all know how this could end."

Aria sighed, not believing Emily. She had known something was wrong with Spencer since she found about Toby being A, and she had been sure it was something big, only that she never thought Spencer could try to kill herself or something like that. She had thought it was something more like forget about her problems with alcohol, but not committing suicide.

Hanna's mind went far away from Emily's words, thinking about how Spencer had been acting weird those days. She had never seen her like that, not even when Ali went missing. What if Spencer died? She had to say something to Emily, but she couldn't find anything that would comfort her in that situation. Remembering Alison, she decided that she had to lie. "We all know Spencer is strong, and nothing bad will happen to her. I'm sure there's some kind of love power around her, and nothing wrong can happen to her as long as you still love each other."

Emily smiled slightly, feeling a warm wave of love for Hanna. She always knew what kind of lie she had to tell to comfort people. Well, the part of Spencer being strong wasn't exactly a lie, but the part of the love power was something so Disney that it didn't surprise Emily hearing it coming out of Hanna's mouth. Aria smiled too, amused by Hanna's way of comforting her friend, and hug both of them, whispering, "Nothing wrong will happen to any of us as long as we still love each other, and it doesn't matter if we are friends or girlfriends."

Moving away from Aria's embrace, Emily remembered they were on a school day, and she told her friends. Hanna started pouting, and her words didn't surprise any of her friends, "Can't we just change school for shopping, just to forget about sad things?"

Emily and Aria looked at each other sighing. Aria slightly nodded, making Emily know that she agreed with Hanna about the need of forget, even if she probably was thinking about something more cultural than shopping. "Okay, just let me call my mom to tell her that I'm not feeling good and I won't go school."

With another friends' huge hug, they started walking to Hanna's car, since she was the only one of them lazy enough to drive to the park even if she was the one living nearer it. A long day of worrying about Spencer was ahead of them, and they couldn't wait to start it. The fastest it comes, the fastest it's supposed to end.


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N Here goes more drama.**

**Craycrayforshay****: I totally love that you are always telling me how much you like each chapter :)**

**Kamikazej****: I'm slightly offended you think I could make wonderful Spencer die :(**

**xxx-Over-the-storm-xxx****: Okay, I hope this chapter makes up for the last chapter, at least it has a happy ending. Glad to know you loved the "love power" thing :)**

**Chapter 28**.

Hanna was busy trying dress after dress while Aria and Emily were sitting on the floor, waiting for her to finally step out of the changing room. It had been almost three hours since they had last known about Spencer, and it had been from Paige, who probably had waited some time to go and tell Emily. Emily's eyes were red and puffy, even if not even a single tear fell from them in all the time they had spent at the mall. Hanna opened the curtain to show her friends a dress that looked exactly the same as the previous one. "Hey, what are you doing sitting on the floor? Don't you know it's not glamorous?"

Aria rolled her eyes snapping at Hanna, "Can you just change to your clothes and shut up, Hanna?" She didn't want to be angry with the blonde, but God knows she could be tiring. Emily squeezed her hand, making her relax. "I'm sorry, Han, but can we go now?"

Hanna slammed the curtain shut again, murmuring something about ungrateful friends. Emily looked at Aria, trying to make sure she was okay. She seemed everything but okay, but there was some kind of wall around her that the swimmer couldn't remember being there before. "Aria, you know you can talk to me, don't you?"

"I don't wanna talk to you about Spencer being so irresponsible, because I know I'll say she's a bad girlfriend and I don't want to fight with you."

The desperation in Aria's eyes made Emily hug her. Breaking the hug and resting a hand on her friend's knee, Emily didn't hesitate to answer. "You can talk to me about your best friend being irresponsible and making you feel bad, it doesn't matter who she's dating."

Hanna chose the precise moment when Aria was about to open up to go back to them, making them stop talking. "What do you want to do next, girls?"

"Can we watch a movie?" Aria and Hanna turned around at Emily's suggestion, making her blush. "I mean, there's this movie that Spencer wanted to watch, and since she's who-knows-where… I just wanted to watch it without her."

Hanna looked at her friend in disbelief. "Sorry, let's make things clear. Are you, sweet Emily, saying that you wanna go watch a movie Spencer's dying to watch, probably with you, so you then can rub it in her face?"

"I think that's what she said, Hanna." Aria showed a slight smile at the thought. "I think our little Emily is becoming a revengeful adult."

"It's okay if you don't want to…" Emily shrugged, blushing until her face was in a dark shade of red, making both Hanna and Aria laugh, forgetting about Spencer for a moment.

"Of course we want to, Em!" Aria exclaimed, making a nosy old woman look at them. "I think it's time we make your girlfriend understand she can't take us for granted, whatever the matter is."

"Aria, I think that friends are supposed to be taken for granted…" Hanna started arguing, but Aria elbowed her in the stomach, making her stop. "The movie it is, then." Hanna forced a smile on her face, even if Aria had really hurt her. How could something so tinny be that strong?

"Oh, just before we go", Aria stopped right when they had started walking again, "What movie are we going to see?"

"The Hobbit." Emily's answer was just a mere murmur, but it made Hanna sigh loudly.

"Of course it would be boring." Aria elbowed Hanna again, but not before the words had escaped her mouth. Inserting herself between her friends, Emily took her friends' hands and forced them to start walking.

They sat at the back of the theater, even if it was a school day and no one was there. For Emily, the film was just a man with huge feet, some dwarfs and a wizard running from fight to fight, and she truly regretted having suggested watching it. It was just gross, and she couldn't stop thinking about how much she would give to have Spencer sitting by her side.

Hanna spent the almost-three-hours movie looking at the time on her phone, finding it impossible for her to follow the argument. There was just so many disgusting things and some kind of monsters with faces that could have made her puke if she had eaten something for breakfast. On the other side, Aria was looking at the screen with her mouth full open. Maybe it was just because she had read the book, but she was fascinated by the film. However, she couldn't stop thinking about the day when she had found Spencer reading the book, and she had started talking about how there was a huge meaning hidden behind all those fights. Now that she was sitting there, she only had two wishes: that Spencer was okay and that Hanna stopped lighting her phone's screen.

When the movie finally reached an end, they walked hand by hand towards the parking lot, neither Emily nor Aria paying attention to Hanna's constant talking about how gross the film had been. Even if Emily secretly agreed with her, she didn't say anything, thinking that this wasn't enough to punish Spencer. Taking Hanna's keys from her hands, she ran towards her car.

"What are you doing?" Hanna looked astonished, stopping her complaining about the movie.

"I'll take you to some special place." Considering that enough, Emily sat at the driver's seat and waited impatiently for her friends to enter the car. Faster than it was allowed by the law, Emily drove to Spencer's house. Running out of the car, she quickly entered the house by the always-open back door, ran upstairs and came down in a few seconds, shaking something in her hands and smiling brightly. Aria and Hanna were still stepping out Hanna's car, when they realized what Emily was planning. Spencer's car was parked there, and Emily was happily shaking its keys.

"Emily, you realize that I already did this to Sean and that it didn't end well, don't you?" Hanna took Aria's hand, asking for support, but she got only a light squeeze back.

"That's not what I'm thinking, I just want to drive it somewhere and left her beloved car there, just to scare her." That couldn't be the Emily they knew. When had she become that? Both Hanna and Aria hated the idea, but they couldn't stop thinking that this was something Alison would have suggested.

Walking slowly towards the swimmer, Aria started talking to her. "Emily, we know you are upset and angry about what Spencer is doing right now, but you can't do this. You are not like this, remember? You are sweet, and caring, and you would never ever do something like this stupid prank you are planning to someone you love as much as you love Spencer, especially knowing how she loves her car. Are you sure you want to do something you'll probably regret? Because we both know you will forget her as soon as her lips crash into yours, and we don't want you to regret anything you've done while she wasn't here."

Emily started crying, all her ideas of ways to hurt Spencer flying away. Aria was right, she wasn't like that. Before she could notice, both of her friends were tightly hugging her, making her feel more loved than she had felt since she had awaken in Spencer's bed that morning. That was the only thing she needed, her friends, and they were with her.

Suddenly, a cough made them break the embrace. Looking up, Emily started crying when she saw a pale Spencer looking at her. She looked devastated, and her eyes had totally lost the bright that she had conserved even after all her struggling. Emily started walking towards her girlfriend, making Spencer walk to her too. Before they could realize it, they were running to each other, until they crashed in a tight hug that almost made them fall to the floor.

"I'm sorry, Emily", was the only thing Spencer whispered. After that, Emily pushed her away, remembering what had happened.

"Where have you been?" There was no more tears streaming down her face, and her voice sounded angry.

"I promise I'll tell you, but for now I can say that everything is solved." Aria and Hanna gasped. What had Spencer given A to set them free? Before they could say anything, Emily threw her arms around her girlfriend's shoulders and kissed her passionately, making both of them forget about everything around them. Aria and Hanna hugged each other, hoping this meant that there was no more drama in their lives.

**A/N Next chapter will be just fluff and Christmas, so get ready for it :)**


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N Okay, I know it's a little bit late for this Christmas stuff you'll read, but I couldn't make it sooner. Hope you like it, I'll try to upload ASAP :)**

**Thanks for reading, and thank you ****Craycrayforshay**** and ****xxx-Over-the-storm-xxx**** for your reviews. Hope you all enjoy this new chapter!**

**Chapter 29.**

Spencer took Emily's hand and leaned her into her house. She pushed her upstairs and into her room, leaving Aria and Hanna startled in the kitchen, deciding they should wait downstairs for them to talk.

Right before closing her door, Spencer pushed Emily against her bed, kissing her passionately. They would have time to talk, but first they needed to make up for all the time they had spent apart. Emily opened her eyes, letting her girlfriend do. Slowly, Spencer traced Emily's neck with her lips, exploring all of her skin with soft kisses, making her moan and throw her head back. She hadn't realized how much she had really missed Spencer in a sexual way, but being there in her bed she felt like she could forget about anything that had happened the past days. A loud moan escaped her lips when she felt Spencer's cold hands tracing her stomach, and she totally forgot about their best friends being downstairs.

Spencer put herself on top of Emily, taking her shirt off and pressing her body against her girlfriend's. They locked lips in a heated kiss, rolling on the bed, while taking off each other clothes. Spencer forced the swimmer to her initial position, and moved until her head was resting between Emily's legs. She started kissing her right knee, slowly going upward, biting her thighs. When she reached the center, she let out her warm breath, reminding Emily how near her girlfriend's mouth was from her core, making her shiver, before repiting the operation with Emily's left leg. After a few more teasing, Spencer pushed her tonge inside Emily's centre, making her back arch in pleasure. Spencer thrusted two of her fingers inside the swimmer, provoking her to scream her name while finally abandoning herself to the pleasure.

They stood in the same position for a few seconds, trying to calm their breathing. When she had her force back, Emily put herself on top of Spencer's body, sweetly kissing her neck. She found her pulse point and started sucking, making sure to leave a big mark. After that, she continued kissing down the brunette's body, stoping to play with her niples. Before Spencer could realize what was going on, she let out a squeal at the feeling of Emily's teeth on her bare breast, leaving a wound that quickly started bleeding.

"What the hell was that?" Spencer couldn't believe what had just happened.

"That was just part of your punishment." Emily traced the bound with her tongue, making Spencer moan, unable to talk anymore. With the coversation finished, Emily continued exploring her girlfriend's body, sucking and biting at almost every spot of her naked skin. Without hesitation, she forced a finger inside Spencer, moving herself to kiss her neck again. After a few thrusts, she added first one and then two more fingers, causing Spencer to scream the swimmer's name while reaching the mountain peak of her pleasure. She had missed that, damn God.

"I love you, Emily." Spencer's voice sounded weak, still filled with lust, but she managed herself to imprime all her love in that four words.

"I love you too, but Hanna and Aria are waiting for us."

Spencer closed her ees at Emily's cold tone, knowing that she deserved it. "Can we just wait until tomorrow to talk?"

Emily turned around, looking at Spencer's eyes. She was dying to know what her girlfriend had been doing, but she couldn't say no to those beautiful eyes. Sighing, she hugged Spencer, whispering, "You better explain everything tomorrow, or I'm afraid I'll have enough."

Spencer swallowed hard, openig her eyes at the meaning of Emily's words. Was she really implying that if she didn't explain herself properly everything would be over between them? There wasn't a person she could love more than Emily, and she knew she had to explain herself, but she couldn't forget that she had done something they should have done long time ago.

Taking Spencer's hand, Emily walked to the kitchen, where Aria was blushing and Hanna had a knowing smirk on her face. "I never thought you were the screaming type, Emily." Then, turning to face Spencer, she added, "But you are not quiet yourself, Spence. I hope you are not having sex while your parents are home, or they'll know every single dettail."

"Shut up, Hanna!" Spencer punched Hanna's arm playfully, making her stop embarrassing Emily and Aria. "Anyway, I'll explain everythig tomorrow, but can you just help me with something?"

Both Hanna and Aria looked at Emily, hoping to find an answer in her honest eyes, but the only thing they found was surprise. Taking their silence as a yes, Spencer clapped her hands and ran upstairs, coming back later with a huge box in her hands.

"What's that?" Hanna was the one to put voice to her friends' thoughts.

"That is my Christmas tree." Spencer couldn't hide a huge grin. When she was little, her parents wouldn't allow her to have a Christmas tree and she would always go to her friends' houses and imagine she could have her father to help her put the star on the top of the tree. Eventually, when she started saving money, she bought a tree, a fake one, and she started dreaming about decorating it with her future children. Now, her parents were nowhere to be seen, and she needed some happiness around her.

"I never thought you would be the Christmas tree type." Aria looked at her amused, wondering where that side of her friend's had been hidden.

"You were wrong." Spencer stock her tongue at her, making her friends laugh. Emily wrapped her arms around her, kissing her forehead, and walked away from her, going towards the tree. In less than five minutes, they had the tree totally decorated, and they were sitting on the couch, proud of their work. Suddenly, Spencer remembered she had one more thing to do, and she ran again upstairs.

"What the hell is she doing?" Hanna threw her head back on the couch and closed her eyes, getting tired only by seeing all of her friend activity.

"I went to catch the last thing for my tree, but if you'd rather sleep than stay here you can go to my bedroom." Spencer appeared again, making Hanna jump in surprise. She was fast, probably due to all her field hockey practice.

Emily looked at her girlfriend raising an eyebrow, looking sexier than she would ever know. She saw Spencer was holding a star, and before she could manage any question out of her mouth, she had it in her hands. She stared at the star, not seeing anything special, and looked back at Spencer. Sighing, Spencer took again the star in her hands and held it in front of the window, the afternoon sun shining against the metal. Aria and Hanna exclaimed when they saw the star's message. Inside it, almost invisible, were two tinny letters. S and E. They were floating in something that looked like water, but none of them could be sure of that. Knowing Spencer, it could be liquid gold or something like that.

"Oh, Spence…" Emily had to close her eyes to keep tear from falling down her cheeks. She could be stubborn, and she could hurt her lots and lots of times by doing extreme things without telling her, but there was no doubt she was the best girlfriend she could had ever dreamt about. She had her heart, and there was nothing she could do about it.

"If you don't kiss her now, I'm afraid I'll do it for you." Hanna slapped Emily out of her thoughts, giggling with Aria at Spencer's cuteness. They were still angry, but seeing how much she loved Emily made her forget the reason of her anger for a few minutes. Smiling, Emily leaned forward and pressed her lips against Spencer's. It was the sweetest kiss they had shared in a too long time.

"I love you, Em."

"I love you too, Spencie." Emily's words caused Hanna and Aria to change their giggles for loud laughs, but she didn't care. As long as she was with her Spencer, she didn't care about any other thing. They were the only two people in her world.

It was time for the girls to go back home, and Spencer sadly walked them to the door. When Hanna and Emily were far enough for them, Aria looked at Spencer's eyes, quickly whispering, "Remember that you owe us an explanation, and you better have a good one. I won't stand any more lies between us." Spencer wanted to answer, but the anger in Aria's eyes closed her mouth. She had every right to be angry with her, even if she didn't know the full story. She nodded, and her friend leaved without looking back. Sighing, Spencer closed the door and ran again to her bedroom. She didn't know why, but she was feeling full of energy.

Leaving the door of her room full open, she started her computer. Right when she was about to start doing some homework, a chat window popped on one corner of the screen.

_You better be careful with this, we don't want you to screw things up._

Before answering, Spencer closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Then, she quickly wrote an answer, "You know I'll be careful."

_We hope so. You'll know more about us in a few days._

"Wait! They wanna know, what do I tell them?"

_You were the one to start this, you are the one to find an excuse. Don't worry, we know you're a good liar._

Spencer wanted to add something more, but the chat window disappeared as fast as it had appeared. She had made a big resolution, and she wasn't thinking about forgetting about it. This was what she had been wanting for a long time. Looking at her bag, she saw it was buzzing. She had a new text, again. "We forgot to tell you that there's something for you in your front door." Running downstairs, Spencer took a little box from the floor. Anyone could have seen it, how could they leave it there? She opened it, to found that there was a phone and a note inside. Taking the note first, she carefully read it, trying to guess who had written it. "We thought you'll need this, and remember to sign with an A."

Angry, she looked for a lighter and burnt the note. When the smoke formed a cloud around her, she heard someone coughing behind her. "What the hell are you doing? Burning the house?" Melissa was looking at her worried. What was going on with her sister?

"It was just a note, I didn't think it would make so much smoke." Of course, it wasn't just a note. It was a note from A, and it probably had some kind of inflammable thing to remind her that they weren't going anywhere.

"Did you make things up with Emily?" Melissa quickly changed the subject, seeing that she would never know anything more about the note her sister was burning.

"More or less."

"More or less? Is that why she was screaming your name a few minutes later you were screaming hers?" Melissa's words made Spencer's mouth hang open.

"Were you here all the time?"

"I thought about coming to say hello, but you were obviously busy, and then I heard you with Hanna and Aria, so…" Melissa looked at the floor, not wanting her sister to know that she didn't want to see her friends because she felt uncomfortable with them. She had never been a good sister, and she was sure they had a pretty bad opinion about her. There was nothing she could do about her past, and she wasn't ready to face Spencer's friends yet. However, it was different with Emily, because she was always so sweet that she could make her forget about all of her bitchy past. Spencer turned, giving her back to her sister, feeling uncomfortable knowing why her sister couldn't look at her, but not knowing what to say. Before she could say anything, Melissa spoke again. "Who is A, Spencer?"

"The only thing I can tell you is that I am A now, but you can't tell anyone."

"Why?" Melissa was more worried now. Wasn't Mona Vanderwaal in Ridley because she had stalked them under the name of A?

"I can't tell you. You have to swear you'll never tell anyone I'm A." Spencer's eyes were different now, something had changed inside of her. They were darker than usual, and the sweet spark that used to be inside them was now almost invisible.

"I swear… I swear on my life." Melissa swallowed at her sister's eyes. She knew she wouldn't let her go without swearing, but she was afraid she would break her words if she feared Spencer was in danger.

"Thank you, I promise you'll know soon." Spencer smiled shyly. She was behaving oddly, but there was no doubt she was still Spencer Hastings, the girl who always gets what she wants. There was no trace of the girl who had cut herself when she felt unable to cope, she was feeling stronger than ever.


	30. Chapter 30

**A/N Here it goes, chapter 30.**

**Craycrayforshay****: Glad to know you liked their kiss. Don't get angry with Spencer, why don't you wait to know the full story? :)**

**xxx-Over-the-storm-xxx****: I don't wanna say anything to spoil this chapter, so about Spencer being on the A team… Just let me know what you think after reading this chapter :) Oh, and I'm glad you liked last chapter :D**

**Chapter 30.**

The sun came into Spencer's room, making her groan opening her eyes. It had been months since she had last slept that well, and she couldn't but smile at the thought of how much she had needed it. For the first time in more than a year, she didn't really need coffee to wake up. However, she would drink more than a cup that day, because now that she had slept she had many things to do. First of all, she had to explain what she had been doing to her friends and, most important, to her girlfriend. If she didn't find a good explanation, it could mean the end of everything they had. Then, she had to talk to Melissa. Sighing, she rolled out of bed and took a shower. Before getting dressed, the feeling of loneliness came back to her stronger than ever, making her forget about how good she had felt the previous day when she was with Emily, and without even knowing what she was doing she suddenly felt the blood running down her wrist. Seeing what she was doing, she quickly cured the cut, getting dressed with a shirt that would cover it. In only twenty minutes, she was in her car, riding towards her school. It was soon, but she knew they would be waiting for her there.

When she arrived, she left her car at the parking lot and walked to a table where she could see Hanna, Aria and Emily waiting for her. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, making sure that she hadn't forget the speech she had made while she was in the shower.

"You can start talking." Aria didn't even greet her. Spencer was shocked at how Aria had changed in only one day, but maybe it was because she was hurt. She understood that the shorter girl thought she had betrayed them, and that was something she couldn't forget, as she had showed when Mona was discovered. Maybe the only one of the four who would forget a betrayal would be Hanna, since deep down she was even sweeter than Emily, and she had stayed by Mona's side even after knowing everything she had done. Maybe, if this thing went wrong, Spencer could still have Hanna.

"Good morning to you too." Spencer tried to joke, but she was more nervous than she had been in all her life. Seeing the look in Emily's face, she sat next to Hanna and inhaled before start talking. "You wanna know what I did. Okay, here it goes. I contacted with A and told them I wanted to talk, but they wouldn't want me to see them, so someone drove me to a motel in the middle of nowhere, and they covered my eyes so I wouldn't see anything. They made me sat in a chair, I think it was Toby who helped me to sit, but I can't be sure. They wanted to hear what I had to say, so I just talked and they didn't say anything. I told them that I understood why they hated Alison, and that I wouldn't reproach them if they had been her killers, because, truth be told, deep down we all hated her. I also told them that even if I understand that I don't understand why they are paying it with us. Well, I get why they could hate us, but we are not Ali, and our only sin was that we couldn't stop her. Apparently, that wasn't enough for them, so I just… I apologized, for everything."

Hanna took Spencer's hand and squeezed it, not being brave enough to hug her in front of Aria's angry eyes. Emily opened her mouth, whispering, "Spencer Hastings doesn't apologize."

Spencer closed her eyes. She knew this could happen, they wouldn't believe her story so easily. "I don't usually apologize, but I did. That's what we should have done long time ago, don't you think? For example, when Hanna and Mona became friends, they never ever mentioned how Ali used to treat Mona. Or when I started dating Toby, I totally believed that he was okay with knowing that we had helped Ali with all 'The Jenna Thing'. How could I be that stupid? If I were them, I would have waited for an apology, and maybe that wouldn't be enough to erase the memories, but it would have been enough to make anyone feel better."

Emily smiled at Spencer, letting her know that she had believed her story. Hanna was still holding her hand, so she assumed that the only one who could be a problem was Aria. Slowly, she looked at Aria's face, not letting any emotion that wasn't regret be shown on her face. She wanted Aria to think that she regretted having gone without telling them, and she mentally sighed in relief when she saw her friend's factions softening. "If you do something like that again, I promise you that I'll find and kill you."

"Woah, little Aria is scary when she's angry!" Hanna laughed, making the tension between them immediately disappear. Taking Emily's hand, Spencer started guiding their friends towards the school doors, while mentally ticking as done the first task of her things-to-do list. Now, she only had to talk with Melissa, she needed her help.

School passed faster than ever, without any incidence to be remembered. After chastely pecking Emily's lips, Spencer drove back to her house, knowing that her sister would be there.

"Hello Spencer, how was school today?" Spencer jumped when she heard her father talking behind her.

"Normal, you know…" Spencer tried to find a way to elude talking with him without being rude, but she finally opted for asking, "Did you see Melissa?"

"Melissa? I saw her doing something in the barn, I think she was looking for some clothes." When she started walking towards the barn, her father quickly added, "Spencer! I love that you and your sister are back on talking terms, I loved it when you were best friends." Spencer smiled at her father before turning around again and running to her sister.

"Melissa!" Spencer threw herself at her sister's arms. She knew that the A team wouldn't spy on her when she wasn't with the girls. They trusted her way too much, but she wouldn't do something to lose it, because she needed it to find a way to discover them. She just needed time, and her sister was a good lawyer and the perfect person to help her.

"What's wrong, Spence?" No one had ever seen Spencer hugging her sister in public, and this was certainly a shock for both of them.

"I need your help, both as a sister and as a lawyer." Spencer looked around them, just to make sure no one was looking at them, right before starting whisper, "Mona wasn't alone, and A isn't gone, so now I'm pretending to be part of their team so I can stop them because it's the only way, but I need help and I can't tell the girls because they are everywhere and they know everything. I just need some time, and you are the only one I can trust."

"What about Toby? I'm sure he would help you without any doubt." Melissa broke the hug, seeing that tears were falling from her sister's eyes.

"He betrayed me, Melissa. He's always been part of the A team, even when we were together." Hearing the pain in her sister's voice, Melissa hugged Spencer again. She didn't know how to help her, but she was sure she had to do something. Without even knowing what she was doing, she took Spencer's wrist and tried to make her walk inside the house, but the only thing she did was quietly scream. Alarmed, she turned around, to see Spencer's face pale and her eyes wide open looking at her grip. What the hell had she done? Before she could stop her, Melissa took Spencer's sleeve and rolled it up, to see two scars. One of them looked totally cured, but the other one looked fresh.

"Spencer, why did you do that?" She couldn't believe her sister, the strongest girl she'd ever met, had cut herself. Spencer only shook her head, tears streaming down her face again. Hugging her sister, Melissa walked to the kitchen of the Hastings' house, trying to think about something that would comfort the broken girl in her arms.

"You can't tell anyone. Emily can't know about this, she thinks I'm better now."

"Better now? What's the meaning of that? Emily knows you've done it before?" Spencer closed her eyes. She couldn't look at her sister's face now, she couldn't see her disappointed face. Knowing the thoughts that were traveling through her sister's mind, Melissa took her hand and put a lock of hair behind her ear, while whispering, "I know you're hurt inside. I can't say I know how you feel, but I can assure you that I'll help you. We are sisters, and I love you, so it doesn't matter how much I have to do to make you feel better, because I'll do it."

"Thank you." That was the only thing that Spencer could say without bursting into tears again. She loved her sister, and her sister loved her too, that was something anyone could deny.


	31. Chapter 31

**A/N This is the longest chapter I've written, and I know it's a little slow and all of that, but it took me about three hours to put it all together, so I would highly appreciate your understanding if there's some little mistakes on it.**

**Craycrayforshay****: I just love Melissa, so I love writing about her being so lovely with Spence :) And yeah, Aria was angry, because she can't always be so calmly and happy in her own world.**

**xxx-Over-the-storm-xxx****: I hope this chapter makes you feel less confused. I wish I could never stop writing this story, so you wouldn't have to wish about never having to stop reading it :)**

**Finally, here it goes, for you all:**

**Chapter 31.**

Emily was sure Spencer hadn't told them the truth, or at least not the full truth, but somehow she understood that her girlfriend didn't want them to know everything. That was something their friends really appreciated about her, the fact that she wouldn't push them to tell her anything. She was the sweet one, and also the understanding. However, deep down she was sure that what Spencer was hiding was something big, and she was afraid it could break her girlfriend's already broken soul.

After the little story Spencer told them, Emily spent all day looking at her, trying to decipher what was the huge mystery under all those obviously rehearsed words. Of course, she couldn't read anything on the brunette's face, and she was dying to talk with someone about it. Considering Aria's lately behavior, especially when it came to Spencer's little trip, she thought it would be better not to tell her anything. That left her only with Hanna. Not that she didn't want to talk to her, but the blonde wasn't always the best to give advice, she was something more like the kind of friend you go to forget about something or someone and not to get her to help you about it. Thinking about it, Hanna was the only one that didn't get pissed at Spencer, and that made Emily realize that even if she didn't say anything it had to have been worse for her, after all the Mona-being-A thing. Sighing, Emily decided to approach her friend at lunch and try to talk to her, maybe she could even ask her about how were things with Caleb and everything. Without forgetting about what had driven her to think about it, Emily widened her eyes when she realized that she had any idea about if Hanna and Aria had gotten any text from A, and she silently punished herself for being such a bad friend. Before she could finish thinking about what a kind of terrible friend she was, the bell rang telling them to run for lunch period, and Emily gripped Hanna's arm and dragged her into the nearest restroom, making the few girls that were in there run away scared at the simple sight of her mean look. When had she become someone people where afraid of? She couldn't remember it, but she was sure it had something to do with Alison's memory still floating along the school.

"What are you doing, Fields?" Hanna tried to sound angry, but she couldn't resist Emily's anxiety. She had known it had something to do with Spencer when she felt the tight grip on her arm, but she just didn't want to believe it. If only she had known this relationship would give them all these problems, she was sure she would have broken it before it could have started. It wasn't like she preferred Emily over Spencer, it was nothing like that at all, but she hated seeing both of her friends hurting that much, and seeing Emily sad could break anyone's heart.

"I just wanted to talk to you alone, sorry." Emily realized her rudeness, and felt really sorry about it.

"Is this about Spencer telling us a stupid story about apologizing and Aria believing her?" Hanna couldn't avoid but sound disappointed at the fact that Spencer had really thought they were stupid enough to believe that story.

"Yes, it is." Emily sighed, knowing that she had to explain something more if she wanted the blonde's help. "I'm just worried about her, because she just had a few… let's call them dark moments, and I don't wanna see her hurt more. I don't even know if she could take it, and I know that whatever she'd done or she's doing with A she's doing it for us, for all of us, so I just… I just wanted your help, you know…"

"I know, you wanted my help because you couldn't get Aria's help." Hanna knew Emily would try to deny it, but they both knew it was the truth. No one ever wanted her help, and less they wanted her advice. She was and would always be the girl everyone called in the happy moments, but not in the sad ones, and that was always making her wonder if their friends really considered her as important as they were for her.

"It's not like that at all!" Emily exclaimed, closing her eyes and pressing her palms to her forehead. Why had it to be so hard? "I just couldn't talk to Aria, since she is being so weird about this, and you are like so understanding… I just wanted to know your opinion about if I should do something or if I should just wait. But that's not everything, I also wanted to talk to you about it… about how you're feeling?"

Hanna wiped a tear away before start talking. "It reminds me of Mona, you know? It's just the same story, my best friend betraying me, but this time Spencer has no real reason to do this, and she is only doing it because she has this thing inside of her that makes her think that she has to be always the one to take care of us, and I'm just tire of it, but I can't get angry at her because if I had the opportunity and I were brave enough I know I would do anything it would take to save you all from A." After her long speech, Hanna finally looked at Emily's face, just to see her eyes full of love and admiration towards her. Emily couldn't say what was that made her feel that way, but she knew there was some kind of feeling inside the blonde's words, and how she could forgive a friend so easily just make her feel the immediately need of hugging her.

"Why didn't you tell us about this?" Before hugging Hanna, Emily needed to be sure if she didn't trust them enough to talk about this, because it was obviously something that had slowly been killing her insides.

"I don't know", Hanna hesitated before telling the truth, "I think that sometimes you seem so happy and I just don't want to make you feel sad because of me." Unable to look at the swimmer face, Hanna stared at the floor.

"But we are best friends! You must tell us these things without worrying about how we feel, because I don't know other people but I'd rather be sad with you than be happy without you." Emily put all of her feelings inside that sentence, making it clear for Hanna that she had been dumb for thinking that their friends didn't care enough about her. Seeing that tears were streaming down the blonde's eyes, the swimmer threw her arms around her friend's neck, whispering, "We love you, Han, don't forget that."

Well, things hadn't been as Emily thought they would be with Hanna, but at least now she knew that she should have done this before. They stood there for a long while, tightly hugging each other, until the bell rang telling them to go back to class, and they broke their reluctantly broke their embrace.

The rest of the school hours passed with Emily looking at Spencer and Spencer didn't noticing anything. It felt weird, when she didn't notice something so obvious, and it just made it clearer that something was not okay with her. After school, Emily had practice, and she couldn't miss it, so she sent a text to Hanna, asking if she wanted to watch her and then they could go shopping. She wasn't the type of girl who loves shopping, but she knew it would cheer her friend up. She totally used her frustrations to swim with all of her accumulated fury, making the coach hug her when she broke her umpteenth record. She was really happy she had something to help her forget about her problems, but she couldn't stop the smile that appeared on her face when she saw Hanna waiting for her.

"You came!"

"Of course I came!" Hanna played offended with Emily, loving the way she was smiling just because of her. "Go and get some dry clothes as fast as you can, because I won't forget you promised me a shopping afternoon."

Emily did as she was told, and then they were for an intense shopping session, followed by some coffees and gossiping about whatever Hanna wanted to gossip about. It wasn't what Emily usually loved to do, but just spending some alone time with her friend made her feel better, and she decided she would wait until next day to confront her girlfriend.

Not far away from there, Aria was sitting alone on Ezra's apartment, crying at how her life had changed since she came back to Rosewood. There was something wrong about everything that had been happening lately, and she was sure it had something to do with Spencer. At first, she had been jealous that Spencer and Emily were having such a wonderful and public relationship, and she had even feared that it could make them forget about their friends, but she just pretended everything was okay. Now, she knew for sure that relationship had damaged their friendship, but she couldn't tell how. The only thing she was sure about, was the fact that Spencer had done that trip to apologize to A because of her love for Emily, and it didn't matter if she had done it for them too, because she was too busy thinking about how Spencer could have died. Thinking about it, when was the last time she had heard Spencer truly apologizing to someone that wasn't her best friends? It was weird, but she just wanted to believe her so badly that she ended believing her. Closing her eyes, Aria walked to the bathroom and cleaned her tears away, as well as her now awful make-up. After that, she went to her boyfriend's kitchen and started cooking dinner, wanting to surprise him after a few days without seeing him. Sometimes, she was so happy he loved her that she felt as she could die of happiness, but she always remembered to keep taking care of their relationship, since she knew how it ended when you took someone for granted. The best example of it was what had happened with her parents, and she was always making sure that Ezra and she wouldn't end like them.

In the other part of town, Spencer and Melissa had been talking for a long while about things that simply escaped the elder sister's logic. How could be people so mentally unstable to stalk four teenagers? Well, she knew it wasn't only about stalking, it was something more serious, that involved all kind of crimes, from stealing to murdering. When the sun came down, she let Spencer go to sleep, but not before making sure that there wasn't anything in her room she could hurt herself with, and forcing her to promise that she would leave her door open.

"Don't you have a house to go, Melissa?" Had been Spencer's only response to all of her sister's attempts to make sure she would really sleep.

"Yes, but I have something more important to do here, like taking care of my little sister." Melissa couldn't keep her voice from sounding a little condescending, as if she really were talking to a little girl.

"I am not a little girl anymore and you know it." Spencer perfectly understood Melissa's thoughts, and she quickly tried to make her think that she was okay, even if she obviously wasn't.

"I don't care about your age, you'll always be my little sister." Melissa made Spencer go under her sheets, and she lightly sat beside her, like her mother used to do when they were about three years old and they needed a kiss in their forehead to sleep.

"It didn't seem like that when you hated me." Spencer closed her eyes, trying to keep her tears from falling, at the simple thought of how their relationship used to be everything but sisterly on the last years. When she opened her eyes, she saw her sister was crying in front of her, not trying to hide it. They sight of it made her feel sorry about her bitterness, she had only tried to push Melissa away enough to make her forget about her scars without making her forget about helping her with the whole A thing, but it had never been in her plans to hurt her. "I'm so sorry, Melissa! Please, don't cry, you know I love you and… I didn't want to hurt you, or to remind you of the past."

"No, you're right, I was a mayor bitch with you, but I'm just trying to make things well this time."

"I see it, and I love you even more for it." Spencer's words finally made a shy smile appear on her sister's face, and they awkwardly hugged for a few minutes. "Would you mind to sleep with me tonight?" Spencer suddenly realized that they hadn't shared a bed since they were five years old and they were like best friends around each other. She knew the drama between them had come at the same time Alison had appeared on their lives, and now that she was definitely gone she wouldn't let anyone interfere in their new relationship.

"Sure, but you have to promise me you'll let me help you with that little cutting thing of yours." Melissa thought the best way to approach the theme would be to say it out loud, and she quickly ran to her former bedroom to change herself into some old sleeping clothes she had still in the house. When she came back, she found her sister looking at the ceiling with an unknown expression in her face. "What are you thinking about?"

"I was just thinking… I never did something like this when I was younger, not with all the pressure of being better than you at everything, and now… I just feel so weak…" Melissa made her way into the bed, carefully listening to her sister's words. "I just feel like if I didn't it before, there's no real reason to do it now… But, deep down, it just feels so good that sometimes I wonder why I hadn't done it before. Not that I've done it a lot of times, you saw that I only did it twice, but it made me forget about everything that's hurting me, and… I don't know, I can promise to let you try to help, but I can't promise to stop, because now that I know how it feels I don't know if I could forget about it so easily…"

Scared of Spencer's words, Melissa made her sister's head rest in her chest, whispering comforting words while softly caressing her brown locks. She couldn't think about what would happen the next day, when the sun was back on its place in the sky and they would have a totally different point of view of everything, but she was sure that whatever it happened she wouldn't let her sister keep hurting herself. In the time it took her to fall asleep, she planned everything to go back to the house and started thinking about asking for some free time on the afternoons at work. She could say there was something big happening at her house, which in fact was nothing more than the truth, and she could pray for them to understand it and just let her work some hours at home. Truthfully, it wasn't like she needed to be there all day, she didn't have that much to work on and at the end of the day she was always spending her time chatting instead of working, so she thought it would be better to be at home taking care of Spencer.

When she was sure her sister was asleep, Spencer carefully opened one eye and moved her right arm until she reached her phone. She had two missed texts, and both of them were from A. Sighing, she reminded herself that she would have to start working on her new activities early in the morning of the next day. She opened the first one, just to see it had attached a picture of Aria sleeping in what looked like Ezra's bed, and assumed she had to somehow find the way of blackmailing her with it. Opening the other text, she saw her assumption confirmed. She was about to put the phone back on its place, when something came to her mind. She was supposed to be on the A team now, but it didn't mean that she couldn't have a date with her gorgeous girlfriend. Wasn't it what Toby had been doing with her? Only that now there was a huge difference, since she was just trying to gain A's trust, so she could expose them. She was doing it, not only for herself and for her relationship with Emily, but for the four of them. Aria and Hanna didn't deserve all the pain that A had brought into their lives, as well as neither Emily nor she deserved it too. Her fingers dancing across the screen of her phone, quickly composing a text to her girlfriend without even checking the time before bluntly sending it.

"Can I organize a date for us tomorrow night? I miss you." She waited for an answer, but when she saw it was already 2 am she decided that the best thing she could do was let her eyes close and try to sleep, since Emily was surely sleeping. She threw her cellphone away, moving to find a comfortable spot in her sister's embrace, and allowed her mind to click off.

**A/N I hope you liked this new chapter, and you know, reviews are the best way of letting me know ^^ Anyway, I just wanted to say that sadly I won't write until New Year, since my mom is worried I'm spending too much time on my computer and I hadn't done any of my homework yet, so… Happy New Year to you all out there reading this, I really hope 2013 will be your year :)**


	32. Chapter 32

**A/N Here it goes, the first chapter of 2013. Happy New Year, by the way, and all those things people usually says about new years. I hate family dinners, and these days was the only thing I had, so it was really hard to keep my bad mood out of the story. I just wanna thank my phone for allowing me to start writing this on it, even if it's slow and uncomfortable, because I would have gone totally crazy having to talk about my life over and over again with my unbelievable huge family.**

**Craycrayforshay****: This is also a longer chapter, to make up for the time, and I hope you like it :)**

**xxx-Over-the-storm-xxx****: Glad to know you liked the chapter. I totally love Melissa, and I can't when they make her fight with Spencer on the show. I mean, they are sisters, and they don't have to be fighting all day! Anyway, thank you for understanding :)**

**So, here it goes! I don't wanna write too much before it, but… Just so you know, I love seeing that this little story has a good amount of views, and I don't understand why no one wants to tell me their opinion (excepting for two loyal reviewers and a few sporadic ones). I don't bite, I'm a good girl!**

**And that's all, enjoy!**

**Chapter 32.**

Emily woke up the next morning to the sound of alarm. She stretched her arms, feeling how her muscles relaxed from her sleeping posture. She threw on some clean clothes she found on her closet, smiling at the thought of it being finally Friday. Running downstairs, she quickly hugged her mother and cleaned an apple.

"Aren't you having a proper breakfast?" Pam Fields asked worriedly.

"I have practice before school, I don't wanna be late."

"Are you sure you can eat that apple, then?"

Emily sighed, turning around to face her mother. "Mom, don't worry, it'll be okay, but I just can't go swimming without anything in my body, you know." Without waiting for a response, she turned again to face the door, hanging her bag on her shoulder.

"Is this because of Spencer?"

Emily turned again, this time surprised, to face her mother sitting in the kitchen. "Why would it be because of Spencer?" She tilted her head to one side, mentally praying for her mother not to start hating on their relationship again.

"Because I know you've been sad for something that happened with her, and I promise I'm trying to leave you some space and not interfere with your love life, but I swear that if she is still hurting you I am going to have a few words with her." Mrs. Fields words left her daughter astonished. She'd never talked with that fierce before, not even when she was angry, and Emily really appreciated that she was only being protective with her, but she knew she had to tell her something. Even if she would love to, Emily knew she couldn't tell her the truth about anything, but she could tell her something not very far from the truth.

"Mom, trust me, Spencer is not hurting me, we are better now, trying to solve some kind of personal problems of her, but I know it'll be better sooner or later." Emily walked towards her mother, hugging her again before adding, "I love her and she loves me, and I know she would never hurt me intentionally, so you don't have to worry about it. Now, I have to go, really."

Pam Fields finally let go her daughter, not fully happy with her explanation, but deciding not to interfere, knowing that it would only tear them apart. She saw Emily walking towards her car and then run back inside the house. "I forgot my phone, mom!" She shouted from the door, quickly running upstairs and disappearing again through the door.

When Emily finally had her phone in her hands, she saw she had a text, and seeing it was from Spencer she worried she might have needed her and she didn't notice. Opening it, her worry flew away and was substituted by a huge grin. She had asked her for a date. Of course she wanted to go on a date! It wasn't exactly the thing she wanted the most, because she was dying to talk with her girlfriend about all the lies that were sadly appearing between them, but she knew she couldn't resist her, and she quickly texted a response, asking Spencer to meet her before school.

Practice was really tiring, and Emily realized she hadn't slept as well as she had thought. She rushed back into her clothes, dark jeans and a blue t-shirt with some pro-swimming message, and walked hurriedly out of the locker's room, just to see Spencer was waiting for her with a shy smile. Her face was pale, and it was obvious she hadn't slept enough, but still she was stunning.

"Good morning, gorgeous." Spencer looked at Emily's eyes trying to see if she was angry with her, and when Emily leaned to kiss her cheek, her doubts were totally forgotten.

"Good morning, pretty girl." Emily smiled at her girlfriend.

"I brought you this", Spencer said, making a single, white rose appear on her hand, handing it to Emily, who took it with a huge grin on her face. "So, what about that date? Do you wanna go out with me?" Before Emily could answer, she quickly added, "It's okay it you don't want to, I just wanted to take you out and… you know, make up for these last days."

Emily pressed her lips against Spencer's, stopping her rambling. "Of course I wanna go out with you. To be honest, as long as I get to expend time with you, I don't care what we do."

Spencer sighed relieved, taking Emily's hand and kissing it. "I'll be at your house by five thirty, then. Now, can I walk you to your class?" She tried to take Emily's books in her arms, but her girlfriend pulled away, making her frown.

"We have class together, silly!" Emily answered playfully, before suddenly becoming serious and adding, "And I don't want you to hurt your arms."

"You don't have to worry about that, and please, let's not talk about it until tomorrow. I want today to be perfect." Spencer took Emily's hand again, leading her to their next class. It would be a good day, she just had the feeling, and she wouldn't let anything or anyone, meaning A, make them cancel their date.

Walking to their class, they heard someone call them, and they turned to find a blonde head trying to make her way to them between the other students. "Spencer, I need to talk to you", that's what they heard from Hanna before she tightly griped Spencer's elbow and took her away from Emily.

"Hanna! What was that?" Spencer tried to sound angry, but she knew after everything she'd made her friends go through she just hadn't any right to be angry with them.

"That was because I see you are trying to make things right with Emily, I can see you are spoiling her with white roses, and you know I love you, but if you hurt her again I'm afraid I'll have to kill you. I am not kidding, Hastings."

Spencer hugged Hanna, loving how caring she always was with her friends. Not wanting to break the hug, Spencer whispered, "You won't have to kill me, Marin."

"Good." Hanna pulled away and looked at Spencer's eyes, smiling. "Now, we better go back to your girlfriend. And stop checking me out, I know I'm hot but I'm not planning on changing teams!" Last comment made Hanna gain a jokingly punch in her arm, and they both walked back to class laughing loudly.

Finally sitting in class, Spencer found herself not able to pay attention, which was really surprising. She knew it wouldn't be easy to pretend everything was back to normal, but she never imagined it would be this hard. Sighing, she stared out the window, daydreaming about how her date with Emily would go. She had everything planned, and she was sure it would be perfect, but suddenly she thought that a few words saying how sorry she was for making her go through all that crap she had brought lately would be a good idea. She started writing a few notes about she wanted to say. It wasn't like she needed them, but she could use some rehearsal before talking to Emily.

While the teacher was talking and pacing along the class, Emily felt a piece of paper fall into her desk, making her look around confused, just to see it was from Hanna. She shook her head, trying to tell her she didn't want to start a conversation through paper notes in the middle of the class, but the blonde only pointed at the paper with wide eyes and she had to give up on her fight and read it. "I heard your babe is taking you out on a date tonight, am I right?"

Emily barely suppressed a laugh, quickly writing an answer. "My babe? And I am not a puppy you take out for a walk, you know?"

Hanna looked at her intently when she got the answer, moving her lips in what Emily assumed was 'Is it a yes?' She simply nodded, looking at Hanna ripping another piece of paper and writing something on it. When she was about to read it, their teacher stepped in front of her desk and looked at her. "I hope you are not really thinking about throwing that paper in my class, Miss Marin."

Hanna gulped, trying to say something, but finally deciding to go for a simple "No, ma'am."

The teacher extended her hand, asking, "Can I have it, then?"

"I think it's better if I just put it in my bag." Hanna looked at Emily, making her blush at the thought of what kind of embarrassing thing she surely had written on it.

"You think wrong. If you don't want a week of detention, you better give that piece of paper to me." The teacher sounded implacable, making Hanna close her eyes and extend her arm to put the paper in her hand. When she finally got it, she formed a devilish grin and started reading out loud, "Are you planning on something dirty? Because I don't want you to go to jail for having sex in public, you naughty girl." The class laughed at the note, making Hanna turn a bright shade of red. The teacher opened her mouth again, which embarrassed Hanna even more, "I would highly appreciate if you chose to pay a little attention to my lesson, instead of talking with whoever you were talking about what I presume is their sexual life."

Emily opened her eyes, trying not to blush and looking at Spencer, who was looking at her with a smile. She knew Hanna had been talking to Emily, and she assumed they were talking about their date. She hadn't really planed on having sex, she wanted to talk Emily into starting things over again and take everything slowly, but she knew she couldn't say no to the sexy swimmer. She winked at her girlfriend before turning back to look out the window, the teacher going back to her place.

When the bell finally rang, Emily ran to Hanna, "Han, are you okay?"

"It wasn't a big deal, was it?" Hanna faced Emily with a relaxed expression. "At least she didn't know who is the dirty, naughty girl."

"I am not any of that!" Emily blushed at Hanna's comment.

"I thought you were, Miss Fields." Spencer appeared behind her girlfriend, sliding her arms around her waist and resting her chin on her shoulder, which resulted a no very comfortable position, due to the swimmer being taller that Spencer.

"I am not, and if I were I think you wouldn't get to taste it after that comment, Miss Hastings." Emily turned around in Spencer's embrace, kissing her lips tenderly. Slowly, she moved her hands to the brunette's neck, holding her tightly, while feeling her tongue running along her lower's lip. She quickly opened her mouth, deepening the kiss and not pulling away until they heard Hanna moaning, probably rolling her eyes at them.

"You know you are gross, don't you?" She pretended to be offended with her friends.

"Yes, and we know that if you had Caleb here right now you would be all over him right now." Spencer answered teasingly, going back to her normal self that they had missed for over a week.

"You know me too good, Miss Hastings." Hanna winked, calling her friend as Emily had done a few minutes ago, making both of them giggle. "Oh, please, tell me this is not a bed thing between you two?" She made a face, causing them to giggle even more. "Don't answer, I don't wanna know it. Anyway, where's Aria?"

They looked around to see if the small brunette girl was around them, but she was anywhere to be seen. Emily sighed, composing a text to Aria. Both Hanna and Spencer did the same, but deep down they knew they wouldn't get an answer, at least not any time soon.

"I think you should go talk to her, Spencer. She's been kind of… weirdly angry, lately." Emily broke the awkward silence that Aria's mention caused, and Spencer silently nodded at her. She had thought about it, about talking to Aria, but she hadn't thought about things being this tough between them.

"I know, but I think I'm not ready for her anger…" Spencer looked at the floor, ashamed of recognizing her weakness. Hanna took her hand, squeezing it in an attempt to make her feel better.

Emily sighed, putting a lock of Spencer's hair behind her ear and whispered, "I know you are not ready, but you can't wait for too long. Anyway, you got me, and I don't want you to be sad in out wonderful date, remember?"

"How do you know it will be wonderful?" Spencer asked, looking at Emily's eyes.

"Because everything you know is wonderful." Emily leant forward and pressed her lips to her girlfriend's, lacing her fingers between her hair.

"I think this is enough, if you don't want me to puke because of your cuteness." Hanna pushed them inside their class, breaking their kiss and gaining a pair of death glares for it.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxx

At five o'clock that afternoon, Emily realized she hadn't any clue of what kind of clothes she should wear, and she only had a half an hour to get ready. Opening her closet, she started throwing anything she thought could be great on her bed. Sighing, she closed her eyes and started thinking about the date. Knowing Spencer, she probably would take her to an expensive restaurant who knows where, and she remembered she had the perfect dress for that kind of thing. She started searching for it, and when her mother opened the door to ask her how she was doing with the search, she fell inside her closet.

Mrs. Fields ran to help her stand up, and smiling she said, "I'm helping you walk out of a closet, don't you think it's funny?"

Emily opened her mouth and stared at her mother's face. Slowly, she started answering, "Please, tell me you just hadn't made a joke about me and walking out of a closet."

"Oh dear, I didn't want you to get angry." Pam hugged her daughter, worried about her reaction.

"It's okay, it's just that… I never had the opportunity to actually come out…" Emily closed her eyes, trying to stop the tears forming in her eyes.

"I was just trying to be fun, you know… I know I wasn't the most open-minded mom ever, but I am trying and you know I love you more than anything." Mrs. Fields looked at Emily's eyes, who simply nodded. "Okay, and now that we made that clear… What are you wearing tonight?"

"You'll have to wait until Spencer arrives." Emily smiled at her mom, looking happy again.

"Did I raise you to be a teaser?" Pam smiled back at the swimmer, adding before leaving, "Anyway, you know you only have ten minutes left, don't you?"

Emily looked at her watch and freaked out, seeing that it was true she only had ten minutes to get ready. Taking the dress from her closet, she quickly put it and started applying some makeup to cover the stress of the week. She looked at her reflection on her mirror, and smiled at the sight. She was wearing a light green dress, which showed enough of her legs to drive Spencer crazy, but without being too provocative. This was the only opportunity they would have to forget about everything, and if one of them did anything wrong it would end as any of their last encounters. Both of them needed to refresh their minds and try to start things all over again. Someone knocked at the door, and she sped down the stairs to see her mom hugging Spencer.

"I never said you had to be so breathtakingly beautiful." Spencer walked to the swimmer and chastely kissed her cheek, knowing that Mrs. Fields was seeing them.

"Don't you like it?" Emily asked worried. What if she had thought she was stunning when she wasn't?

"Of course I do, you couldn't be more beautiful. We are lucky we are going to be alone, I don't want everyone hitting on you." Spencer answered, quickly regretting her last sentence and turning around to face her girlfriend's mother while adding, "Not that we will be totally alone, we won't do anything, you know… It's just that there won't be a lot of people around us, but I promise I won't touch Emily."

Pam smiled at Spencer's rambling. She wasn't worrying about their sexual activity, she had finally understood her daughter was a teenager and she simply tried not to think about it. "Don't worry, Spencer, I understood you perfectly." To make her words clear, she hugged the girl again, smiling at her daughter while doing it. "Now, I think you should go, and I want Emily back by midnight."

"Mom! I am not Cinderella!" Emily tried, to protest, but the look in her mother's eyes made her realize that she was doing an effort and that she should appreciate it. Sighing, she added, "Okay, let's go."

Taking Emily's hand, Spencer led her to her father's car. She had asked if she could take it, and after begging for a long while he finally let her drive it but only for one night. Emily smiled when Spencer went to open her door, and before sitting, she threw her arms around Spencer's neck and kissed her passionately. "You know you are stunning, don't you?"

"I know, and I also know that your mom might be under one of those huge curtains of hers looking what we're doing." Pecking the swimmer's lips, she pushed her inside the car and ran to her sit. After closing the door, she took a black scarf from her purse and said, "I know you are wondering where are we going tonight, but I don't want you to know yet, so if you would let me cover your eyes with this…"

"Why? I wanna know!" Emily pouted, trying to make Spencer talk, but the brunette smiled and put the scarf covering her girlfriend's eyes. "At least it smells like you."

"It's mine, it would be weird if it didn't smell like me." Spencer answered with a quiet laugh. Speeding out of the driveway, she put the radio on, while saying, "Just relax, because this will be the best date of your life."

Searching with her hand one of Spencer's hands to lace their fingers together, Emily whispered, loud enough for her girlfriend to hear, "Being with you, everything is the best thing of my life."

**A/N I know, cliffhanger, but I want the date to be a full chapter, so… You'll have to wait! :)**


	33. Chapter 33

**A/N Here's the date! Just so you know, I wrote this while listening to a playlist which contains things form people like Miley Cyrus, One Direction, Taylor Swift and that kind of stuff, so… I just hope you like it, because I found it really hard to think about what to write. Thank you to those who read, review and to those who favorite or/and follow this story. And I don't wanna say anymore, because I know I'll end writing too much, so… Enjoy!**

**Chapter 33.**

Knowing her friend's mother as well as she did, by 00.01 Hanna was already calling Emily. She couldn't wait to know how her date had gone, and even if she was still worried about Aria her curiosity was stronger than her. The phone rang three times before a quiet voice appeared on the other end of the line. "Hello?"

"Em, it's Hanna." She thought about chit-chatting but she decided to go directly to what she wanted to know. "Tell me everything about tonight."

"Relax, blondie, I just got home "Hanna heard Emily telling her mother who was she talking with. "Wait a minute, I'll put my pajamas."

"Damn it, I should've skyped you!" Hanna listened to Emily's laugh on the other end. Sice they had lived together, they had become even closer, and she was more than happy to hear Emily laugh happily again, especially after Spencer's late behavior.

"I'm back, you wanna hear about my flawless girlfriend and our perfect date or you'd rather keep imagining my naked body?" Emily got into bed, smiling at how much she sounded like Hanna.

"You know I have a wonderful boyfriend who has something you don't, don't you?"

"Please, don't say he has a penis."

"You offend me, you know?" Hanna tried to play offended, but it was hard to suppress a giggling at how well they knew each other. "Actually, I was going to say he has the sexiest voice ever, but I just remembered there's nothing sexier than listening to your girlfriend talk. Oh, and by the way, Caleb has an amazingly huge..."

"Don't you dare, Hanna!" Emily could've changed, but she still blushed easily.

"Heart! I was going to say heart!" Hanna was now really offended, she had really pretended to say her boyfriend's got a big heart. Looking at the clock, she saw twenty minutes had passed and she hadn't got any word about what she really wanted to know. "Now, tell me about your date."

Emily thought about telling her everything, but she was tired and the only thing she wanted to do was think about Spencer until falling asleep. "I'm sorry Han, but I'm really tired. I promise I'll tell you tomorrow, but let's just say that there's no doubt Spencer is my princess charming."

Hanna sighed, knowing that she should let Emily sleep. At least, she had a promise that tomorrow she would be told everything, and that was enough for her. "I'll let you go, but just because I love you. Good night, little mermaid."

"Good night, blondie." Emily smiled at Hanna s words. Little mermaid, she had never called her that before. Closing her eyes, she couldn't stop the grin that appeared in her face. Maybe she could be creepy, sometimes even scary, and maybe all that strength around her was only a façade, but she couldn't deny Spencer was her princess charming. Her soul mate, her other half. Emily was made for her, for loving Spencer, and the thought of it made her grin even bigger. Without making any more noise, Emily started to remember her date.

-O-

_With her eyes still blinded, Emily felt the car stop. "Can I see now?"_

"_Not yet, love. You seem a little impatient, is everything okay?" Spencer didn't want her girlfriend to have a bad time because of the blindfold._

"_Nothing's okay, Spencer." Emily turned to where she thought Spencer was, and added, "It can't be okay if I can't see how flawless you look tonight."_

_Spencer laughed at the comment, and Emily tried to kiss her, failing in the attempt. "Only five more minutes, I promise." Emily crossed her arms and didn't answer, amazed at how easy it seemed for Spencer to organize a super date while they were being stalked by a full team of people who hated them. She heard her girlfriend opening the door, and in a few seconds she felt her door open and her hands being taken between Spencer's soft ones. She let her lead her for something that seemed like grass, until they stopped walking and Spencer left her and came back in less than a minute. She felt Spencer's hot breath in her neck, sending shivers through her body, and before she could focus on what she was doing behind her the blindfold fell from her eyes._

"_Wow." That's the only thing she could say. In front of her, there was a small lake that reflected the light of the sun. Looking around, she saw they were in the woods, probably still in Rosewood. The grass seemed dry, and it was warm, considering they were in winter. Near them, there was a blanket full of food, with a bottle of something that seemed like white wine. She was totally speechless. Where they were and how Spencer knew about that place was something that she couldn't understand, but seeing the anxious look on her face she decided not to ask anything. Instead, she took her face between her hands and pressed their lips together. She only separated from her when she felt the need of air, and stared on Spencer's eyes, while whispering, "You know you are perfect, don't you? You've let me totally speechless, this is amazing."_

"_You are the one who makes me perfect, Em." Spencer smiled and kissed the swimmer's lips before adding, "I like knowing that I've let you speechless, but I hope you are hungry because food's waiting for us."_

_Walking hand by hand, they carefully sat in the blanket facing each other. Spencer made lots and lots of food appear from everywhere around them, and Emily stopped her before she started eating. "Can we toast?"_

"_Of course!" Spencer made two glasses appear, and poured what indeed was white wine in them._

_Emily hold her glass and said, "For us, and how lucky I am for having such a wonderful girl in my life."_

"_I am the lucky one." Spencer said, and before she could add anything more Emily took a sip from her glass and put it on the floor, taking Spencer's one and making her drink. They smiled, staring into each other's eyes, until Emily's stomach remembered them that they hadn't eaten yet._

_They finished eating in a comfortable silence, and Spencer quickly put everything excepting the wine in her car, not allowing Emily to help her. Going back to the blanket, this time Spencer sat as close as possible to Emily. Taking her arm, she made them lay down, looking at the sky._

"_You know what? I've always wanted to name a star after someone important for me." Emily turned so fast at Spencer's words that she would have broken her neck if she weren't so astonished at her girlfriend's words. Spencer saw her, and smiling she continued talking, "I thought about buying a star, and naming it after you, but… I've been thinking about it for a long time, and I thought it would light our lives or something like that, but… The stars are free, aren't they? It doesn't matter how much you pay to purchase one, they will always be free, and anyone anywhere can call them as they want to, and anybody would know if the star had an owner." Emily stared at Spencer, trying to see where she was trying to go with her speech, but she couldn't imagine what she had in her mind. Spencer knew that, and she decided not to stop talking. "I have enough money to buy a full constellation, but would it mind? I don't need to have a star up there in the sky to light the darkness around me, because you are my star, my light, and as long as I have you I don't need any other thing, not even the sun." Turning to face Emily, Spencer moved her hand to rest on her girlfriend's cheek. She moved herself closed to her without looking anywhere but at her eyes. "I love you, Emily Fields", she whispered, making Emily shiver at their closeness._

"_I love you too, Spencer, and I hope you know I don't need you to constantly spoil me with presents, especially when you've bought me a wonderful ring." Emily tried to kiss Spencer, but she pulled slightly away, not allowing their lips to touch._

"_So sad you don't want my presents, because I have something I thought you would like." Spencer smiled at Emily's face, seeing that she was clearly debating between the curiosity of knowing what her present was and standing to what she had just said. "I don't care if you say you don't want my presents, I want to spoil you as much as I can and I'll do it." Emily didn't have time to frown, because Spencer took a box from behind her. Pushing it towards Emily, she sat, waiting for her girlfriend to do the same before opening her gift. Sitting, the swimmer looked at it before moving her shaking hands to open it. Inside the box, there was a simple, black notebook. Emily looked at Spencer, the question she wanted to ask written on her face. Sighing, Spencer started to explain. "It's something I wanted you to have… It's something like a diary, but I wouldn't call it diary. I don't really know how to explain it, I just wanted to give it to you, so whatever happens you'll always have me with you. I wrote it, but before you can laugh at me, it's not a diary about what diaries are usually about, I don't talk about my crushes and that sort of things… It's like a print of my heart, and you are the only one who can see it."_

_Emily opened and closed her mouth a few times, not knowing what to say. That notebook was something she had never expected, especially coming from Spencer. "Spencer…" Emily took the brunette's hand and kissed it lovingly, before continue talking. "Spencer, I promise I'll read it and take care of it for all my life, but you know that there's nothing that could tear us apart, don't you?"_

_Spencer smiled sadly, not being able to hide from Emily that she was worried. "I hope so."_

"_I assure you that there's nothing stronger than the love I have for you, and I don't care what happens between us, because I will always love you and I will never let you go." Emily put her gift inside the box, and leaned forward to kiss Spencer's lips. Before they could even notice it, they were lying down again, but this time Emily was on top of Spencer, her hands flying through her body. Spencer moaned when she felt Emily's hands brush past her chest, making the swimmer open her eyes and abruptly pull away._

"_Emily?" The hurt was obvious on Spencer's voice and eyes, and Emily kissed her again to comfort her._

"_Don't worry, it's just that I just realized it's getting really dark and we were making out in the middle of only-you-know-where."_

_Spencer smiled relieved, and playing with a lock of long, dark brown hair, she said, "I am the only one who knows this place because, oh surprise, I live next to the woods and I love running when I'm upset."_

"_You came here running?" Spencer nodded before noticing that Emily wasn't exactly happy with the thought of it. "Are you crazy or what? What if something happened to you?"_

_Spencer looked at Emily, trying to know if she was really angry with her. "Anything happened, Emily."_

"_It could have happened!" Seeing that Spencer was looking at her obviously worried that she could be angry with her, and Emily immediately calmed down. "I am not angry, but you have to promise that you won't do it again."_

_Spencer sighed, whispering something that seemed like a promise, and Emily smiled. Looking at her clock, Spencer saw it was time to go. "Emily, you know I hate this moment, but we have to go."_

"_Okay, but can we kiss for a while?" Emily asked with a cute smile. Spencer smiled too, and they chastely kissed for a few minutes, forgetting about their little argument. "I think we should go now, if you don't want to suffer the anger of my evil mom."_

"_You know she is not evil and she loves you, don't you?"_

"_Of course I know, Spencer." Emily kissed her again, before taking her hand and helping her up. They took the blanket and walked to the car, quickly driving back to the Fields' house._

_Spencer walked her girlfriend to her door, and they kissed until they felt Mrs. Fields behind the door. Giggling, they said their goodbyes, and Emily looked at Spencer walking to her car with a huge grin in her face. After the brunette left to her house, Emily opened her door and found herself face to face with her mother. Without saying anything, she hugged her tightly and then ran to her room, quickly texting Spencer to tell her that she was already missing her, and the phone rang before she could change into her pajamas._

-O-

Emily looked at the notebook resting in her nightstand, feeling too tired to read it. Before getting asleep, she took it and hid it under her pillow, just to make sure no one would take it away from her. She saw Spencer had answered her text, telling her that she loved her and wishing her sweet dreams. "Of course I'll have sweet dreams, I'm sure I'll dream about you", whispered Emily, her eyes closing.


	34. Chapter 34

**A/N Here it goes a new chapter. I have no time to write anymore, or I won't be able to touch my computer in a whole week so… Thank you for reading, reviewing and everything. Enjoy!**

**Chapter 34.**

Spencer woke up from her sleep more tired than when she had gone to bed. She tried to open her eyes, ready to feel the pain of the light in them, but there wasn't any light in her room. Carefully opening one eye, she searched for her phone to see what time it was. 4.27 am. Groaning, she sat in her bed, looking around her and trying to decide whether to sleep more or not. If she closed her eyes again, she knew she wouldn't have any rest, all of her nightmares trying to hunt her. If she didn't, she knew she would be tired all day, and at least when it was time to go to bed again maybe she would be so tired she wouldn't have any forces left to have dreams. Sighing, she dragged her feet to her bathroom's door, thinking about having a long, warm shower. When the water started running down her body, she threw her head back and moaned.

"You shouldn't be so loud this late at night, Spencer." Spencer jumped when she heard her sister talking to her. She hadn't heard her entering the bathroom, and it made her realize how vulnerable she was. "What are you doing having a shower right now, anyway?"

"What are you doing in my bathroom right now? Are you trying to kill me?" Spencer didn't bother to answer Melissa's question, they both knew the answer.

"No, I'm trying something more like protecting you." Spencer put a towel around herself before stepping out of the shower, and Melissa kept talking while she brushed her hair. "I wanted to tell you I discovered something, but I don't know if you'll like it."

"Tell me."

Melissa sighed at her sister's rudeness. She understood she was going through something big, but there was no need to treat her like that when she was only trying to help her. Anyway, she still loved her enough to forget about it, focusing on the time where she would finally be a reckless and happy teenager, and they both could enjoy it. "I know where Toby is living now, he is not alone. Apparently, he is sharing an apartment with some old friend of his family, but I couldn't discover anything about them, not even their name or age."

Spencer turned around, still brushing her hair, with fear wrote all over her face. "Please, tell me you weren't asking around about him." Before Melissa could answer anything, she took a step toward her and started whispering, "Do you know that you are risking both of our lives by doing what you did? Are you crazy or what? I asked for your help, but I didn't ask for you to play Sherlock Holmes. This is something big, they are not only a few teenager playing the crazy stalker role. The killed people, they killed Ian, your fiancé! If you risk this again, I'm afraid I'll have to put you out of this."

"Spencer…" Melissa hugged her sister, not bothering about her clothes getting wet. "I'm so sorry, I didn't know you would get angry, I just wanted to help…" Tears started falling down her eyes. She was always the one who was always right, not the one to say sorry. It had always been Spencer's place, and she now understood how hard it should have been for her to grow up listening to how wrong everything she did was.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have got angry with you, it's my fault I didn't tell you." Spencer whispered inside the hug, not moving her arms to hug back. Melissa felt it, and she quickly took a step back. The Hastings wasn't the kind of family where everyone kisses and hugs each other, and everyone shared their feelings. Spencer stared at the floor, not knowing what to say or do, and decided it would be better to go back to brushing her hair. Melissa gasped, and she quickly turned around again. "What do you want now, Melissa?"

Melissa stared at her arms with her eyes wide open. Not being able to say anything, she pointed at them, and Spencer's face went pale when she saw what she was looking at. "You had only done it twice when I saw it the other day, now it looks like you spent all your free time cutting yourself."

Spencer quickly put a hoodie on, trying to cover her arms from her sister's sight, even if she knew it was too late. "You don't have to worry about this, I want to talk to you about something."

"Something like the reason why you are doing this to yourself?" Melissa followed Spencer inside her room, not wanting her to change subjects so easily.

"No, something more like I sent to Ella Montgomery at picture of her daughter sleeping in the bed of the man who used to be her English teacher and now we don't know anything about Aria since like two days ago."

"You did what?" Melissa opened her mouth astonished. Everyone in Rosewood knew that Aria was dating Ezra Fitz, but it was a shock to hear that her sister had done something to hurt one of her best friends. "You know that if you bend yourself to a bully's desires then you won't win anything, don't you?"

"I know, but I need time, and I know their relationship is strong enough and they won't break because of a photo." Spencer looked so confident of her words that Melissa decided to believe her. "Anyway, I know she'll be angry if she discovers it was me, so I need your opinion: do I tell her or do I wait until she finds out?"

Melissa sighed; it was hard to help her sister, especially if she knew she was cutting herself to feel better. "Tell her, but make sure you had a good reason to do it, because if not she'll realize what you're up to." With that, she left the room and went back to her bed. It was still too early, and she could use some more sleep.

Spencer thought about running to clear her mind, but she remembered the promise she had made to Emily the previous afternoon. Of course, she wasn't worried about getting hurt by A, but still she didn't want to break her weak promise, knowing that she would be disappointed at her. Since she couldn't run, she decided go to the kitchen and make something, she could make cupcakes and share them with the girls, as a way of saying sorry after everything that had lately happened between them. Seeing it was still early for her parents to be up, she quietly tiptoed to the kitchen and started cooking, trying not to make noise.

When she had finally ended in the kitchen, she went upstairs to see she had a text from Hanna. "My house, at noon." Spencer smiled to herself, finding it funny the way Hanna had of asking her to come over. Putting a pair of black, tight jeans and changing her hoodie for a preppy, dark blue sweater, she carefully put the cupcakes in a bad and drove to Hanna's. She was early, but she wanted to have some alone time with the blonde first.

Before Spencer could even knock at the door, Hanna appeared and hugged her. "I knew you would arrive soon, and I see you brought food with you."

Trying to hide the pain the hug had caused in her arms, Spencer smiled and walked into the house. "I made the food, and I wanted to talk to you alone."

Hanna followed her to her own kitchen, and started pouring water in two glasses. "I can't believe it, Spencer Hastings cooking! I thought you had slaves to cook for you!"

"I may be rich, but I don't have slaves. It's just that not everyone in this town is as lazy bones as you." Spencer took the glass Hanna was handing her, and sit, changing into a serious tone. "Anyway, I wanted to talk to you about something, but only if it's okay with you to talk about it."

"What do you want to talk about, Spence? Is it about your blatant lies about this whole A mess?"

"I didn't lie to you about anything, and now can we get serious, please?" The look on Spencer's face made Hanna close her mouth and actually listen to her. "I wanted to talk about when Ali told you how to… you know, get rid of food."

Hanna's face turned really serious when she heard Spencer's words. "Spencer, that's not something I'd like to talk about."

"I just wanna know if it was hard to stop it…" Spencer stared at her hands, not daring to look at her friend.

"It wasn't hard to stop, because there was nothing to stop. I only did it because she almost forced me, but if I had done it because I had really wished it, then I wouldn't have stopped." Hanna realized her answer sounded a little ruder than she had intended to, and tried to sound nicer when she asked, "Is it because you are into something? Because you know you can tell me anything, don't you?"

"It was just curiosity; if I had something going on I would have told you."

"Spencer…" Hanna saw the brunette was lying, but she couldn't tell what was that she was hiding. "You are not taking drugs, are you?"

Spencer started laughing and Hanna looked at her worried. When she finally could speak again, she said, "I am not taking drugs, Hanna! Why would you think that?"

"Because you've been acting creepier than usual lately, and you don't seem the same, maybe…" Hanna shrugged, this time being she the one to look at her hands.

Spencer walked around the counter and hugged her blonde friend tightly. "I promise you I am not a drug addict, and I know that if I were I would be telling you the same, but you have to believe me."

Hanna hugged Spencer back, bursting into tears. Between sobs, she started talking again. "I believe you, it's just that everything is so messed up these days, and you are acting weird, and Aria looks depressed but she won't say why, and Emily is just so worried about you… I think we've never been this apart since Ali's disappearance."

Spencer ran her hand through Hanna's hair, trying to comfort her. "I promise you this isn't like that, we will stick together."

Hanna calmed down and they started chatting about school until Aria appeared at the door. She looked totally depressed, restless and it seemed like she had slept with her clothes on.

"Aria! What happened?" Hanna was the first one to talk, before running to hug their tinny friend.

Without hugging back and staring intently at Spencer's eyes, Aria answered the question. "Ezra broke up with me, because A sent a picture of me sleeping on his bed to Ella and he thinks it's better for me to see other people, people of my age who wouldn't get me into this kind of trouble."

Spencer walked towards her friends and joined the hug, not letting her emotions show in her face. "I'm sure he'll call you sooner or later, he just needs to realize that he's not bad for you."

Hanna looked at Spencer inside the hug, wondering if she had something to do with it, and added, "Yeah, he will realize it and I'm sure he'll fight for you. The love you have for each other is stronger than Ella Montgomery's fury."

"I hope so." Aria stopped looking at Spencer and whipped the tears from her eyes. Changing the subject, she asked, "Where's Emily?"

"She should be here soon…" Hanna opened the door to see if Emily was near, and she found herself face to face to the swimmer, her hand ready to knock at the door. "Well, it seems like she's already here."

"Hello to you too, Hanna." Emily pushed her playfully and walked into the house. When she saw Spencer, she kissed her, lingering on her lips until she heard a cough from behind her back. "Aria! Were you crying?"

"What do you think about a sleepover to talk about everything, girls?" Hanna asked before Aria could say anything. Her friends looked at each other before quietly nodding, and she started running from room to room shouting. "My mom won't be back until late, we'll have to order dinner, and there's no alcohol because she locked it somewhere in her room."

"Why are you running, then?" Emily shouted back, giggling at the blonde's craziness.

"Because I wanna find it." A few seconds later, she appeared with her phone in her hand. "And because I had to text my mom to tell her."

**A/N Okay, sleepover coming soon!**


	35. Chapter 35

**A/N Here goes the sleepover, part 1. Hope you enjoy it!**

**Chapter 35.**

After searching in every single place of the house she could think about, Hanna decided that they would have to have an alcohol-free sleepover. Not that she was only thinking about getting drunk, but they could sure use the distraction, especially Aria. Looking at the couch, she saw Emily was holding her tight, while Spencer was sitting there looking at the infinite.

"Spencer, can you come help me?" Before she could think about saying it, the words escaped her lips. Spencer nodded and carefully walked around the couch, towards the kitchen. Without letting the brunette take a sit, Hanna started yelling-whispering, "What the hell have you done, Spencer?"

"Sorry, what do you think I've done?" Spencer tried to keep her emotions for herself and put her best innocent face.

"I know you have something to do with this whole Aria thing." She crossed her arms on her chest, looking at her with an expression that made it clear that she couldn't fool her. "You may think I'm some kind of dumb bitch you can play with, but I'll let you know something", walking until her face was mere inches away from Spencer's face, Hanna added, "I know you think this is the right thing to do, but you are not the one to take care of all of us, and if you keep hurting us like this we'll have to do something about it."

"I don't know what you're talking about, Hanna." With an angry face, Spencer walked back to the couch, where she sat next to Emily. When Emily felt she was upset, she motioned for her to join the hug, but Spencer decided to stay away from Aria.

"Are you okay, Spence?" Emily looked at her worried, and it only made Spencer feel guiltier.

"Don't worry about me now, hon." Softly caressing her girlfriend's cheek with her hand, Spencer managed to force a smile in her face, trying not to make it look like a grimace.

"Who should she worry about now, Spencer?" Aria broke the hug with Emily and looked at Spencer's eyes. "Are you planning on hurting someone else now, maybe Hanna and Caleb?"

Spencer stood still, looking at Aria's eyes without even winking. Emily looked from one girl to another, silently admiring the quiet battle between them. She loved and trusted Spencer with her life, and she knew that if she had done anything it had never been with the intention of hurting any of them. Before she could say anything to stop them for having a fight, Spencer breathed deeply and started talking, "I don't know why you all think I had something to do, but just so you know, I love you all because we are best friends. At least that's what I thought. Now, I think I'll just leave, because it seems like I'm not welcome in this sleepover anymore, but before I leave…" She stood up, quickly gathering her things around the room, and started talking again, "I've always thought that your relationship with Ezra was stronger than A, your parents and whatever the hell could happen, and if I were you I would be knocking at his door instead of crying in the couch of one of my best friends like a helpless little girl." With that, she opened the door and started walking to her car.

"Spencer…" Emily ran after her, knowing that she was really upset and not wanting her to drive in that condition. "Spencer, wait!" She had to yell to get her girlfriend to stop walking, but it worked.

"What do you want, Emily? Are you going to hate on me, too?"

Spencer's eyes were filled with tears, and Emily's heart melted at that sight. Running, she wrapped her arms around her girlfriend's waist, holding her close to her own body. "You know I would never ever hate on you." Moving back to look at her face, and when she saw the tears streaming down her face she started to kiss them away. "You know I love you too much, and I could never hate you, even if I tried to."

"There's such a fine line between love and hate, Emily."

Spencer looked worse than Emily had seen her before. She was totally torn apart between the feeling that Spencer needed her love and help and the fear that Aria could be right. Deciding that the love she had for the brunette was stronger than anything, she leaned forward and pressed their lips together, only pulling apart when she felt the pain in her lungs telling her that she needed to breathe. "But I am standing far away from that line, Spencer." That statement finally brought some light back to Spencer's face, and Emily took her hand, trying to make her walk back inside the house. "I know Spencer Hastings doesn't apologize, but one of your best friends is inside that house crying because her boyfriend left her, and you said some rude things to her a few minutes ago."

Letting Emily lead her in the house, Spencer whispered, "I'll go, but remember that Spencer Hastings only says sorry to the love of her life."

"Being who, that love of your life you're talking about?" Emily stopped at the door, turning to smile at her girlfriend.

"Well, I think you know her… She's this wonderful, caring, sweet, understanding, amazing, funny, intelligent, lovely girl I've been in love for a long while." Emily's smile grow bigger, and she tried to kiss Spencer, but she stopped her to add, "Oh, and I forgot to mention that she is so beautiful it hurts when you see her, but it hurts more when you can't see her. She also has this unbelievably hot, tanned body, maybe because she's the most talented swimmer around here. And her hair", Spencer tangled her fingers in Emily's hair, continuing her speech, "her hair is like a dark curtain that will always keep you save from the darkness, and when it falls down her shoulders it makes me want to propose to her." Taking her girlfriend's face between her hands and staring into her eyes, she continued talking. "She will never understand how she makes me feel, and I love her so much that every single morning I have to remember myself that this is not just a dream and that she loves me back. Loving her makes my heart ache, but it's a good kind of ache and now that I know how it feels being loved by her I don't think I could live without it." Spencer briefly kissed Emily, but pulled apart just to say, "I love you, Emily."

Emily whipped a few tears from her face, and looked at Spencer's eyes when she answered, "I love you to, Spencer. Always had, always will." This time, they weren't happy only by kissing, and their tongues started a fight inside their mouth while their hands wandered through their bodies. Breaking the kiss before they couldn't stop, Emily smiled again and said, "You amaze me, Hastings."

Smiling, they took each other hand and turned towards the door, to find Hanna and Aria looking at them crying. "You girls are cuter than cute together." Hanna tried to stop crying, and she hugged Spencer, whispering loud enough for the four of them to hear it, "I'm sorry for doubting of you, I know you love all of us, Spence, and I hope you know I love you too."

Spencer pulled back and smiled at her blonde friend, trying not to giggle while saying, "I know, but it's good to have someone to remind it to me, even if it looks like a panda." Hanna looked at her for a few seconds before realizing the meaning of her words, and then ran inside the house to look at the mirror on her hall. When she saw what the tears had made to her make-up, she screamed and disappeared into the bathroom, appearing in less than a minute with her face cleaned and a relieved smile in her face. Her friends started laughing, and when they could stop Spencer found herself looking at Aria. "Aria…"

"No, Spencer, don't say anything." Aria threw herself at Spencer, who awkwardly hugged her, not being sure what to do. "I'm so sorry I treated you like that, I shouldn't have been that mean to you. Could you forgive me?"

Spencer closed her eyes, trying not to cry, but she couldn't do anything about it. "Of course I forgive you", was the only thing she could whisper, before starting sobbing without any control. She felt guiltier than ever, and the only thing she could do was pray for her plan to have exist and her friends and girlfriend to forgive her. Before the guilt could make her say anything she mustn't say, she asked, "Do you wanna go to Ezra's and talk to him?"

Emily looked at her girlfriend, trying to say that she thought it wasn't a good idea only with her eyes, but when she saw the smile on Spencer's face she felt like Aria and Ezra would have a happily ever after ending. Aria quickly nodded, and Hanna felt like she was the only one with a little of sense still on her head. "Are you sure this is a good idea? Shouldn't you at least call first to tell him you're going?"

"I know he will be alone at his department, Hanna, why should I wait?" Aria looked at her with her huge eyes wide opened, making her sigh and shake her head.

"At least clean your face first, we don't want him to know that you've been crying all day." Aria smiled and hugged the blonde, glad that she was with her on this.

When they were on Spencer's car, their seat belts buckled, Spencer stepped on the accelerator, not worrying about breaking the speed limit. They finally reached Ezra's street, and Spencer stopped the car in front of the door of his apartment, turning to face Aria before saying, "You go alone, we'll wait here. Take your phone, whatever happens you call us."

Hugging all of them, Aria quickly ran to the door and disappeared inside the building. "Are you sure this won't hurt her more?" Hanna asked, worried about their small friend.

"I'm more than sure, Hanna." Spencer smiled at her mysteriously and turned to face the building again, putting some music on for the time they'll be waiting for Aria to say something.

**A/N This is all for today, and tomorrow I have to go back to school so… :'( Maybe I won't be able to write, if my teachers call my mom to tell her I hadn't done most of my homework, but I'm too lazy to do it now, so I'll take the risk.**

**I hope you liked this, I'm actually thinking about a way of ending it, at least for a while, but it will surely take me a few more chapters to do something not rushed. And that's all, thanks for reviewing and everything, you know I love it. Oh, and I wanna send all my love to ****Craycrayforshay****, for being here since the begging, and ****xxx-Over-the-storm-xxx****, for being such an amazing reviewer, and… I think I'm getting emotional only by thinking about this little story coming to an end, so I should stop writing… :')**


	36. Chapter 36

**A/N I wanted to upload this yesterday, but I had things to do and at the end I couldn't. Anyway, here it is. The song I mention later on here is **_**Valley Of The **_**Dolls, by Marina and The Diamonds (I highly recommend you listen to this girl, because she is totally amazing and her lyrics are wonderful!) Oh, and… Pretty Little Liars is back! Finally! It was one of the most amazing episodes ever, maybe it's just 'cause I missed it so much, but I totally loved it! :)**

**Craycrayforshay****: Hanna and Aria have known Spencer for too long, and I feel like when you know someone so good as they know each other you just can tell when they're lying and all those things. I'm going to be sad too, but sometimes I feel like I'm expending too much time on this, and I get the feeling that it's not as good as I wanted it to be… Anyway, I'll keep uploading chapters for a while, so don't be sad :)**

**xxx-Over-the-storm-xxx****: I'm sorry you're confused about Spencer, but as you said she is my fave, and even if I think it's nice that she gets to be in A's side deep down I love happy endings, and there's no happy ending without a heroine (being Spencer) and a girl being saved (Emily) for the bad guys (A) and then they living happily ever after. So, she won't harm Emily because she loves her, as she also loves Hanna and Aria. Anyway, I'm soooo glad you like this story… :')**

**Finally, here it goes! Enjoy!**

**Chapter 36.**

While they were waiting for Aria, and since she had nothing better to do, Hanna closed her eyes and threw her head back, listening to the music that was softly making her feel tired and tired. It was dark outside their car, and she knew she shouldn't fall asleep there, but she couldn't do anything about it. Her mind started wandering towards dreaming land, until she heard an unknown voice singing. Opening her eyes, she saw Emily was totally asleep, and turning towards Spencer she whispered, "Spence, did you hear that?"

"Did I hear what, Hanna?" Spencer turned to face Hanna, who was sitting in the backseat of her car, and tilted her head while looking at her concerned.

"Someone singing, you didn't hear it?" Hanna started to think if it had been only a dream, but the look of amusement on Spencer's eyes made her realize it wasn't a dream. "Spencer Hastings, are you laughing at me?"

"No, I'm not laughing at you, Hanna Marin." Spencer smiled and winked at her blonde friend, before saying, "In fact, I was actually singing, but I guess I wasn't as quiet as I thought I was."

"Oh my God!" Hanna shouted, making Emily jump. Without paying attention to the death glare Spencer sent her, she continued shouting, "How come I've never heard you sing?"

Emily stirred, thanks to Hanna no longer asleep, and opened her eyes to look at her girlfriend while asking, "Is she screaming because you were singing?" Spencer shrugged, looking outside the window of the car to see if Aria would appear and free her from Hanna's infinite curiosity.

"She wasn't only singing!" Hanna moved so she could see both Spencer and Emily, and continued talking, "She sounded like an angel, her voice so deep and soft at the same time!"

Emily smiled, realizing that she had never heard her own girlfriend singing. "Be careful, Han, it seems like your developing such a girl crush on my woman." She giggled when she heard the words leaving her mouth, and Spencer looked at her shocked. Her woman? Emily saw Spencer's brain processing the words, and before she could say anything about her way of talking, she leaned forward and pressed their lips together. Emily smiled when she felt the taste of Spencer's cherry lip gloss, and slowly traced her girlfriend's low lip with her tongue without pulling apart, gaining a groan from the back of her throat.

Before their kiss could get more heated up, Hanna started talking again, making them separate and look away trying to hide their blushed faces. "You don't have to worry about that, it's obvious that you can totally control her, and besides, if I had to get crushed on any of you it would be the sexy swimmer, not the scary, preppy girl." That comment made them turn so fast that their hair hit each other's face.

"Spencer's not scary!" Emily exclaimed, pretending she was angry, but added, "But you're right about the preppy part."

"I am not preppy!" Spencer's eyes flew from Emily's face to Hanna's grin, and back to her girlfriend. "I am not preppy, and I can't believe you didn't say anything about this blondie back here calling you a sexy swimmer!"

"Why would she be angry because I call her sexy, Spence?" Hanna smiled, knowing that this wasn't a real fight, "Are you jealous or afraid of losing her for me?"

"I am not jealous!" Spencer stuck her tongue to Hanna, and kept talking, "I know she wouldn't change this sexiness for a blonde, fashion victim like you, and she is my sexy swimmer."

"Your sexy swimmer?" Emily leaned until her lips were almost touching Spencer's bare neck. The skinnier girl could feel her girlfriend's warm breath on her skin, sending a shiver through her body. "Since when I'm your sexy swimmer, Spencie?" She let her tongue slightly touch Spencer's skin, gaining a low moan from her, and pulled back to see that she had her eyes closed and was chewing on her lower lip. "I'm waiting for your answer, hon."

Hanna looked at them worried that they had forgotten she was there, but not wanting to say anything in case they would be too embarrassed to talk to her again, especially knowing that Emily would probably hide from her for over a week if she opened her mouth. Before she could decide what to do, Spencer moved her left leg over Emily and sat on her lap, whispering, "Since I'm the only one who can do this to you." She started kissing her hungrily, with her hands behind Emily's neck. She discretely moved her left hand, the one Hanna couldn't see, until it was on her girlfriend's stomach, sliding it under her shirt and towards her breast. When she reached her goal, she squeezed it, making Emily put her own hands on Spencer's shoulders and sweetly push away. When Spencer realized that Hanna was still on the backseat, staring out of the window and pretending they weren't there, she said, "Sorry, Han…" and went back to her seat.

"It's okay, it's not like I've never seen you making out." Hanna tried to act naturally, mostly for Emily.

"Okay, now that we are waiting for Aria to come back, what do you two suggest we do?" Spencer quickly changed the subject, also thinking about how her girlfriend could get so easily embarrassed.

"You sing!" Both Hanna and Emily exclaimed, laughing when they saw Spencer's look. There was no way she could get out of that car without singing, and she still had look that Aria wasn't there to press her even more. Sighing, she leaned to her door and made appear a few CDs.

"Okay, since it seems like if I don't sing you'll force me to do it, what do you want me to sing?"

Hanna took the CDs, and looking at them, she saw there were no more than a few words on each of them. "How do you expect us to know what songs you have in each of these little babies if you only write weird stuff on them?"

"I don't write weird stuff, it's the day I made them and the mood they're meant for." Taking them with her right hand, she put one on the car's player and skipped a few songs before she found one she liked to sing. Before any of the girls could say anything, she closed her eyes and started singing with her deep, low voice.

_In the valley of the dolls we sleep_

_Got a hole inside of me_

_Born with a void, hard to destroy with love or hope_

_Born with a heart, broken from the start_

_And now I die slow._

She took a deep breath to keep singing, but a knock on her window made her jump. Seeing it was Aria, she unlocked the doors so she could get in, and waited until she was seated to keep singing, without asking how it had gone with Ezra.

_In the valley of the dolls we sleep_

_Got a hole inside of me_

_Living with identities_

_That do not belong to me_

_In my life, I got this far_

_Now I'm ready for the last hoorah_

_Dying like a shooting star_

_In the valley, in the valley…_

Aria looked at Spencer with her normally big eyes looking huger than ever. "Since when do you sing that well?"

"That's what I asked her, but she didn't answer me." Hanna answered before Spencer could say anything. Quickly going to what she wanted to know, she asked without hesitation, "How did things go up there?"

"Well…" Aria took a deep breath, and when they were starting to worry about Ezra breaking her hear, she started talking so fast they couldn't stop her. "I knocked at the door and he opened the door and when he saw me he widened his eyes, but he let me go inside and motioned for me to seat on his couch. I sat, and before he could ask I told him that I love him more than anything and that I will fight for him no matter what, and he told me that he loves me too, but that he wants the best for me, and I got a little angry because we had already been through that conversation, but when I was screaming that he didn't love me enough he kissed me and made me stop talking, and when he looked at me it was as if he was trying to send me all of his love, and I just saw it that he really thought leaving me was the right thing to do. I punched his arm, and he kissed me again, and then we talked about how we won't let this happen again, and he called Ella to tell her that anything happened between us, that he was waiting for me to be ready or something, and she totally believed it and… I love him, and he loves me, and we are back together." Hanna hugged her, finally making her stop talking, and she burst into tears. Both Emily and Spencer took her hand, and squeezed it gently. When she was more calmed, she whipped her tears away and smiled at Spencer. "Spence, what do you say about going back to Hanna's and have a girls' night?"

Spencer smiled back, and answered, "Sure, we'll be there in less than ten minutes." Doing as she had said, Spencer drove towards the Marin's house, and parked her car on the driveway. When she went to open her door, she saw both her best friends and her girlfriend were asleep, and she closed her eyes, guilt hitting her. Hating it, she shook them until they were awake enough to walk into the house.

**A/N I didn't say it before, but if you can and want to, you really should listen to Troian Bellisario singing, because she has this wonderful voice and... Well, there's a few videos on Youtube, just in case you wanna hear her.**

**The last part of this eternal sleepover will come soon, I promise!**


	37. Chapter 37

**A/N I have no time to write, so this is a short chapter, and I can't write anymore 'cause I really have stuff to do, so I'll just say that I know all the liars can sing, but I can't do anything about Troian being always my fave (maybe because I wake up to her voice every day). I'm sorry I can't write more, hope you enjoy this little chapter.**

**Chapter 37.**

Spencer pushed Hanna, Aria and Emily into Hanna's house. After making sure the door was locked, she saw they were now fully awaken in the couch, talking about watching a film. Sighing, she approached them and said, "No movie until we eat something, girls." They laughed at her words, making her frown. Knowing what was going through her mind, Emily took her hand and made her sit on her lap, wrapping her arms around her waist and putting her chin on her shoulder. Spencer turned to her girlfriend, still frowning, and asked, "Were you laughing at me?"

"Not at all!" She briefly kissed Spencer's lips, and added, "We were laughing because Aria bet it would take you ten minutes ask for food, and Hanna said five."

Spencer rolled her eyes, asking, "Who won, then?"

Both Hanna and Aria left to the kitchen, ready to order a pizza, leaving Emily and Spencer alone. Emily grinned and answered, "I won, of course."

"You?" Spencer moved so she was sitting on the couch, with her legs wrapped around Emily's hips. Putting her hands on Emily's shoulders, she leaned until their lips were almost touching, and asked again, "You won?"

"Yeah…" Emily's eyes were attached to her girlfriend's lips, and she was totally unable to look anywhere else. Feeling her mouth go dry with desire, she licked her own lips and said, "I won, because I made the right bet."

"The right bet?" Spencer frowned again, not knowing if she should offend at her girlfriend betting on her or take it as a simply joke.

"I said it wouldn't take you more than two minutes." Emily leaned at tried to kiss Spencer, but she pulled apart, still frowning. Emily put on a serious face and looked at the skinnier girl's eyes, purring, "Aw, are you mad at me now because I know you too well?" Spencer nodded, knowing that her voice would betray her, and let her eyes wander to Emily's lips. The swimmer saw her, and a cocky grin spread along her face. This time, when she leaned forward she made sure of putting her hands behind Spencer's neck, so she wouldn't pull back again. Not that she wanted to, because she quickly abandoned herself to the kiss, forgetting where they were and that they weren't alone, sliding on the couch until she was lying with Emily on top of her. Emily felt Spencer trying to suppress a groan, and this time she was the one who pulled apart. "Now that you're not mad anymore, I think we should go with the girls."

"Sure…" Spencer got off the couch, taking Emily's hand to help her. When they were both standing, they made sure their hairs weren't too messed. Seeing their lips were swollen, Spencer smiled and threw her arms around her girlfriend's neck, looking at her eyes while carefully leaving a sweet kiss on her lips. "I'd never be mad at you, Emmy."

Grinning, Emily put her arms on the small of Spencer's back, playing with the hem of her t-shirt, and said, "If I were worry you were really mad, I would have said sorry." Taking Spencer's hand, she led her to the kitchen, where Aria and Hanna were waiting for them while drinking coffee.

"Finally!" Hanna took two cups and poured coffee on them, handing them to her friends while saying, "We would have left so you two could have some alone time, but my mom is due at any moment and I didn't want her to walk on you two doing whatever you do for fun."

Aria widened her eyes and looked at her shocked. She hadn't complained while they were waiting for them, so she hadn't expected her comment, but anyway it was Hanna and you could expect anything from her. Seeing Emily was blushing, she felt the urge to say something, "Don't worry, we know you weren't doing anything."

Hanna opened her mouth to say something, but the bell rang telling them their dinned was there. Instead of continuing with her teasing, she looked at Spencer with pleading eyes, who quickly understood that she wanted her to go open the front door with her. After paying the boy who brought them the pizza, the locked the door again and started walking back to the kitchen. Before she could move, Spencer's phone chirped in her pocket. Seeing that she had a new text, she looked up to see the worry on Hanna's eyes, which made her feel guilty because she was no longer under A's stalking radar. Opening the message, she saw it was from Melissa. "We need to talk, Spencie –M", was all it said. When Spencer saw her sister was calling her how she used to when they were little, a huge smile appeared on her face, making her feel more relieved that she'd ever felt.

"If I wasn't sure you're in love with Em, I would say it was a guy who texted you." Hanna looked at Spencer trying to wonder what the text had said, the pizza still on her hands.

"It was Melissa, we are getting along better than ever. She wants to see me tomorrow morning." Spencer kept her smile on her face and took the food from Hanna, happily walking into the kitchen. Hanna felt happy for her friend, she knew she had been dying for receiving some love from Melissa since always, and followed her.

Hanna opened the fridge and put a bottle of diet coke on the table, serving them before they started eating. When they were finished having dinner, they decided they were no longer tired, maybe due to the coffee and the coke, and sat on the couch under a blanket to watch some random TV show until Hanna's mom was back. While they were wrapped under the warm, soft blanket, Spencer allowed herself to close her eyes and just think about Melissa's text. They had spent lots and lots of time together lately, and it made her realize how better things could have been if she had trusted her before. It was a little too late to regret anything, but both of them were really having a true sister's relationship. Since Spencer had first asked Melissa for help, she had made everything that was in her hand for her little sister, and she had even stood quiet about the cuts she had seen on her arms, simply because Spencer had asked her not to tell. When Spencer was totally sure she wasn't being stalked, they decided that neither of their phones was safe, so they had invented a secret code, just like they used to do when they were little and used to play being secret detectives on their Nana's house. Spencer had never talked about this with any of her friends, not even with Toby, so she was completely sure it was safe. The only fact that Melissa had called her Spencie meant that she had something really big to tell her, and that could possibly be either that she had tracked all of the A team members or that she had some good proof to make them stay away from them. Even if she was happier than ever because of it, she was still worried for her sister's safety, and she was also worried about what would be the girls' reactions when they heard the news.

Noticing that Spencer had her eyes closed, Emily slid her hand until it was resting on her girlfriend's thigh, and she had to do her best not to giggle when she saw Spencer opening her eyes shocked at the touch. The swimmer smiled and winked, turning again to face the TV, without moving her hand from its new place. Spencer stared at the show too, not caring what it was about, and being as careful not to alert Hanna's ultra-senses as she could, she put Emily's hand away with her own hand. Emily quickly looked at her frowning, worried that something was wrong, but she relaxed when she saw Spencer shaking her head with her eyes totally darkened with lust. Leaning until her lips were almost touching Emily's ear, Spencer whispered, her breath sending a shiver through the swimmer's body, "Stop it, Fields, if you don't want me to take you here in front of Hanna and Aria." Emily smiled and stopped her teasing, wrapping her arms around Spencer's waist and pulling her closer.

Aria saw the girls' interaction, and guessed that something had gone on under the blanket, but not wanting Hanna to notice, she didn't say anything. Feeling really tired after all things that had happened that day, she loudly yawned, causing Hanna and Emily to yawn too, making Spencer laugh. "Girls, I think I'll go bed." She stood and started walking towards the stairs, not waiting for any of her friends, assuming she was sharing the bed with Hanna.

"We all should go, it's been a hard day." Spencer started following Aria, Emily and Hanna following her. When they got to Hanna's bedroom, they changed into their pajamas and got into bed. Sweetly kissing her girlfriend's lips, Spencer asked, "Can you just hold me tonight?"

"Tonight and always, love." Emily smiled at the ceiling and put Spencer closer to her. Spencer put her head on her girlfriend's chest, listening to her heartbeat until she was asleep.


	38. Chapter 38

**A/N The end is coming! I'm sorry, but it'll take me a few days to upload, 'cause I'm ill and this weekend I have to study, so I won't have any time besides for sleep. Thank you for your reviews, I really really really love them. Hope you enjoy this, and hope to be back before Monday!**

**Chapter 38.**

The sun rose in the sky, while Spencer was still sleeping comfortably wrapped in Emily's arms. Hanna smiled when she saw how calmly and in love they looked. Looking to the other side of her own bed, she saw Aria had her eyes open, and she whispered, hoping it wouldn't wake up the girls, "Good morning, lover, how much did you enjoy with this blonde sexiness?"

Aria rolled her eyes and propped herself up on one elbow. "You know not everyone is attracted to you, don't you?"

"Yeah, I know", Hanna answered, winking at Aria and gaining a blow with one of her pillows. She wanted to scream, but she didn't wanted to disturb Spencer's and Emily's sleep, so she pinned Aria to the bed and started tickling her ribs. When she felt like the punishment was hard enough, she continued whispering, "But I know you sure are attracted to me, because you're always wanting to sleep with me."

Aria looked at her friend shocked, not knowing if she really believed what she had just said or not. She opened and closed her mouth twice, unable to find the right words. When she saw the smirk on Hanna's face, she exhaled a breath she didn't know she was holding, and pushed her until she was on the edge of the bed. "I almost thought you were flirting with me, that was so not funny!"

"It was, honey, but I'll let you dream about your sexy boyfriend until we have breakfast." Going back to her previous position on her side of the bed, Hanna stared at the ceiling, wondering what would have happened to them if they hadn't staid together. Surely, all of them would be totally broken, alone. When A first started with them, she had had Mona, and when they decided to stick together she realized how much she had missed them, but it wasn't until Mona betrayed her that she really noticed how lost she would be without them by her side. Reaching for Aria's hand, she squeezed it and said, "Aria, you know I love all of you, don't you?"

Aria turned to face Hanna, worried about her sudden question, and put a lock of her blonde, curly hair behind her ear before answering, "Of course we do, we all love each other, we are best friends." Aria turned again to face the ceiling, and closing her eyes added, "I love you all guys more than anything, more than even Ezra or my family, you know?"

"Aria…" This time, Hanna was the one who moved herself to face her friend, looking intensely at her closed eyes until she opened them and looked at her. Smiling, she whispered, "You know what's amazing?" Aria shook her head, wondering what the blonde had on her head. "How much love you have inside, for such a teeny tiny person you are."

Aria laughed quietly, used to her friends' jokes about her height, and hugged Hanna tightly. While she was hugging her friend, Aria looked for the first time at Spencer and Emily on the other bed, and a huge smile appeared on her face. Pulling apart, they started chatting about whatever came to their mind, until Aria decided to say what she had thought for a long while. "I always thought that if Emily would fall for one of them it would be for you, you know?"

"Why?" Hanna frowned, hoping the answer wouldn't be because she was the most similar to Alison out of all of them. When Ali disappeared, she had totally changed her look, but she never had intended to be like Ali, even if through the year after her missing she had wished she could see her how she was now, with all the fat she used to tease her about.

"I don't know, you simply look closer, and…" Aria took her eyes away from Hanna's face, and continued talking, "Well, she really liked Samara, who was blonde, like Ali, and… like you."

Hanna laughed quietly. "Yeah, and she was in love with Ali, Maya and now Spencer, and just in case you didn't notice none of them has something in common."

Aria blushed, realizing that Hanna thought her opinion was stupid, and looked at her friends sleeping together again. "They are just so perfect… I just hope nothing bad happens to them, because it would tear them apart."

"I hope so…" Hanna got off her bed and started getting ready to take a shower, before walking to the bathroom. Once there, she took her phone and texted Caleb, asking him when he would be back and telling him how much she missed and loved him. She started singing out loud while the water was streaming down her body, making Aria giggle and waking up Emily.

"What the hell is that?" Emily asked to the room, stirring carefully, not wanting to wake up her girlfriend. "Why did you let her go in there, Aria?" She still remembered how much she used to hate Hanna for waking her up singing when she was living in the Marin's house, and she realized that she would never stop hating it. Slowly sliding out of the bed, she sat on the floor, smiling at Aria, "Good morning, by the way."

Aria had her eyes opened wider than ever, and her gaze wouldn't move from Spencer. Emily noticed it, and turned around, her face going pale when she realized Spencer's sleeve was slightly up, so the scars on her left arm where totally visible. Quickly, she reached for the covers in an attempt to hide them, even knowing it was too late. Then, she walked to Hanna's bed and sat next to Aria, who was still looking at Spencer. "Did she do it because of us hating on her when she disappeared?"

"No, it wasn't our fault, and neither hers." Emily sighed and closed her eyes, feeling Aria throwing her arms around her and hugging her tightly. "I know you are worried, but she won't talk about it, so it's better if you don't say anything. Plus, I suspect Melissa's already trying to help her, and I'm glad, because at least she has someone, since she doesn't want me to do anything."

"Emily, she loves you, and knowing Spencer I'm sure she's just ashamed of showing her weakness, so why don't you talk to Melissa and wait until she's ready to open to you?" Aria didn't believe in the words she just said, if Spencer were her girlfriend she would be talking to her whether she wanted it or not, but something on Emily's voice told her that she had tried more than once. She was sure that Spencer had promised not to do it again, just to go back home and cut. It hurt her knowing that one of her best friends had been going through something so big, but the only feeling she could focus on was the hate she had towards all the A team and the things they were doing to them. With time, she had even grown to hate Alison for all the pain she had caused and still was causing them. She wished she could go back in time, and tell their younger them that they should be friends between them, but not with Ali. Then, they would be living regular teenager's lives, and Spencer wouldn't be hurting herself.

"I've already talked to her, she told me she's trying to help Spencer, and she swore to me that if she couldn't do anything she would talk about it to her parents. She says… She says that she knows a girl who took professional help and now she's living a normal life…" Emily looked again at her girlfriend, hot tears streaming down her face without any control, and whispered, "She loves her so much, I can't believe there was a time when we didn't trust her."

Hanna walked in the room interrupting Aria, who was going to say something when she saw their friend coming back from her shower. Worried, she looked at them, seeing that Emily had been crying and that Aria's face was paler than usual, but decided not to say anything unless they started telling her. Turning to the other bed, she saw Spencer was still asleep, and a huge smile appeared on her face as she started walking to her. When she was next to her, she took her hair between her hands and moved it slightly above her friend's face, so drops started falling on her.

Spencer felt something wet on her face, and carefully opened one eye. The light blinded her, and she closed it, trying to guess what time it was. Trying again to open her eyes, she saw Hanna was standing about her, dropping water from her hair on her face. Smiling, she reached and pulled Hanna in the bed, running towards the bathroom before any of the girls could do anything, and screamed, "Showering now!"

After they all had showered, they had breakfast and watched TV for a while, until Ashley Marin asked them if they would stay for dinner. Since it was Sunday and they had school on the next day, Aria, Spencer and Emily politely shook their heads, thanking Ashley for the invitation. They talked for a long time, and suddenly Hanna disappeared with her phone in her hands, leaving the girls worried. When she came back, she announced that Caleb was taking her out on a date next Friday, and that he had asked her to wear an unseen dress, because they were going to meet his mother. After they celebrated the news, they decided it was time to go back home. Spencer drove both her girlfriend and Aria, and she sped towards her house after dropping them.

She parked her car on the driveway, and ran to the front door. When she saw her mom was there with Melissa, she slowed herself, trying to hide how anxious she was. "Hi mom, hi Melissa. I'll be back in a few minutes!" Locking her eyes with Melissa, she slightly tilted her head towards the stairs, hoping she would get the hint and follow her.

Spencer walked to her room, leaving her bag on her bed, and started her computer. She saw she had a few new mails, nothing important, and when she was going to turn it off a new one appeared. Seeing it was from A, she smiled and opened it. "Did you really think I wouldn't notice, Spence? So sad, you were supposed to be the intelligent one, but I guess it only works when it's about getting an A on school. –A"

Someone knocked at the door, and she quickly closed her laptop, before shouting, "Come in!"

Melissa appeared on her room with a huge smile on her face, and motioned for her sister to sit with her on the bed. "I got them, Spencer."

Spencer started crying of happiness, and tightly hugged her sister, making both of them fall down on the bed giggling. When their mother call them to go help with the dinner, they both went downstairs hand by hand, making Veronica Hastings smile at them. "What are you two up to now, girls?"

"Oh mom, you'll know soon", Spencer smiled.


	39. Chapter 39

**A/N Here it goes, chapter 39.**

**Craycrayforshay****: I know there's too many questions, but answers are slowly coming :)**

**And there's nothing else I have to say, so… Enjoy!**

**Chapter 39.**

Two days had passed, it was Tuesday now, and neither Spencer nor Melissa had decided how to act about the information they just got in their power. Mrs. Hastings was still asking them what had driven them close again, but they just said they had more in common than they had believed.

Even if she knew it was what she had to do, Spencer hated lying to Emily, and every single minute that passed with them still trying to find a solution was killing her inside. Walking towards the school doors, she smiled when she saw her girlfriend running to her.

"Good morning, beautiful." Emily smiled too and threw her arms around Spencer's neck, leaving a tender kiss on her lips. "I missed you so much tonight…"

Spencer took a lock of Emily's dark hair between her fingers and started playing with it. Slowly, she moved her hands to her girlfriend's waist, and looking at her asked, "Would you meet me for a date tonight?" She was about to leave her a moment to answer, but when she saw the hesitation in her face she added, "Before you say anything, I wanna add that I've already asked your mom and she said yes, as long as you're back at home before nine thirty, which by the way I think is enough, considering that we'll have school tomorrow."

Emily started jumping, without pulling away from Spencer, and shouted, "Yes!" A few people turned around to look at them, and Spencer quickly leaned to kiss the swimmer, trying to make her stop being so loud.

Taking each other hand, the girls started walking inside the building, really praying for the time to fly until it were time for their date. They made a brief stop at their lockers to catch their books, and Spencer walked Emily to her class. Once they were at the door, she kissed her cheek, asking, "Meet you at lunch?"

Spencer looked away, and answered, "I'm sorry, but I have to go out of school to do something really important, but I promise I'll be waiting for you when school ends, ready to make you have a good time."

"Oh…" Emily couldn't hide her deception, but she wondered if Spencer would go out to prepare their date, and that made her smile. "You better give me a true good time, Hastings." She caressed her girlfriend's cheek with the back of her hand, and started leaning forward to kiss her, until her teacher appeared behind them and cleared his throat. Spencer quickly kissed Emily's forehead and ran to her own class, leaving the swimmer walking to her seat with a huge grin.

The three first periods ended without any of them had realized how fast the time was passing, and both Emily and Spencer smiled happily when the bell who indicated it was lunchtime rang. Emily walked slowly to their usual table, where Hanna and Aria were already waiting for her, trying to see where Spencer was going.

Hanna motioned for her to go with them before going for her lunch, and so she did. "I'm hungry, Han, so please be quick."

"I will." She said, looking at her with a mischievous smirk. "I know what you were trying to see, and I'll just say that I know where she is." Emily widened her eyes and stared at her intensely, trying to make her understand that she would kill her if she didn't tell her everything she knew. However, before Hanna could open her mouth again, Aria elbowed her, making her look at her in disbelief. "You are too strong to be that small!"

"And I don't understand how the hell you can't keep a secret after everything that we've been through!" Aria seemed angry, but both Emily and Hanna knew that she was only trying to protect what probably was intended to be a surprise. "I'm sorry Em, I shouldn't have let her open her big mouth."

Emily simply nodded and went to buy her food. She shook her head, trying to discover what her friends were hiding from her, but she couldn't imagine anything they could do on a date that needed previous preparation and also worth of telling Hanna and Aria.

On the other side of Rosewood, Spencer met her sister and greeted her with a hug. Carefully, she took a small bag from her hands and put it inside her car, making sure it was hidden well enough for Emily not to see it later when she went inside the car. Whispering, she asked, "Did everything go as planned?"

Melissa nodded, taking Spencer's hands between hers, and said, "I hope everything goes well tonight, because tomorrow you'll have to tell them."

Of course Spencer knew she was running out of time. She had been planning tomorrow's afternoon all night, and every single detail and possibility were covered with a plan. She wouldn't let anything ruin the moment, and even if she knew they would be angry she had already thought about the perfect way of making each of her best friends calm down and maybe if she was lucky even forget.

Looking at her clock, Spencer saw it was time to go back to school, so she hugged Melissa again, leaving a kiss on her cheek, and ran back into her car. If this had happened only two weeks ago, she would be freaking out about being in danger at the moment, but she was totally sure they were in a better position than ever. Speeding towards Rosewood High, she left her sister back. When she was back at the school's parking, she stopped her car and ran into her next class, knowing that if she saw Emily maybe she wouldn't be able to hide her excitation.

Four hours later, after what seemed like ages for Emily, she found her girlfriend waiting for her near the doors. Running to her, she pecked her lips and said, "Hanna and Aria know something about tonight that I don't know, so I want you to tell me now."

Spencer smiled and tilted her head, answering, "Sorry love, but if I told you it wouldn't be a surprise." Emily started pouting, and she had to close her eyes to avoid telling all of her plans to the cute, puppy face looking at her. "Okay, we gotta get going if you wanna know soon."

They walked to Spencer's car, Emily jumping next to her girlfriend, and then went inside it. Before Spencer could switch on the ignition, Emily started hurrying her, and she put some random music on the radio to keep her quiet. In only fifteen minutes, they were parking on Spencer's driveway, which made Emily look at her questioningly. Kissing her girlfriend, Spencer ran out of the car and opened the passenger's door to help the swimmer stepping out. Taking her hand, she led her to the barn, locking the door after they were inside.

"Wow…" Emily's words made Spencer turn around, seeing how Melissa had decorated the barn for them. Around them, what seemed like Christmas' white lights were hanging from the ceiling and a table was settled for the two in the middle of the room. Turning to her girlfriend, Emily kissed her passionately, before saying, "I love you, Spencer Hastings."

"I love you too Emily, and I hate to say this, but there's food waiting for us and we don't want it to get cold." Spencer smiled and took Emily's chair out for her, making her giggle. When they were both sitting, facing each other, they started eating until their stomachs were full of food.

Slowly, Spencer stood up and started walking to the fridge. She opened it, and a few seconds later she turned around with a huge smile on her face and a bottle of champagne in her hands. Emily grinned at her, and walked to kiss her, before taking the bottle in her own hands and opening it. "So, what do we celebrate?"

"Well, there's three things we are celebrating now, but you'll only know two of them today…" Spencer took two glasses and Emily poured the champagne on them. Before drinking, she started talking about what they were celebrating. "First of all… Well, I'm not sure about how to say this, but… I've been talking with Melissa and she found something like a group where I could go and find help for, you know, stop cutting and… At first I got angry, but then I thought about it, and about how much I love you, and I know this situation is hurting you, so I decided to try it…"

Emily put her glass down and kissed Spencer's lips, making her forget what she was going to say next. "Spence, you don't have to do this for me, you have to do it for you."

"I know, but you are the most important thing for me, so if I do it for you then I'm doing it for me." Spencer stared into her girlfriend's dark eyes lovingly, and added, "If I hurt you, I'm hurting myself too, and I have to stop doing it." After they kissed again, they took their glasses and took a sip from them.

Spencer was quiet, looking at Emily, and she allowed herself to get lost into the beauty queen she had the luck to date, or at least that's how she saw it. Hating having to bring her girlfriend back to reality, Emily took her hand and said, "Spencer, didn't you say you were going to tell me two things? Because you only told me one, and I can't wait to know more."

Spencer smiled, and answered, "Sure, but first you have to sit on the couch and wait for a moment." Emily did as she was told, and Spencer walked calmly to the door, where she started running to her car and back, locking it again in less than a minute. Slowly, she walked to the couch where Emily was sitting and kneeled down in one knee, opening a little box in her hands. "Emily Fields, will you marry me?"

**A/N Cliffhanger here, you can hate me!**


	40. Chapter 40

**A/N Okay, here it is, the answer to Spencer's proposal! Before anything, does anyone know a way of getting an A on Physics that doesn't include cheating? Because it seems impossible for me to get a good mark on that subject, and if I don't get good marks then I'll have to say good bye to my computer, and that would mean leaving you all waiting for the happy ending I promised, and I wouldn't like having to do that :(**

**jrzygurl89****: Maybe A is done with, maybe it isn't… Anyway, there'll be a happy ending, don't worry about that ^^**

**xxx-Over-the-storm-xxx****: I can't deny I missed you, dear. I'm always looking forward to talking to you again, but I understand you were busy and all of that, so don't be sorry about anything. Anyway, I'm really glad to know you liked the chapter :)**

**Craycrayforshay****: Nice to know the proposal surprised you, because it was supposed to be a surprise ;)**

**That's all, enjoy!**

**Chapter 40.**

"_Emily Fields, will you marry me?"_

Spencer's words echoed in the room, and when she realized Emily was pale, she started to sweat. Had she rushed things? Maybe Emily wasn't ready for that kind of compromise yet. Without moving from her position, she nervously added, "I mean, not now, when we are ready, after we graduate…" Spencer's face started to fall when she got no answer, and tried to speak again, "Em, it's okay if you don't wanna marry me… I mean, we have plenty of time, and I know I've not been on my best these days, but I promise everything will go back to normal before you think, and… Well, I can keep this ring and give it to you later…"

Emily interrupted Spencer by putting two of her fingers on her lips, and took a deep breath before saying something. "Spencer, I'd be crazy to refuse being your… fiancée?"

"Is that a yes?" Spencer's face lit up slightly, but she didn't allow herself to get too excited, just in case she was misunderstanding Emily's words.

"Of course it is a yes!" Emily jumped up from the sofa, and then bent on her knees next to her girlfriend, "You didn't even have to ask me, I would marry you whenever you wanted without even thinking about it." She put her arms on Spencer's shoulders and pressed their lips together, crying while hugging the girl who was the love of her life. They whipped each other tears, and it took Emily a few minutes to stop the sobs and say, "Is this what Hanna was teasing me about?"

"She teased you?" Spencer widened her eyes, and then started laughing, shaking her head, "I should've known she would tease you." Taking Emily's face between her hands, Spencer kissed tenderly her lips, and when they pushed apart she had a huge grin on her face. Looking at the clock, she saw they still had an hour until Emily had to go home, and she remembered that the ring was still on its box. Taking it, she took her girlfriend's left hand and slid it on her ring finger. "This ring means that my heart belongs to you, and that one day we'll share every single moment of our lives."

Emily looked at the ring, admiring the thin gold strip and the shinning diamond in the middle of it, big enough to say that her now fiancée loved her, but small enough to avoid everyone asking about it. It was beautiful and discreet, just like Emily. "This ring means something more, Spencer." Looking at Emily's eyes, Spencer's question was obvious, and the it didn't take Emily too much to smile and answer, "It means that I'm yours, and only yours."

Before realizing what she was doing, Spencer burst into tears. She had never realized how lucky she was of having Emily, and sometimes she had taken her for granted, but she promised to herself that she would treat her as she really deserved to be treated, starting on that moment. "Oh Emily, I love you."

Emily kissed the tears away from Spencer's face, and when she was about to say something they heard a knock on the door. Taking her girlfriend's hand, Emily walked to open the door, where she saw Melissa, Aria and Hanna, the last one with her hand ready to knock again. Sighing, Emily closed the door again, and turned around to face Spencer, who was looking at her with a puzzled face. Without saying anything, the swimmer softly whipped away the tears on her now fiancée's face. Smiling, she moved her hand from Spencer's cheek to the back of her neck, pulling her forward by bending down, sweetly kissing her. When their kiss was over, Spencer grinned and pulled her girlfriend close again, making their lips meet in a more heated kiss this time.

Emily could feel Spencer's heart beating faster than she thought was healthy, and moved her hands to carefully push her away. When their gazes met, the swimmer swallowed hard, seeing her girlfriend's eyes darkened with lust. She was about to kiss her again, but Hanna's voice pulled both of them out of their own world.

"Open the door, girls, I'm not going away." Sighing, Emily opened again the door, not looking away from Spencer's eyes. Hanna saw how they were looking at each other, and said, "It seems like we're interrupting something, girls."

Spencer reached blindly for Emily's hand, lacing their fingers, and turned to face her blonde friend. Looking at her annoyed, she answered harshly, "Yes, you are." Without waiting for an answer, the brunette looked again at her girlfriend, and a huge grin started to appear on her face when she reminded herself that she wasn't only her girlfriend now. She was her fiancée. She liked the sound of the word, even if the latest memory she had of hearing it was referring to her sister. Slowly, Emily's lips moved to form a matching grin, and both of the girls got lost in their lover's smile, forgetting about the people around them.

Suddenly, Aria coughed, and it made Emily and Spencer reluctantly look at her. Seriously, she started explaining why they were there. "Sorry girls, I know this isn't the moment to be here, and I promise I tried to stop Hanna, but… Damn, even Melissa tried to stop her, but you know how she is!"

"Hey, don't blame me for everything, little girl!" Hanna crossed her arms and frowned, adding, "I still remember your face when you appeared at my house saying we had to talk with them, so here we are, talking."

Melissa looked between all of them, wondering if she should've tried harder to stop Hanna, but anyway she'd never had the opportunity to know her sister's friends properly, so she couldn't have known how to react. Looking at her sister, she saw she was holding Emily's hand, and she couldn't but smile when she saw the ring on the swimmer's hand. Turning off the girls talk, she started thinking about how better her sister seemed to be getting, worried it could be only a façade. Well, at least she had Emily, but they could only hope she wouldn't get angry at Spencer for lying to her. It wasn't until she felt everyone looking at her that her mind came back to the barn, just to hear her little sister saying, "No, she can stay, she knows everything."

"Preppy girl said what?" Hanna widened her eyes and opened her jaw at Spencer's words, looking at her friends trying to find support. Instead, she found Aria's hand on her arm, trying to calm her.

"I told her, because I needed her help and she needed to know, not because I wanted to risk my sister's life by telling her about something we're not supposed to talk about." Spencer's face became serious, and Emily squeezed her hand to silently tell her that it was okay, she was there with her. "Now, can you tell us why you're here, so you can leave and we can enjoy our night?"

Hanna opened her mouth, suddenly remembering what her friends had been talking about before they appeared there, but Aria elbowed her, talking before she could ask anything. "So, we got this totally weird message from A, saying that it's over, and I thought they would kill us or something…"

Both Spencer and Melissa chuckled, making everyone in the barn turn to look at them. Of course, Spencer had given Melissa's the phone A had sent her, and she had managed to text the four girls with the same story.

"Spencer…" Emily sighed, fearing her fiancée explanation of why she and her sister had chuckled, but all of her fears were whipped away when she saw the loving look Spencer gave her. Behind all that love, pride was quite visible on Spencer's eyes, and the swimmer understood that it was really over. "Are you sure?" Was the only thing she managed to say, feeling unable to make the air go to her lungs and closing her eyes in an attempt to calm herself before Spencer's answer.

"I am more than sure, Em." Spencer caressed her girlfriend's left cheek with her right hand, and staring into her brown eyes whispered, "We are free now, I promise."

Hanna opened her mouth again, not believing what she was hearing, but this time it was Melissa the one to stop her. "Tomorrow, Hanna." Walking towards the door, she slightly turned to smile at her sister and added, before leaving, "Congratulations Emily, you're taking away my little sis."

"She said yes?" Hanna started hoping up and down, and Aria shook her head at her childish behavior.

"She is here", Emily said, looking at her uneasily. "And I said yes, but I'd really appreciate it if you would leave like right now, before my fiancée has to take you out of this barn."

Aria laughed, and taking Hanna's hand started walking to the door, closing the door after yelling, "Congrats girls!"

Quickly locking the door, Spencer turned to face Emily with a huge grin on her face. "Fiancée? I love how it sounds when you say it." Slowly, she put her hands around the swimmers neck, softly beginning to kiss her neck.

Emily closed her eyes, but before it was too late to talk she pushed Spencer's body slightly away, gaining a worried look. Smiling, she said, "I love saying it, but you need to know that you're not getting away without a punishment this time. Tomorrow you'll tell me absolutely everything, and then I'll decide if I want to forgive you or not."

Tensing at the words she just heard, Spencer looked at Emily's eyes and asked, "Emily, would you really not forgive me if I had done something wrong to get something that I think was the best for all of us, especially for you?"

Emily could sense the weight of Spencer's question. Whether she said yes or no, she should be careful with her words, because they could be misunderstood and it would be the end of their compromise. Closing her eyes for a few seconds, Emily calmed herself before opening them again, only to see the pain and worry on her girlfriend's eyes. Sighing, she realized she didn't know what to answer, so she just went with what she knew was the truth. "Spencer, there's nothing you could do that would make me stop loving you. I would forgive everything you did to me, as long as I knew it wasn't made to hurt me. However, there's a difference between forgiving you and wanting to forgive you, you understand?" Waiting for Spencer's quick nod, she kept talking. "I will forgive you, because I love you, but sometimes you'll go too far, and I know you'll do it, and I'll just forgive you because of my heart telling me to do it, not because of my head understanding whatever you did."

"Emily…" Spencer took the swimmer's hands between her own, and looked at the floor while thinking how to express her feelings properly. Emily waited patiently until Spencer was ready to say anything, and when she looked back at her again she felt her knees go weak at the sight of all the passion hidden in those two beautiful, brown eyes. Taking a deep breath, Spencer said, "Emily, if it hurts here", she put one of her hands on Emily's chest, feeling her heartbeats, "then it hurts here", she moved her hand again, this time to her own chest. "I love you, Emily Fields, and there's nothing I would ever do to intentionally hurt you."

Unable to form any word, Emily leaned forward and pressed her lips to Spencer's, kissing her with all the passion she had inside of her. When she felt the need of air, she finished the kiss, whispering against Spencer's lips, "I love you too, Spence, and… I want you." Spencer's eyes widened at the words, and she quickly kissed her again, this time more hungrily.

**A/N Cliffhanger again!**


	41. Chapter 41

**A/N This story is really getting harder and harder to write, even if I'm totally sure of what I want to say… Maybe it's just that I'm feeling too emotional, but knowing how it'll all end and having it stored in your head it really hard… Anyway, I'm just gonna answer to my wonderful reviewers, as usual, and I'll try not to write too much, so you can go to read the story as fast as possible.**

**xxx-Over-the-storm-xxx****: I know it's not fair to put a cliffhanger at the end of a chapter, but life's not a fair thing itself, so… And, can I ask what is it what is it that you saw about me on the chapter that you loved? Because when I re-read it I had the feeling that it was written by a teenage girl who was watching Grey's Anatomy -.-' Oh, and the fact that you know I can't believe you and you keep trying makes me think you are way more stubborn than I first thought, but anyway I like it, and thank you :')**

**Craycrayforshay****: I am really glad you like the chapter, and I think I'm gonna miss you reviewing on every chapter, even if it was only to say you liked it… And we have a problem, because if you cry I'll cry, and I don't wanna cry! But, anyway, let me tell you a secret: I'm thinking about making a sequel of this story, about the after-A life, but I won't start anything until March (at least), and as I said, it's a secret, so you can't tell anyone ;)**

**I know I said I would try not to write a lot, but… I lied! Well, this is all, so here it goes, starting from last chapter's cliffhanger, and not ending until my fingers started to hurt (I've been typing school stuff all afternoon, and it really tires me). Enjoy!**

**Chapter 41.**

As they were kissing, Spencer pulled apart and stared for what felt like hours on Emily's usually happy eyes, now darkened with lust. Taking her hand, she led her to the barn's bedroom, closing the door behind them. Turning around, Spencer found herself unable to move at the sight of her girlfriend waiting for her to join her on the bed. Emily sighed, and got off the bed, smiling while approaching Spencer. When they were face to face, she whispered, "If you don't wanna go to the bed, then I'll have to make you go, don't you think?"

That comment finally made a Spencer snap out of her mind, and she roughly put her hand behind Emily's neck, pushing their lips together. Teasingly, Emily moved her hands to Spencer's lower back, sliding them under the hem of her shirt, making her girlfriend shiver at the contact. Their tongues met inside their mouths, and Spencer started seeing sparkling stars at the corners of her eyes, feeling the need of oxygen. Pulling apart, she tried to make some of the yoga breath exercises she remembered at the moment, in an attempt to calm her heart, and it made Emily laugh. "Don't laugh at me, I'm not a swimmer like you!"

"Yeah, but you look cute when you're blushed like this." Pulling a lock of Spencer's hair behind her ear, Emily leaned to kiss her girlfriend again. The kiss quickly made Spencer reaction, and she pushed Emily towards the bed. When Emily felt it behind her knees, she slowly laid herself down, taking Spencer down with her. The swimmer started kissing her way to Spencer's neck, sucking roughly when she heard the moan that indicated she had reached her girlfriend's pulse point, making sure to leave a not-so-small hickey. Forgetting about what was there, she moved her hands to take Spencer's wrists, and she felt her sudden change. Stopping everything they were doing, Spencer stared at the floor, ashamed, while Emily stared at her face. Taking her hands, she whispered, "I love you, Spencer, and whatever you do to hurt yourself will never make me stop loving you. In fact, it will hurt me too, but I will stay with you no matter what, so… These scars are only a prove, and you are getting through it, you are already taking the steps to recovery, so don't you dare be ashamed about it with me, because right now it would hurt me more than anything." Leaning down, she left a sweet kiss on Spencer's wrist, and when she looked back at her girlfriend again she saw the tears streaming down her face. Worried she had gone too far, she tried to wipe her tears away.

"I love you", Spencer muttered, surprising Emily by pushing her against the bed and lovingly kissing her. Slowly, the kiss grew more heated, making both of the girls forget about what just had happened. When Emily started to undo the buttons of Spencer's shirt, she felt no resistance, and she quickly became too impatient for them, so she pulled at the shirt, making the buttons fly across the bedroom and Spencer look at her startled.

"Sorry…" Emily started to apologize, but she was silenced by Spencer's lips, while she felt the body of the shorter girl on top of her. Without she could even notice, both of them were totally naked, staring into each other eyes. Spencer tried to make a move first, but Emily rolled them so she was on top, and started leaving humid kisses through her girlfriend's bare chest, making her moan. When she felt happy with her work there, she moved lower and lower, making Spencer's groan and throw her head back when blew over her core. She started licking, sucking and kissing the inside of her girlfriend's thighs, making her whimper in need.

"Please…" Spencer cried, making Emily stop to look at her in disbelief.

"What did you just said?"

"I said…" Spencer looked at her pleadingly, but suddenly something seemed to change inside of her, and she said, "I said 'please'." Before Emily could react to her words and the shock of hearing Spencer said them, she felt her girlfriend's strong hand behind her neck, gently pushing her head towards her goal. Feeling more turned on than she'd ever been before, Emily gladly answered her fiancée silent demand, making her scream while reaching her orgasm in less than five minutes.

Panting, Spencer felt Emily's naked body slid along hers. When they were finally next to each other, they felt unable to form any words, so they showed all the love they had for each other with one of the most lovingly kisses they ever shared. Feeling she could breathe normally again, Spencer rolled on top of her girlfriend, quickly making her way down her body and moaning when she felt her wetness. She started taking care of her fiancée needs, but when she felt she was near to release she stopped and started making her way back to her face. Sucking on her neck, she whispered, "Open your eyes." Emily did as she was told, and she was rewarded with Spencer sliding two fingers inside of her, making her instantly scream her girlfriend's name.

Tired, they put the covers above them, and Emily curled on Spencer's side while whispering, "I love you, fiancée."

Spencer smiled, and answered, "I love you too, Ems… Oh, and you can stay here tonight, I already asked your mom for permission."

Emily looked at her questioningly, and asked, "When?"

"Right after she asked me if we would use mine or yours last name once we're married."

"Emily Hastings… I love how it sounds, don't you?" Emily kissed Spencer's shoulder and closed her eyes, imagining how their life would be once they were married.

Spencer went to answer, when she felt Emily's soft snores, and realized she had fell asleep in the middle of their conversation. Smiling, she remembered the time she had fell asleep in the middle of something, and she looking at the ceiling until the warm of Emily's body hugging her was enough to make her fall asleep without the fear of having nightmares.

Eight hours later, Spencer's phone started beeping, and she moved her hand until she found it. Sighing, she put the alarm off and convinced herself she could sleep for a few more minutes, but right after closing her eyes, she felt Emily's kisses on her neck. Still with her eyes closed, she warned her girlfriend, "Emily, don't start something we can't finish. We have school, remember?"

"No, we don't." Emily smiled against her girlfriend's neck, and resumed kissing her. When she felt Spencer moving away from her mouth, she frowned and said, "Oh, I forgot to tell you we have twenty minutes to have a shower before Hanna and Aria are here, they texted me to say today was a no-going-to-school-and-talk-about-serious-stuff day."

Spencer opened one eye and looked at Emily, trying to know if she was serious or not. She hated not going to school, and lately her marks had been slightly worse than usual because of everything around her, but she saw she had no chance of going in Emily's eyes. Sighing, she rolled out of bed and walked to the shower, not realizing she was still naked. When she was under the hot stream, she felt Emily's arms hugging her, and she leaned in her lover embrace, purring, "I knew you'd want to save water."

Smiling, Emily kissed her shoulder and made her turn to face her. Then, she got the sponge and started rubbing her girlfriend's body, trying not to hurt her when she reached her arms. After she had had all of her body rubbed, she took the sponge from Emily's hands and did the same the swimmer had done to her, not making any move to make things go forward. When they had both cleaned each other's hair, they stepped out of the shower and took a clean towel to dry their bodies. Before they were done with their hair, they heard a knock at the door, and Emily wrapped herself in her towel, sighing while walking to open the door. Spencer went back to the bedroom and putting on some random clean panties she had in the barn for this kind of occasion, and threw on an oversized t-shirt that came down to the middle of her thighs.

When she walked to greet her friends, she felt Emily's jaw fall open and her eyes darkening with lust. Smiling to herself, she hugged both Hanna and Aria, and turned to her girlfriend to say, "You can go change now, if you want to, and I have some clean underwear in the drawer I left open for you. Take whatever you want from the closet, Melissa won't mind." Smiling, she pushed her towards the bedroom doors, slapping her ass when she thought neither Hanna nor Aria would see her.

"I saw you, Spencie." Hanna winked at her friend when Emily was gone, but Aria elbowed her stomach, reminding her why they were there. They had agreed on talking about the proposal while Emily was changing, and then they would wait for Melissa, who they had already called, and talk about what she and Spencer had promised to tell them the previous day. "So, tell us about her reaction when she saw the ring."

As she was finishing telling Hanna and Aria everything about how she had proposed to Emily and how she had said yes, Spencer felt Emily's arms hugging her for the second time that morning, and she couldn't stop the grin that appeared on her face while she felt her girlfriend's warm body against hers. Turning to kiss her, they were interrupted by Hanna's cough and the door opening. Melissa made her appearance, startling everyone by tightly hugging Spencer in front of them. Smiling, she pulled back, and briefly stared at Emily before hugging her as tightly as she had just hugged her little sister. Finally pulling back, she took both of the girls hands and happily said, "Congratulations, girls, you just took a big step on life, and I'm happy you love each other as much as you do."

Aria nodded at Hanna, allowing her to interrupt the emotional scene, and the blonde girl started complaining, "I thought you came to tell us something, not to take the breath out of Emily!"

Turning to her friend, Spencer rolled her eyes and motioned for them to sit. Once they were sitting, she took a deep breath and searched for Emily's hand before saying anything. Feeling the squeeze her fiancée gave her, Spencer finally found the strength to talk, and so she did. "First of all, I want you to wait until I'm done talking to say anything." Waiting for the eager nods that followed her request, Spencer stared at Hanna until she nodded twice, making sure her blonde friend understood she didn't want anyone to interrupt her. "Okay… I think I should start from the beginning of everything… Toby. When I saw him, I realized we had to do something about A, because they were everywhere, and they could even get in our beds, and that really scared me. I was feeling low for a whole week until I took a decision, and I contacted A. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be, considering we had once fooled Mona with Emily pretending to want to talk to her, and they came for me. They covered my eyes, so I wouldn't see them, but they promised I would meet all of them once I proved they could trust me. They gave me a phone, and the only thing I had to do was do whatever they ordered me to do. As what they called as a 'welcome gift', they stopped watching me while I wasn't with you guys, so I could tell Melissa everything. Not that I've always wanted to tell her, but we came back to talking terms before this, and she was being really supportive and caring, and since she's a lawyer I thought she could help us." Seeing the look Aria gave her when she talked as if all of them had agreed on her crazy plan, she quickly corrected herself, "I mean, I thought she could help me. We started researching, looking at every single detail, waiting for the little mistake that would drive us to them and it finally arrived while we were on our sleepover the other day on Hanna's. Me and Melissa, we, we got them."

Taking her sister's hand, Melissa continued the speech, "I found them, I have names, identities, addresses, driving licenses and, most important, I have proves. Of course, I did everything I need to do, as a lawyer who knows how to do this kind of stuff, to make sure that if anything happens to either one of you or someone from your family, even if it's just a little prank on someone you care about or a boyfriend, a girlfriend, a friend or an old friend, that they would be in jail for it. I have lawyers all over the world ready to throw them on the spotlight if anything happens, and I am absolutely sure that they can't reach all of them. A controlled Rosewood, but there's no chance they could make a move out of their scenery." Making a pause to let the words sink on them, she smiled and added, "You won, girls."

Hanna started crying of happiness, and Emily hugged Spencer, whispering loudly enough for all of them to hear, "If you do something like that again, I'll be the one to kill you, Spencer Hastings."

"The photo." Aria's voice made all of them turn to look at her, and they could clearly see the hurt of being betrayed for her best friend in her eyes. Spencer went pale at the sight, and she closed her eyes when she heard the confirmation of what Aria's train of thoughts had been. "You sent the photo, didn't you?"

**A/N Cliffhanger again, I'm becoming an specialist! ^^**


	42. Chapter 42

**A/N I hope you like this, because I totally enjoyed writing it, although it's not the happiest thing ever.**

**Craycrayforshay****: I hope you're lips are really sealed, because I'll have to kill you if you tell someone ;) Getting serious, I hope you like how the whole Aria-Spencer argument goes :)**

**xxx-Over-the-storm-xxx****: Okay, everything you said about me is really beautiful, but I think we need to talk about what you think people fall for, because I think we'll disagree there. Anyway, you are amazing, and I'm glad that you didn't got too mad, because as I really tried to update as soon as I could, and I'm also glad you like the chapter :)**

**Enjoy your reading!**

**Chapter 42.**

"I said", Aria looked calmly, but anyone near enough to take a look at her eyes would be able to see the fury burning on them, "Did you send the fucking photo, Spencer?" Hanna looked alarmed at her short friend, but didn't dare to say anything. Seeing that Spencer wasn't making any attempt to answer, Aria yelled, "Answer my question! Did you send it?"

"Aria…" Emily reached for her friend's hand, but she pulled away from her. Since she had first asked it, everyone sitting in the barn had known the answer to that question, but apparently she needed confirmation from her best friend herself.

"No, Em, she wants an answer, so…" Spencer took a deep breath, and opened and closed her mouth a few times, too nervous to talk. Finally, it was Emily squeezing her hand that made her calm enough to say something. "Yes, I did it." Spencer stood still while emotions flew through Aria's face. "I did it, because I knew that the love you and Ezra have for each other is stronger than that, and I was totally sure that nothing would happen that could hurt you. It wasn't until later than I saw how wrong I'd been, but I tried to repair things, and when you went to his apartment everything got solved." After telling everything, she closed her eyes, not wanting to see Aria's reaction.

"You did it, and you still say that we don't love each other enough… You have guts, Spencer Hastings." Aria got off the couch where she had been sitting, and started walking towards the door. When she had her hand on the knob, without turning back, she added, "I don't wanna hear anything from you, Spencer. I'm done, you're dead to me." Harshly, she opened the door and stepped outside, closing it behind her. At first, she thought about slamming the door, but then she thought it would be too dramatic. The only thing she could think about was seeing Ezra and letting him comfort her.

Inside the barn, Spencer stared at the floor oblivious to the worried looks Melissa, Emily and Hanna shared. Suddenly, Hanna burst into tears, and Spencer finally looked up just to see the fear on her blonde friend's eyes. Mentally snapping herself, she remembered she had promised her that she wouldn't lose her best friends because of that whole mess, and now there was a high chance she would have to decide between Spencer and Aria. Carefully, Spencer moved herself until she was next to Hanna, and hugged her tightly, closing her eyes and trying to hide the physical pain it caused to her arms. Slowly, Hanna's sobs began to disappear, and both Emily and Melissa went to the barn's kitchen to find them something to drink.

Opening the fridge, Emily looked at Melissa and whispered, "Thank you, for being there for her."

"You don't have anything to thank me for, she's my little sister and we wasted too much time being bitchy with each other." Sighing, Melissa put four glasses on the counter, looking at how Hanna and Spencer were now talking. "I know it may sound selfish, but this was the perfect opportunity for me to make things right with her, and I'm glad she came to me and not to any of you."

"I don't think she could've come to us…" Emily poured water in the glasses, and looked at her future sister-in-law and smiled, taking her hand and saying, "But thank you anyway, I know you'll be a good aunt to our future children."

That comment certainly amused Melissa, who asked, "Children? Aren't you too young to be thinking about having children yet?" Without waiting for an answer, she took two of the glasses and walked to hand them to Hanna and Spencer, turning to see Emily had followed her and was handing her one of the glass she had taken.

When her sister and her girlfriend joined them, Spencer looked at Hanna's eyes and asked, "Are you angry at me, Han?"

"How could I possibly be angry at you, Spencer?" Right when the words left her mouth, Hanna thought about a few good reasons she had to be really mad at her friend, and added, "Okay, I could be, and I won't say I like knowing that you lied to all of us, but I forgave Mona for a similar reason, and I can't imagine my life without all of you." Realizing that maybe she would have to learn how to live without any other reunion of the four of them, tears filled her eyes. Taking a sip from her glass, she stated calmly, "She'll forgive you, she just needs time."

Emily smiled at her friend, silently thanking her for reassuring her girlfriend. Looking at Melissa, she saw she looked worried about something, and she squeezed her hand to get her attention. "Say it", she whispered without neither Spencer nor Hanna hearing it.

Turning to face the blonde girl, Melissa took a deep breath and whispered, "Hanna…" Hanna abruptly faced her, and she cleared her throat before saying, "Hanna, there's something I think you should know…" Noticing that Emily hadn't released her grip on her hand, she resumed talking. "I know you've been visiting Mona, and I've heard that you've been visiting her… I just thought you should know that there's no way of getting out of the A team, whether you've been caught and locked in a psychiatrist or not."

"Are you implying… Are you implying that she's still part of the A team?" Emily put voice to everyone's thoughts, and when Melissa nodded she looked at Hanna's reaction worriedly.

Surprisingly, Hanna just smiled and said, "I've always known, but that never made me hate her or anything. She'd been my best friend for a long while, and I can't just simply forget all of that. Also, since she was locked I know she can't hurt me, and I can't just leave her alone and walk away." Sighing, she looked at her feet and whispered, "I can't leave her alone, since all of this was our fault…" Too quick to any of the girls to stop her, she ran from the barn. When she realized they had driven there on Aria's car, she took her phone out of her purse and started talking to her house. On her way, she texted Caleb telling him to meet her as soon as possible in her home. Knowing that he would be there as fast as he could, most surely worried about something happening to her, she smiled while imagining his reaction to the news.

Back in the barn, Melissa smiled at Spencer and Emily and said, "She'll be okay, and so will Aria, but I suggest you wait a few days until trying to get her to talk to you, sis." Standing, she hugged the two girls for a few seconds and added, not letting them say anything, "I'm leaving now, I have stuff to do in Philly, but I'll be back tomorrow when you get out of school to take you to you-know-what, Spencer."

"I'll be ready, then." Spencer kissed her sister's cheek and stared at her back while she left the barn. Turning to face her girlfriend, she saw the questioning look she was giving her, and she answered before her lips could even form the question. "She'll take me to a doctor who'll help me with, you know, my problem."

Smiling, Emily leaned and lightly kissed Spencer's lips, softly whispering, "I love it when you know what I'm thinking without me saying anything." Tangling her hand between Spencer's hair, she pulled in for a deeper kiss, making both of them blush when they pulled apart.

"I think it's better if I take you back home now, we don't want your mother thinking I forced you into spending one more night with me." Spencer took Emily's hand and tried to help her to her feet, but the swimmer forced her to sit again, moving until she was straddling her. "Well, we can always say we overslept…" Spencer's words were interrupted by a soft moan escaping her lips when she felt Emily's cold hand lightly touching her thighs, making her throw her head back and close her eyes, and before she could register what was happening she felt Emily pull back. Opening her eyes, she saw Emily was standing in front of her, with a teasing grin.

"I think you should take me home now, honey." Slowly, Emily started walking towards the door, swinging her hips and making her best not to run back to the couch and make love to her fiancée until the sun was gone from the sky. Opening the door, she started walking to Spencer's car, but stopped in her track when she felt the warmth of her girlfriend's body against her back.

"You are such a teaser, you know?" Softly, Spencer kissed the back of Emily's neck, making her moan and regret having walked out of the barn, and pulled away proud of her payback. Sure that her girlfriend was following her, she added, "But I will always love you, honey."

Once in the car, they drove to the Field's, where Spencer stopped her car on the driveway. Concerned, Emily asked, for the nth time since they had left Spencer's home, "Are you sure you're okay?"

Sighing, Spencer turned to look at her and took her hand between her owns. "I promise I am okay, and now I'll go home, have a warm, nice, long shower, have dinner, study for a little while, read something and then I'll call you to remind you of how much I love you right before going bed." Leaning to kiss her, she quickly pulled away and asked, "Are you happy now?"

"Yes, I am." Smiling, Emily kissed her girlfriend chastely on her lips, knowing that her mother could be looking at them. Opening the door of the car, she said, "I love you, Spencer" and ran towards the door, disappearing before Spencer could answer her.

Happy to know that only one of her best friends had got angry with her, Spencer drove back home and went to her bedroom, where she finally looked at her phone and saw that she had five missed calls from Aria and two texts. On the first one, she said, "I'm still mad at you, but Ezra convinced me you didn't want to hurt me, and I'm really thankful for you beating A." Not knowing if she should feel relieved or not, Spencer opened the next text, and read it aloud, since now she was totally sure no one would be trying to hear her, "I want to forgive you, but first we need to talk, so I hope tomorrow you'll have some free time at lunch to talk with me. Also, I forgot to congratulate you and Emily." Smiling, Spencer let her body fall down on her bed, staring at the ceiling while smiling happily. After texting Aria that she would meet her at school, she went to the shower and had something to eat, feeling more relieved that she had felt in a too long while. Forgetting about studying, she decided she needed a well-deserved long sleep, and she changed into her pajamas, remembering to call Emily right before falling asleep.


	43. Chapter 43

**A/N Okay, I am really ashamed of this, but I just realized that on the last chapter I totally forgot to say something about the part between Emily teasing Spencer and they walking to the car, and when I re-read it I got the impression Spencer was walking and driving half naked. I know it would be funny, and sexy, but let's pretend she threw on some random clothes and no one freaked out while seeing a teenager walking around with only an old t-shirt (plus her underwear, of course). This is what happens when you re-read after uploading, and I'm really sorry for being such a mess -.-'**

**Craycrayforshay****: How could Aria stay mad at one of her best friends for long? As always, I'm glad to know you liked the chapter, and I don't know if I ever said this but thank you, with capital T, for being such an amazing reader and reviewer :)**

**xxx-Over-the-storm-xxx****: I guess that means you don't like cliffhangers, and I'm sorry but I just loooove them :P Of course Aria would talk to Spencer, that's what good friends do: talk about things and forgive each other. Okaaay, no arguing about it, Miss Stubborn, but you are not right and that really is all :)**

**Enjoy your reading!**

**Chapter 43.**

The sun rose in Rosewood's sky, and Emily Fields opened her eyes to see that it was still early and she could have a few more sleep time. Closing her eyes, she abandoned herself to the dreams that had been haunting her for a few weeks.

_Emily was running between trees that ended so high she couldn't see their end. It was dark, but she couldn't tell if it was because it was late at night or because of the trees' shadows. Knowing what would happen next, she turned to see a girl running towards her. Spencer. Not being able to change her fate, she ran towards her girlfriend, trying not to make too much noise. She saw the big, dark tree that would always made her turn to admire it's enormous size, and she tried in vain to run faster so she would be finally able to stop what would happen next. Spencer bent on her knees, and a loud cry echoed through the darkness. Emily sped until she saw the shadow hiding behind a tree next to her girlfriend. It was the moment when she would usually just stop and look, but somehow she managed to keep running, only to find that she wasn't fast enough. When she was only a few feet away from Spencer, she saw the shadow growing bigger, and a hand appeared to stab her girlfriend's back with a long, sharp branch. A scream made Emily's heart break in tiny pieces, and she closed her eyes and cried before having to see the blood abandoning Spencer's body._

The alarm went off, making Emily jump in her bed. She felt her cheeks wet, and she didn't need to make any effort to remember why she had been crying. The dreams that had been making her suffer night after night should have ended with Spencer's confession, but apparently the only difference was that now she could see her girlfriend's dying from a front row seat. Sighing, she rolled out of her bed and dragged her feet to the bathroom, where she quickly had a shower and got ready for school. Groaning, she walked to the kitchen, where she was greeted by her mother and Spencer.

"Good morning sweetie, did you have any more nightmares?" Mrs. Fields asked her daughter, oblivious to the look she gave her when she mentioned her bad dreams.

"Nightmares?" Spencer's eyes moved from her future mother-in-law and looked questioningly at Emily, who shook her head trying to make her understand they would talk about it later.

"I don't feel like having breakfast today, mom, so do you mind if Spencer and I have a walk to school?"

Pam Fields frowned, trying to remember if Emily had swimming practice that morning, but decided to let her go. Last morning the Rosewood High's principal had called her to tell her neither Emily nor her friends had gone to school, and she hadn't had time to talk about it to her daughter. Sighing, she couldn't but smile when she saw Spencer take Emily's hand and unconsciously play with her ring. Suddenly, a thought came to her mind, and she called the girls before they had opened the front door. "Spencer, don't you have a ring?"

Emily's face went paled when she realized she was the one supposed to buy her a ring, and she tensed when she felt Spencer shrugging. Turning to look at her, she saw something she couldn't recognize on her girlfriend's eyes, and before she could open her mouth she squeezed her hand and talked. "Not yet, Missis Fields, but I've already thought about it and I have everything planed, don't worry." Smiling, she took her girlfriend's hand and walked out of the house, leaving both Pam and Emily wondering what she had planned. When they were finally alone, she turned to Emily and put a finger on her lips, leaning forward and whispering on her ear, her breath making her shiver. "Don't ask, it's a secret, and I won't ask about your mysterious dreams." Silently nodding, Emily agreed to the pact and they started peacefully walking to school, leaving Spencer's car on the Field's driveway.

The morning passed faster than ever, with Emily thinking about the ring she should have thought about buying to Spencer, and Spencer wondering about her girlfriend's nightmares. Lunchtime came, and Spencer found herself facing Aria sooner than she had expected. Worried, she took a look at her friend's face, and she couldn't hide the relief that took over her body when she saw she didn't seem angry.

"Do you mind if we go talking somewhere private?" Aria didn't wait for an answer before taking Spencer's wrist in a tight grip and led her to an empty class. When she finally let her go, she saw she was biting on her lip, tears streaming down her face. "Oh God, Spencer, don't cry! I don't hate you, we are best friends, remember?" She tried to reach for Spencer's hand, but she quickly pulled it away, trying to keep her scars as far from Aria as possible. Seeing her friend's move, Aria frowned, thinking that maybe Spencer was scared of her, but pushing away the thought quickly, telling herself that Spencer wouldn't be scared of her. Seeing that Spencer was pulling at her sleeves, she saw the same action repeating on her memories of the last few weeks, and her heart skipped a beat when the true came to her mind. "Spencer…" Her voice was a mere whisper, but anyway it made Spencer's shadowy eyes look at her best friend's face. "Spencer, give me your hand." Spencer shook her head, and Aria took a step towards her. "Spencer, give me your hand now, or I'll take it by myself." Softening her voice, she added, "I can't help you if you don't let me try."

Shaking, Spencer gave her hand to Aria, who took it and rolled her sleeves up, closing her eyes when she saw the perfect lined scars from Spencer's wrist to her elbow. Terrified, Aria realized that her friend was bleeding right on the place where she had held her grip a few minutes ago, and taking a tissue from her pursue she pressed on the bleeding zone, not being able to tell how much scars she had open with her blunt action. "Spencer, listen to me." She forced Spencer to look into her eyes, and asked, "Who knows about this?" She waited for a few seconds, but seeing that her friend had no intentions of answering she asked again, "Spencer, does Emily knows?" Quietly, Spencer nodded. "Hanna?" This time, she shook her head. _Good, _Aria thought to herself, _she has had enough trouble with her eating and she wouldn't be able to deal with this when she just got her deserved break to enjoy with Caleb._ Thinking about who else could know, and knowing that neither Mr. Hastings nor his wife could know about this, she saw a face in front of her, telling her that she had been helping Spencer. "Melissa knows too, doesn't she?" A nod again. Aria couldn't avoid feeling jealous, she had always been one of Spencer's best friends and she had always thought that they were as close as Hanna and Emily were, and the realization that Spencer had trusted her sister before her really hurt. "Is anyone helping you?" Nodding, Spencer started sobbing, and Aria stopped her interrogatory to carefully hug her friend.

When the bell rang, they silently abandoned the class, after making sure they both looked perfect, and that anyone could guess what had happened in there only by their looks. Smiling, Aria kissed Spencer's cheek and whispered on her ear, before leaving, "I'll always be here for you, not matter how angry I look, never forget that."

Smiling, Spencer looked at her friend's back while and whispered, "Thank you", quietly enough that only she heard her words. Looking around and don't seeing Emily, she forced a smile into her face and walked to her next class, afraid of where her sister would take her once school was over.

Sooner than she had wanted it to be, last period's bell rang, and Spencer took her bag from the floor and walked to the doors, seeing Emily waving to her. Smiling, this time a true smile, she ran to her girlfriend and gently kissed her lips, closing her eyes and feeling the warmth of Emily's love running through her body.

"Do you want me to go with you?" Emily asked, worried about what could happen if she got a yes as an answer.

Knowing the struggle her girlfriend was going through, Spencer smiled and took Emily's hand before answering. "I think it would be better if you went to your swimming practice, and I promise I'll call you and tell you everything once I'm back at home." Kissing her again, Spencer pulled back when she realized she would be late if she didn't go then, and whispered, "But thank you anyway, these little details are what make me love you so much."

"I love you too, fiancée." Smiling, Emily let Spencer go, dreamingly looking at her while she ran to her sister's car.

In Melissa's car, Spencer opened the passenger's door and threw herself on the seat, gaining an uneasily look from her sister. "I hope those clothes are not dirty, because I just cleaned the car and I want it to stay that way."

Astonished, Spencer turned to look at her sister. "Are you too old to remember what we do at high school?" Laughing, she turned on the radio and closed her eyes, not looking at the road her sister was driving through, and asked, "Will you go in with me?"

"As long as you want me to go with you, I won't let you go alone through any of this." Melissa reached for her sister's hand and squeezed it, before taking her eyes back to the road. Worriedly, she commented, "I thought Emily would come with us today…"

Opening her eyes, Spencer looked out the window and answered, "She asked if I wanted her to come, but I'm afraid she would suffer and… I don't want her to hear most of what I have inside of me..." Sighing, she continued. "She loves the girl, not the monster."

Abruptly stopping the car, Melissa turned to look at her sister and said, "Don't you ever dare to say that. She loves you, both the girl and what you call the monster, and she is willing to marry you, so don't say she doesn't love everything about you, because I swear I've never seen someone love as much as she loves you. Well, maybe you love her as much as she loves you, but the kind of love you have for each other is much stronger that whatever happens, and this", Melissa took Spencer's hand and carefully rolled up her shirt's sleeve, "this, is just something eventual, and the two of you will get over it together."

Spencer whipped away tears she couldn't remember feeling before, and hugged her sister while saying, "Thank you, sis, I love you."

Trying to content her own tears, Melissa pulled away and smiled at her sister. "You better do. And now, get your ass out of this car, we arrived."

"Yes, ma'am!" Spencer answered playfully, running out of the car and waiting for her sister to join her. Hand by hand, doing a very good job at hiding how nervous both of them were, they walked inside a building in front of the place Melissa had parked her car.


	44. Chapter 44

**A/N Okay, here it goes, Spencer getting professional help with her sister by her side. I have to say that I'd totally love it if Melissa and Spencer had a better relationship in the show, because Spencer will need someone when she finds about Toby and… Well, if I could I'd change so many things about the show… Not that I don't like it, I love it, but you know, Spemily should be real…**

**jrzygurl89****: Okay, you gave me such a good idea with what you said about Pam and the ring, so I hope you like how I solved it. Thanks for reviewing :)**

**Craycrayforshay****: Nightmares are the worst thing ever, but I just felt like Emily was being too strong and I thought she didn't seem real enough… Thanks for the review, and I hope you like this chapter too :)**

**xxx-Over-the-storm-xxx****: Okay, I am really sorry that last chapter made you feel sad, I wish I could do something to make you feel better. And just so you know, you can't compare to Spencer, because of one very important fact: you are real, and the Spencer I write about is only on my mind, and there you'll always be stronger than any fictional character I could create. And I really hope you can find someone to help you, I'd do anything to see you getting totally better *virtual hug* :)**

**tree woods****: That always happens to me when I watch the show, I'm always waiting for Spencer and Emily to kiss ;) Thank you for reviewing, and I'm really glad you like this story :)**

**That's all, enjoy!**

**Chapter 44.**

"Can I see them?" The doctor asked, knowing that most probably the answer would be no.

Melissa elbowed Spencer, and the look she gave her made it clear that she was there for a reason. _Well, it's not like I have any other option…_ Closing her eyes, Spencer rolled up her shirt's sleeve, showing her left arm. When the doctor tried to touch her, she pulled away, not wanting anyone to touch her.

Smiling, the doctor looked at her and said, "I'm sorry, I won't touch you if you don't want me to." Taking her pen, she looked at the scars and started taking notes. "Was it on porpoise?"

"What?" Spencer looked at her sister, wondering what kind of person she had took her to see.

"The scars, they are lined." The doctor pointed to Spencer's arm, and for the first time she realized how far her OCD had gone. Closing her eyes, she shook her head, thinking she was crazier than she had first thought. "It looks like you have a serious problem… I'm afraid we'll have to work about too many things before I can let you totally go… Could you come visit me twice a week?"

Looking at Melissa, Spencer nodded, reaching for her sister's hand. It wasn't easy, but she needed to do it.

"Okay…" The doctor took more notes, and then she asked, not sure about if she'll get an answer, "Can you tell me how you feel when you cut?"

"I…" Spencer looked at Melissa, and closed her eyes. It would be easier if her sister wasn't there hearing her, but she had to do it, she had to open herself to that strange sitting in front of her, not only for herself, but for Emily. "I feel good. I'm in control, I'm finally in control of everything." Feeling Melissa squeeze her hand, she kept going. "If I wanted to, I could press harder and see myself die, and that means that I'm in control of my whole life. I have my whole life on my hands, and that makes me feel stronger that anything. The cold of the blade against my bare skin, softly opening a new scar on my arm, and the warm blood running down to my hands… I can feel my heart beating, sending blood through my veins, blood that I'm taking out of my body, and knowing that if I wanted to I could bleed myself to death is… I'm afraid it's the second best feeling I've ever felt."

"What's the first one?" The doctor asked without looking up from her notes, and added, when she felt Spencer hesitating, "The best feeling you've ever felt, what's it?"

"Oh, I…" Melissa threw her arm around Spencer's shoulders, and hugged her, making her know that whatever it was she could say it. "Loving Emily, and knowing that she loves me back… She's my girlfriend, she's been supporting me through all of this, and the other day I proposed to her and she said yes." Smiling, she felt the tears coming to her eyes, but she was too stubborn to let herself cry in front of a stranger, so she closed her eyes and inhaled deeply a few times before opening them again. "She's everything to me, and I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for her… I mean, I'm here thanks to my sister, but because I want and need to get better for Em, I need to be good enough for her."

Smiling, the doctor stood and shook Spencer's hand. "Well, I think that's enough for today, I'll call your sister to make the next appointment…" When the girls were leaving through the door, she added, "Oh, and Spencer!" When the girl turned to her, she smiled again and said, "Congratulations, I know you'll make it for your fiancée."

Taking each other hand again, both Melissa and Spencer walked back to Melissa's car, where Spencer turned on the radio and stared out of the window. Once there, where no one could see her, she let her tears stream down her face, and the sudden relief that took over her body made her regret being so up-tight when it came to crying. Feeling Melissa sitting next to her, driving in silence, she realized how much she had needed having her sister by her side over the years. Feeling the sobs getting under control, she whispered, "Thank you for being here, Melissa."

"That's what sisters are for, Spencer." Still looking at the road, she took her sister's hand and squeezed it, parking her car in their driveway. Stopping, she turned to look at Spencer and hugged her. "I can stay here with you if you want me too, we can have a girls' night."

"If you don't mind…" Spencer looked at her sister shyly, and when she saw the smile on her face she hugged her tightly. When they finally pulled apart, she asked, "Did you talk with Pam about the ring thing?"

"Oh God, that woman almost killed me when I told her your plan of giving her secretly money so she could give it to Emily to buy you a ring! You should have told me how angry she would get!" Spencer laughed, opening the door of the car and waiting for her sister to continue her story outside. When Melissa joined her, they walked inside the house talking. "She started saying that her husband was working hard for them, and that they don't need anyone's money, and when she finally calmed she started talking about having a ring that's been on her family for over two hundred years, and that she had been waiting to give it to Emily until she found the person to share the rest of her life with, and… Okay, she will give the ring to Emily this afternoon, and they'll talk, so probably you'll be busy tomorrow's afternoon having a date with your girlfriend, and please don't say anything that will make me think about my little sister having sex."

Laughing, Spencer opened her mouth to tell Melissa that she wasn't going to say anything about that, when she found herself face to face with her mother's worried face. "Spencer Jill Hastings, did you really proposed to your girlfriend without telling me first?"

"I… Mom, listen…" For the first time on her life, Spencer couldn't find the right words to say, and she looked at Melissa hoping she would get the hint and help her.

Taking a step towards her mother, Melissa took her sister's hand and defended her. "Mom, they are in love, and if you were here for her a little more I'm sure she would've told you."

Shaking her head, Veronica Hastings walked around Melissa and hugged her little girl tightly. Crying, she started whisper in Spencer's ear, "I love you, Spencer, and I'm sorry you felt like you couldn't trust me enough, but I am here for you and I promise I'll help you with everything you need with the wedding, and…"

"Wait, mom! We are not getting married until we graduate, and maybe we'll even wait until we finish first or second year of university, so you don't have to plan any wedding until then." Not letting her mother go, Spencer looked at Melissa biting her low lip until it started bleeding, and her sister understood that her mother was really hurting her, so she took her away and walked with her to the kitchen, leaving Spencer alone. After a few minutes trying to calm, she walked to the kitchen and leaned against the counter, grinning at the thought of how wonderful it was to have a happy family for once, even if there was still tons of secrets between them. "Mom, can you call me when dinner's ready? I wanna take a shower and I'd like to talk with Emily."

"Sure, it'll be ready in about one hour."

Spencer ran to her bedroom and quickly took a shower. In twenty minutes, she was already sitting on her bed, her hair still wet, tipping Emily's number on her phone. When Emily answered, she closed her eyes and let herself lay down on the bed, feeling the love her girlfriend had for her warming her heart.

"Good afternoon, gorgeous. How was you-know-what?"

Knowing that Pam Fields was surely near Emily, Spencer started explaining her girlfriend almost everything about her meeting with the doctor her sister had chosen for her, knowing that probably Emily wouldn't be able to talk as openly as she's like to.

"Well, I'm happy it went well, I hope we'll talk about it tomorrow…"

"Sure, I'll answer anything you ask, honey."

"Spencer…" Spencer abruptly opened her eyes, not recognizing the tone on Emily's voice. "Spencer, you know we've been out on a few dates, and you've always been the one to organize them, so… I wanted to ask…" Spencer closed her eyes again, knowing what would go next, and smiled. "Spencer, since tomorrow's Friday... Would you go out on a date with me tomorrow afternoon?"

"Are you asking me on a date, swimmer?" Spencer decided to tease Emily, seeing that she was having a hard time with the date thing.

"Spencer, don't tease me! I swear you'll pay for this!"

Laughing, Spencer threw her head back and rolled out of her bed, turning on her computer. "I thought you mom was around, what would she think about her baby girl if she knew how naughty you are?"

"Spencer, will you go out with me, yes or no?"

"Of course I will, silly, you don't even have to ask me that!"

"Okay, now I have to go help my mom with dinner, but I won't forget what you called me."

Checking her email, she sent a kiss to her girlfriend and added, "I love you, and I'll remind you before I go bed."

"I love you too, Spencie." Emily hung up the phone and ran downstairs, where her mother was waiting for her. Without saying anything, Pam Fields extended her arm and put a little box on her daughter's hand. Looking at the box, then at her mother's face, and finally back at the box again, she opened it to see her family's ring inside of it. "Mom, what does this mean?"

"This means that you can give Spencer a ring now, a ring that has a meaning for this family and…" Hugging Emily tightly, Pam continued talking, "Since you love each other that much, and I was thinking about giving it to you anyway, I thought you should give it to her… We don't have lots of money, and you can't buy her a diamonds ring, but this ring means much more than any other ring you could give her." Pulling away from her daughter, she looked at her eyes before saying, "But, I don't want you to rush into this, you have to wait at least until you finish high school."

"Don't worry about that, mom, we were planning on graduate before planning anything." Smiling, Emily helped her mother making dinner, and they had a nice afternoon talking and relaxing.

Not so far away from there, Spencer was back on her bedroom after having dinner with all of her family. Her father hadn't been happy about the news, but he told her he would support her through anything, whether he agreed or not, so she didn't have anything to worry about. Waiting for Melissa to take a shower, Spencer started searching through her bedroom for any sharp objects, finding two knives and a few blades. Putting all of them on her desk, she added her scissors and her pencil sharpeners.

When Melissa stepped into Spencer's room, the first thing she saw was her sister's back, and one of her hands holding a knife. Running, she took it away from her sister's hands, only to find her looking at her with a frown. Closing her eyes and trying to hold her anger back, Melissa asked calmly, "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"I was trying throw all this things into the garbage, but if you don't want me to I won't." Spencer pointed to the desk, where all of the things she had been looking for were resting.

Sighing, Melissa smiled and gave the knife back to her sister. "Sorry, I thought… Well, I think it's very strong of you to throw all of this away, and I'm proud of you for it."

"Thank you", Spencer whispered, and then she threw everything into her garbage, quickly turning her back before feeling the need of taking them back. After that, they had a nice afternoon, watching TV and talking about banal things, until it was late enough to go bed. Not wanting her sister to leave, Spencer asked Melissa to hold her in her sleep, fearing that she would get up and take something back from the garbage. They turned the lights off and closed their eyes, smiling in the warmth of their embrace.

**A/N Next chapter will be the last one, I think 45 is a nice number of chapters and… Well, I need to focus on my grades.**


	45. Chapter 45

**A/N Here's the end… These days I've been re-reading this whole story, and it really feels amazing knowing that I wrote soooo much, and… Well, I just found that there's thousands of mistakes, and at first I thought about correcting them, but then I thought that it wouldn't be special (for me, when I read it again months later), and I'm too lazy to check the whole thing paying really attention to my spelling and grammar and style and too many things, so… Anyway, my English teacher kinda asked me for the url to read this little thing today, and even though I knew it would be awkward I gave it to him, so… Dear teacher, if you kept reading all the way until here, I wanna tell you that it may be awkward and all of that, but you asked for it, and my mistakes are probably because Microsoft Word keeps correcting things it shouldn't touch, so… No comments about this at school! :3**

**jrzygurl89****: I love sweet Melissa too, I think she should be something like that on the show… Well, I wish this could be forever too, but… I need some relax, but I'm not done with this thing :) And thank you for reviewing! 3**

**Craycrayforshay****: I'd really love them to be real on the show, but it seems like Spencer is straighter than I'd like her to be -.-' And you won't have to wait too much, so please please please don't cry! :'( 3**

**love54123****: Okay, I am really glad you liked this story, and I'm sad you are sad, but I hope you like this end… Anyway, thank you for reading and reviewing :)**

**xxx-Over-the-storm-xxx****: Glad to know you liked the chapter! And I'm more than glad to know that I am doing something for you, and… Well, you are amazing, so I'll just send you all my love and keep answering your review before getting emotional! Okay, well, it's not like totally over over, but… Well, I'm happy you understand, and I hope I can find time to write but I think it'll be hard, there's too many things going on right now… Anyway, I hope you like this last chapter! 3**

**That's almost all… I have to say that I wanted to make this like the longest chapter I've ever written, but I needed to end it before my birthday comes (which is this Sunday, by the way) and I was running out of time, so… I just really hope you like it, because right now I am getting super emotional at the thought of not going on just to upload this anymore… So, before I start crying… Read, enjoy and review! ^^**

**Chapter 45.**

Afternoon was almost there, and Spencer was running from her shower to her closet, trying not to die in the attempt. She was running out of time, she hadn't had any idea about the ideal outfit to wear, and she was really regretting having told Hanna she didn't need her help. Everyone knew there wasn't anyone in Rosewood who knew more about fashion than Hanna Marin, and there were more than a few girls who would have done everything for getting her to dress them, but Spencer had been too stubborn to accept her help. Spencer groaned, throwing dresses she could wear on her bed. Suddenly, a thought came to her. What if she wasn't supposed to wear a dress? What if she was overdressed? Knowing Emily, they would do something both funny and romantic, but it didn't have any meaning for Spencer.

Looking at her vanity mirror, Spencer stopped to stare at her reflection. She saw her arms, and the scars that were on them to remind her of how weak she could be. For the rest of her life. Maybe they would disappear with the time, if she got to be lucky enough. But she wasn't lucky. Sighing, she imagined the bitchy comments Ali would gave her if she were still alive.

"_You look lame, Spencer. Look at your arms, you'll have to cover them when summer comes. Do you really think Emily will stay with you once she realizes how weak you are?_" Crossing her arms, she stared at her own face. She was skinner than she had ever been, and that, with how pale she looked, made her thought that she really looked sick. "_Oh, look at how skinny you've become, maybe you could teach Hanna how to lose weight. It's sad that your sister doesn't have any boyfriend you can steal from her, don't you think?"_

Closing her eyes, Spencer erased her former best friend's voice from her mind, and gave a last look at her reflection before turning around and say aloud what she was dying to tell Ali. "At least I'm still alive."

A bitter laugh made her stop on her tracks. She could have recognized that laugh anywhere, and slowly she turned around, afraid of what could be waiting for her on the mirror. Astonished, she saw her. Ali. Alison DiLaurentis, looking totally alive. "_Poor Spencie, are you going crazy now?_"

"No…" Spencer felt her heart beating in her chest, and a shaking hand moved to touch the cold mirror. "You are not real, Ali…" A single tear ran down her cheek, and it wasn't until that moment that she realized that maybe she was going really crazy now. "You are dead, you can't be here..."

"_Who says I'm here, Spencer?_" Alison looked amused, even proud of herself for making Spencer Hastings doubt of her sanity. "_Don't you think it's weird that I'm in a mirror? Maybe I'm only in your head…_" Smiling, she locked her eyes with Spencer's, making the brunette shiver. "_Maybe I'm here so you can apologize, you know, for when you said you hated me, and then you added that I was dead for you, the same night I was murdered… It would be really nice of you._"

Spencer shook her head, knowing that what she was seeing was only a prank game of her own mind. Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes and said, more calmly than she had thought she would sound, "I won't apologize, because I don't feel it. You got what you were looking for, and I am not sorry for it, even if we were best friends and at first it was a shock that you disappeared but, just so you know, I didn't miss you at all."

The Ali on the mirror smirked, and Spencer realized she would never forget the classic evil look that she was seeing at that moment. She had seen it so many times that it almost felt like a flashback. "_I know someone who missed me… I think you know her, she is such a good kisser, and…_" Before she could end her sentence, a shoe flying across the room impacted with the mirror, sending glasses all over the bedroom.

Veronica Hastings heard the noise, and ran to her daughter's bedroom, opening the door to see Spencer standing in the middle of the room with her fists clenched. "Spencer?"

At the sound of her mother's voice, Spencer turned and put a fake smile on her face, "I think I need a new mirror, but if you don't mind I'd like you to order the one you like…"

Worried, Mrs. Hastings took a few steps towards Spencer, not knowing what had happened. When she saw the shoe resting on the floor, she connected the dates on her head, and realization hit her. Unable to speak, she hugged her baby girl.

It wasn't until when she had her mother's arms around her that Spencer remembered she was almost naked, her arms totally exposed. Quickly, she pushed her mom away and ran to her closet, throwing a sweater on. Once she was done, she faced the woman again, relieved that she hadn't seen anything. Smiling sweetly, she said, "Mom, thank you, but I really need to get dressed before I freeze, and Emily will be here soon…"

"Okay, I get it!" Veronica started walking to the door, reluctant to leave Spencer alone again, but getting the hint that she wanted to be alone. "I'll wait for you downstairs."

Sighing, Spencer followed her and closed the door, walking to her bed afterwards. Closing her eyes, she reached for a dress and decided it would be the one she'd wear. Feeling the fabric between her fingers, she smiled. She didn't need to open her eyes to know what dress was resting on her hands, but she stared at it for a long while. Grinning, she put it and started looking for the ideal shoes to wear with it. She knew she had them, a black pair of Jimmy Choo's that her mother had bought for her not so long ago. When she found them, a wave of pain crossed her face when she realized she needed to wear something to cover her arms. Nervously looking at the clock, she took a thin enough jacket that she wouldn't need to take off if they went to a restaurant or somewhere public. Running to check herself in her bathroom's mirror, she tried to imagine what would be Emily's reaction.

The bell rang, and she pressured downstairs, seeing her mom was already opening the door. Emily stepped inside the house, wearing a light yellow dress that fell right above her knees. "Wow, you look perfect." Spencer greeted her walking towards the door, leaving a chaste kiss on her lips before pulling away to take a second look at her girlfriend.

"I think you should look at yourself in a mirror, you _really_ look perfect", Emily laughed, taking her girlfriend's hand to her lips. Looking at Mrs. Hastings, she said, "We'll be back before midnight, I promise." Spencer's mom nodded silently, whipping a tear away when she realized how fast her daughter had grown up, and how much she would've given to go back in time and tell herself to enjoy it more.

Following Emily outside the house, Spencer asked, "Where are we going?"

"We're walking, and maybe later you'll know." Emily started walking down the street without letting go of her girlfriend's hand, and smiled when she saw the moon was illuminating their silhouettes. "So, how did it go, getting ready for something unknown?"

"Well, I have to confess that it's harder than I thought it would be." Spencer smiled and looked away, suddenly shy. "To be honest, I almost freaked out… I even saw Ali, in my mirror, and I threw a shoe to her…" Emily had to do her best to hide her worry, and looked at her fiancée's face, who continued talking while looking away, "I think I am going crazy, Em…"

That made Emily stop both of them. Reaching for Spencer's other hand, she leaned forward and pressed their lips together, standing like that for a few seconds that felt like heaven. Slightly pulling away, she pressed their foreheads together and they stared into each other's eyes. "If you were going crazy, I would keep loving you, because there's nothing in this world that could make me stop loving you, even if that makes me going crazy with you." Smiling, she kissed Spencer again and added, "I love you no matter what, Spencer Hastings."

"I love you too, Emily Fields." Spencer smiled and they resumed their walk. Some eternal minutes later, they approached a small pub, where Emily opened the door for Spencer to step in first. At first, she thought she wouldn't let Emily organize any more dates, thinking it would be a dirty, dark pub with loud music blasting and people drinking in the bar, but when she looked around she was truly surprised. It was a clean, well-illuminated place, with some table's set for dinner and an old man with a huge smile waving at them from behind the bar. Without turning around, Spencer felt Emily put one of her arms around her waist, while waving back to the man.

"I'll take you to our table, and be nice with Tom because he is a very nice man." Emily led her girlfriend to a small table in a corner, and saw Spencer was frowning. Knowing what she was thinking, she quickly added, "Not that you aren't always nice, but I just want you to be extra nice with our waiter tonight, because he's helped me a lot preparing all of this."

Smiling, Spencer reached for Emily's hand and gently squeezed it. "It's okay, I know sometimes I can be a little… Well, you know me better than I know myself, so…"

"Yeah, I know you pretty good, and since I know you that good I've already ordered our dinner before coming here, so you won't have to think too much." Winking, Emily nodded at Tom, who rushed to give them two glasses. When he left, Emily stared at Spencer's face.

"Champagne?" Spencer took the glass to her lips, taking a sip of the cold liquid inside of it, seeing that, indeed, it was champagne.

"I think having you as my girlfriend is making me more… How would Hanna say it? Preppy?"

"Yes, Hanna would call me preppy at any occasion she could have…" Smiling confidently, Spencer asked, "So, what's the big occasion?"

"Oh, the occasion is just that…" Taking her purse, Emily put a ring on the table, looking intently at Spencer. Seeing that she wasn't making any move, she sighed and explained herself. "Look, Spencer… I talked to my mom, and she gave me this ring… It had been on the family for lots and lots of years, and I know this is her way of telling me she is totally happy with me being gay, so… Well, there is only one person in this entire world that I would give this ring to, and she's sitting right in front of me…" She took the ring in her right hand, and taking Spencer's left hand, she let the ring slide on one of her fingers. "Luckily, the ring fits her perfectly, and I'll pray every night for having her always by my side."

"I think you don't need to pray for it, something's telling me that she'll always be with you." Spencer smiled and leaned towards Emily, kissing her lovingly. "I think I'll never get tired of telling you how much I love you, girlfriend."

"I think I'll never get tired of telling you I love you back, fiancée." Emily smiled, and laced their fingers together while looking at her intently. "Do you realize that we are almost married now?"

"Do you realize that we really belong to each other now?" Spencer smiled back, forgetting about all the drama that had been going on for the last few weeks.

"I've always belonged to you, even though I didn't know it yet." Emily sighed, feeling the worries fly away. "I remember when I used to dream about having you, and how impossible it seemed…"

"Well, maybe love is not just a dream." Spencer kissed Emily's lips again, feeling the warmth of her love take over her body.

**A/N This is all. Here ends this little story, buuuuut… I've been really, like really really, thinking about it, and there will be a sequel to this story, that I'll start uploading on early March, probably called "More than a dream", so stay around if you wanna read more and… Well, I'll keep writing on my Sparia story ("We belong together"), and I'm only a PM away, so… I'm getting really emotional now, and… I'm gonna miss writing this story, but I know it's for the best :')**


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